Humans are weird. I present more evidence.

Humans.  Seriously sometimes I look at you and really wonder about you.  You honestly do some very strange things.  Take for example this thing called the Indianapolis 500.  It's a big auto race in the US.  It was held this past weekend.  And LOADS of people go to watch it.  And watch in on TV too.  They watch cars go around a track.  Around.  And around.  200 times.  200 times.  I mean who thought of that:  Let's drive around and around - for 500 miles.  Won't that be interesting?!  If I went around in circles 200 times, I would be taken to the Vet for medication.

And this thing called the Stanley Cup.  The hockey championship.  Does the hockey season EVER end?  I mean, I THINK when hockey began 1000 years ago, it was a winter sport.  WINTER.  Well guess what?  Humans are STILL playing - and it's the end of MAY.  This hockey season will end, they will take a break for a few weeks and the pre-season will begin.  I don't get it.

And the salaries that you pay professional athletes.  Holy moly.    The people who make some of the greatest salaries on earth get paid for playing games.  Really. Yes we dogs can play sports too.  But I'm thinking the biggest prizes are NOT in the multi-million dollar range.  We generally win a 50 cent ribbon.   Seriously.  I wish I could get someone to pay me for retrieving a ball.  Just THINK of all the biscuits I could buy....

So those are my observations for today.  And humans think they are smarter than us canines.  I'm not so sure....

©  Linda Wozniak

Summertime safety

It's that time of the year.  Summer is almost officially here.  It's the time of year when the temperatures get hot.  And humans need to be reminded NOT to leave their dogs in cars.  Really.  Anyone who needs to be reminded probably shouldn't even be owned by a dog.

Do you know that on a 78 degree day, the temperatures in a car can go to 100 - 120 degrees in less than 15 minutes?!  A dog can quickly suffer heatstroke - or even worse - can die.

One of the large shopping malls in our area hires "Pet Patrol" staff.  These people walk around the parking lots and check for pets in cars.  I think it's a BRILLIANT idea.   Many areas are beginning to impose fines on owners if their dogs are left in a hot car - and owners can be charged with animal cruelty.  

If you see a dog who appears to be in distress, you can call the police.  If it looks like time is running out, you should probably attempt to break a window.  The best bet is a side window - as the front window is made differently and is stronger.  Look for a heavy object like a rock, or brick or piece of cement.  Some videos on-line show how to break a window with a piece of ceramic from a spark plug - but my question is: Who has the hammer handy to break the spark plug?  And if you DO have a hammer, why not use THAT on the window?  The point is, you may have to break that window - and using your hands alone will be pretty impossible.

Another thing about summer heat - we dogs like to ride with our heads out a car window.  While it may look cute and it will give us an interesting hairdo, keep in mind that we can get things in our eyes while riding like this.  So it's not really advisable.  I SUPPOSE we can do it if we like to wear goggles....  Count me out.

And lastly, don't allow us dogs to ride loose in the back of an open truck. In some areas, people can be issued a ticket for this dangerous practice.   If Velcro dog is even in the back seat of the car, my human has to use the child locks on the automatic windows - as he figured out how to open them.  Obviously, for long drives, we use a crate!

So those are my summer suggestions.  It's not quite summer on the calendar - but not to soon to consider these safety issues.  Really -these suggestions are not for MY regular blog readers - as you are smart enough to know this stuff.  But maybe you can pass it on to those people who are owned by dogs - but probably should have sea monkeys instead...

Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak

Thunder.

So on Saturday morning around 4 AM, Frodo and I woke up.  I jumped off the bed (where we dogs are not allowed to sleep) - and Frodo was standing on the alert  in the bedroom doorway.  We woke my human up - because when we move suddenly, it either signifies that someone is going to be sick - or we have heard something.  My human looked at us and we showed no signs of making the dreaded urky-gurky sound (that telltale sound that someone is going to be sick) and she heard nothing else unusual.  And we were not barking so it didn't appear whatever we heard was particularly ominous like a rabbit - or rustling leaves.   So she rolled over and went back to sleep.  Only to be awakened about a half hour later by something she heard this time herself.  Thunder.  

