Saturday, December 16, 2017

Dear Santa. Part 2.







Dear Santa.

So I have covered my list of accomplishments for the past year, but to be fair, I feel I must employ full disclosure and discuss a few indiscretions as well.  Bottom line, I know that you "see me while I'm sleeping and you know when I'm awake" so to pretend that these things never happened would be silly - since you know them already.  But I will review them anyway.

1.  I STILL obsessivley sit by the garage door - in the hopes that it will magically open, providing me with access to the food bins. I know the bins are out of reach - but I can still keep jumping at them on the odd chance that I could make the bins topple to the floor.  I also have bolted through the door when instructed not to - again in the chance that I could get some free grub.  Let's face it.  I'm a PON.  And I'm always hungry. Perhaps I should just have my very own 40 lb bag of food to eat whenever I want.  Then again, that might not be the best solution as I would no doubt go through the whole thing in 5 minutes and still want more.  I guess I just need to control my cravings.  Maybe next year...

2.  While my counter surfing WAS better, my pillowcase eating habit was actually worse.  My human does not own an intact pair of pillowcases.  All have been chewed.  Every.  Single.  One.  I cannot be left alone in the bedroom - in the morning while she goes to get dressed.  I find pillowcases delectable.  Or just plain fun to shred.  Sorry about that...  I think she might have pillowcases on HER wish list.  

3.  I peed on the barbeque.  More than once.  Not while it was being used, of course, but basically ANY time I went out on the deck.  And I don't mean to be a tattletale - but the FG and Einstein did too.  So I was just following their lead.   Althoug I occasionally DID go first... 

4.  I tried to kill the bunny.  Not the real one.  The stuffed one. The one that we play Find the Bunny with.  I am awesome at finding him....but then I don't like to give him up - and left to my own devices would either decapitate him or make him an amputee.  Sorry about that...

5.  I don't share food from my food bowl.  Not that the others are ever trying to steal food - as they are usually busy chomping down their own food.  But IF I ever had any left, I wouldn't share.  My human can certainly take food from me - but not the other boys.  I want to say I'll do better next year - but as we have already discussed - food to a PON is like a flower to a bee.  We belong together...

So Santa, I hope you won't hold these infractions against me.  As I demonstrated in Part 1 of this letter, I have also done some good things.  Surely you will see that they outweigh the small issues listed here.

But we do need to talk about the "ask...."

To be continued...

Have a good one.  Peace andpaws up!

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