Now thankfully, neither of us is really afraid of thunder.  But apparently many dogs are.  And some say that we can detect thunder even before it happens due to changes in barometric pressure.  Perhaps that's what happened with us the other night.  For dogs who are afraid of thunder, there are a variety of ways that are supposed to relieve their fear including, desensitization training; playing competing sounds (like music) during a storm; allowing the dog to go to a safe, comfortable place, like a crate;  or using something called a Thundershirt.  The Thundershirt is a tight fitting wrap that is supposed to exert pressure on soft tissue, resulting in reduced anxiety.  Even the famous professor of animal science, Dr. Temple Grandin has done some research on the effectiveness of the Thundershirt.  There seems to be some evidence that use of the shirt combined with behavioral modification and use of medication, may reduce heart rate and anxiety.  More detailed outcome studies need to be carried out.

We don't have Thundershirts because we don't really need them - but my human wondered if wearing our lycra bodysuits would work similarly to exert pressure and cause a calming effect.  Unfortunately, I think those suits cause the OPPOSITE effect.  We want them to come off - so we go EXTRA crazy. 
  
 All this talk of thunder made me think of a new name for myself.  The God of Thunder was Thor.  I like that name.  I think I'll now go by Thor from now on.  It's easier than Balthazar and I like it better than Cocoa.  My human made me include this photo - she said it's perfect because it looks like I was hit by lightning.  Ha. Ha.  Humans sometimes think they are funny.  But remember, Thor always gets the last laugh...and the last rumble.

Have a good one - I hope your skies are sunny.  And quiet.

©  Linda Wozniak

How do you spell.....

So this week, the Scripps National Spelling Bee was held in the US.  For the third year in a row it ended in a tie.  Let me tell you - the kids who compete in this event are S-M-A-R-T.   I wonder though, if they ever  had to spell Xoloitzcuintli, the name of the Mexican hairless dog.  Really.  I bet that could be a tie-breaker word.

You know, we dogs can learn to spell.  Really.  Some people think we just learn patterns of sounds - but honestly, we DO learn words like T-R-E-A-T and W-A-L-K.   I couldn't find any scientific experiments showing that we can spell - so I want my human to start one.  Because she has SO much time on her hands.  If there IS a study going on, I want Velcro dog to be enrolled.  He's pretty smart - so he would be an excellent subject.

I'm not a great speller myself.   See if you can figure out my dog breed spelling errors:
1.  Chiwawa
2.  Labradoor
3.  Peekinknees
4.  Dashhound
5.  Shit-zoo

The CORRECT spellings are:
1.  CHIHUAHUA
2.  LABRADOR
3.  PEKINGESE
4.  DACHSHUND
5.  SHIH TZU

It's the weekend and we are looking forward to lots of human time.  A good friend of OURS arrived the other day - and he will be hanging out with us for the summer.  My human thinks he comes to visit her - but we know he REALLY comes to visit us.  And of course, I am his favorite.  Or I think I am.  It's cool - we have him VERY well trained.  We just stare at him and he gives us treats.  All the time.   ALL the time.  Hmmmmm.....  How do you spell the word M-A-N-I-P-U-L-A-T-E? 

Have a great weekend!

©  Linda Wozniak

GOOD news. For a change.

So for a change - I have a GOOD news story.  And it happened right here in Nova Scotia.

The other night, a Labrador Retriever by the name of Marley, disappeared from the backyard of her home.  If having a lost dog isn't bad enough - the family was extra distraught because Marley is the service dog for one very sick little boy.  The boy has a rare brain disorder, and Marley helps to warn the family if he is having seizures or other medical emergencies.  

When Marley went missing, the community went into full alert trying to find her.  Even the police, who don't generally search for lost dogs, were out looking for Marley - using thermal detection equipment to look for her at night.

The GREAT news - she was found the next day and was returned to her home!   

My human warned me that the community response if I were to go missing would NOT be the same.  She told me I had better NOT get any wild ideas. And let's face it - if I saw the police coming after me, I would keep on running.

In other good news, the Drama King is doing FINE.  F-I-N-E. Honestly, I think he just wanted to go for a drive.  It was raining, and we couldn't go for a walk - so his emergency clinic visit was a great way to get out of the house.  I must remember that idea.  Mind you - when I had my emergency with the porcupine encounter last fall, my human didn't take me to the hospital.  I allowed my human to remove them herself.  And I was very tough and stoic.  Hmmmmmmmm.  Perhaps that backfired.  Maybe it DOES pay to be a Drama King.....

Excuse me while I go and squeak.  For no real reason.....

Have a good one!  It's FRIDAY!!!!!


©  Linda Wozniak

I am SO angry

Oh my gosh.   I am rarely angry but I saw something on the Internet the other day that left me steaming. Again.   As I recall, this isn't the first time I have seen this.  It was a list of the 25 Least Popular Dog Breeds.  And get this - PONs ranked #21 - right between the Komondor and the Norwegian Buhund.  Seriously.  And the reasons why we are undesirable?  We require too much grooming, we are hard to train and we require too much exercise for apartment living.  OK.  I get the grooming thing.  But hello?   Poodles never made the list.  And as for training - show me what to do, and I will NOT forget.  Especially if you give me treats.  My human is embarrassed about how easy it is to train us.  Well at least Velcro dog.  She doesn't have to do things over and over again.  He gets it.  And as for exercise and apartment living.  First off, we are not exactly the size of a Mastiff.  Who didn't make the list by the way.    And who says everyone in the world lives in an apartment anyway?!

I honestly think the reason we are not popular is because we are smarter than a the average human.  And  definitely smarter than the person who made up the list!   And some humans just can't take smart dogs.  They like easy, simple, low-key dogs.  And let's face it - life with a PON is far from low-key.  But that is what makes life with us so rewarding.  And interesting.  PON owners are a truly remarkable subset of the human race- and if you are owned by a PON- you know just how special you are!  I bet the person who wrote that list was a goldfish owner.  Seriously.  Some humans...

© Linda Wozniak

Emergency Room Visit.

Frodo is a Drama King.  That's his new title.

Sunday night my human was talking on the phone and she noticed Velcro dog scratching at his ear.  A lot.  And squeaking.  So my human got off the phone, whisked him onto the grooming/ aka examination table.  She checked his ear and it wasn't goopy but it was really red. Perhaps from a bug bite.  Or a big furry bug licking him.  

She put some ointment on his ear and went to call back her friend.  And Velcro dog started scratching again.  And squeaking.  My human hung up again and went back into the surgical ward to put more ointment on.  But Velcro dog kept squeaking.  So there was only one solution.  Off to the emergency clinic.  Or should I say the canine casino.  You never know how long you'll be there and the cost is truly a gamble.  It takes about 20 minutes to drive there and it was pouring rain.  Of course, Velcro dog never once scratched on the way there- which made my human wonder if the visit was really necessary.  But she knew she didn't have the best drops for a sore ear so she figured since they were on the way, they might as well go.  Remember, Velcro dog is a Drama King when it comes to discomfort.  I mean when he is brushed he sounds at times like he is having his teeth pulled out. 

Once there,  Velcro dog acted like a Drama King while waiting for the Vet.  It's not like he's ever even been to the emergency clinic, but he squeaked and panted. For awhile.  But he also managed to pose for photos, because my human had treats.  They were finally seen after about an hour and a half wait- and the Vet said maybe it was from a bug bite. Because the inside of his ear was fine- it was just the outer part that was red. Perhaps it COULD be from a large bug.  A furry one.

Velcro dog was VERY good for the Vet.  She had treats.  She instantly became his friend for life.  So 5  minutes later they were on their way home.  With a bill for just over $200.  And the Drama King never scratched ONCE on the way home.  And the drops hadn't even been put in his ear yet...

I was happy to see them when they came home - and I wasn't as traumatized as the last time they left me.  But I was happy and to show my excitement for their return, I went to lick Velcro dogs ears...And for SOME reason, my human emphatically shouted "STOP!!!!"   Talk about being dramatic.   I know where Frodo gets it from...

©  Linda Wozniak

Climbing...

May 24.  On this day in 2001, Sherpa Temba Tsheri, at age 15 became the youngest person to ever scale Mount Everest.  Which got me thinking...has a dog ever made it to the top?

It seems in 2013, there were news reports that a dog by the name of Rupee, made it to the top of the world's highest summit.  BUT - on closer study, it seems that Rupee, who was rescued from life as a stray in India, made it to the BASE camp of Everest.  Not that climbing to the base camp isn't remarkable, but let's face it - it's not the same as hitting the summit.  Rupee's owner took him to raise awareness about rescuing strays - and Rupee even had his own assistant in the event that he found the climb to base camp a bit too much.

There are reports of stray dogs reaching the base camp on their own - and also following climbers part way up to the summit.  Those are pretty tough dogs.  I am trying to convince my human that we should try it. JUST kidding.  She cycled 50 KM the other day and the next day we never heard the END of her complaining about her aches and pains.  So I'm thinking Everest is NOT on the Bucket List.  Perhaps we could start with the highest mountain here in Nova Scotia - The Pinnacle which is 1533 ft in elevation.  It ranks as the 9974th highest peak on Canada.  A perfect place for us to start. And then Everest.  With an elevation of 29, 029 ft.  So that's the plan.  At least it's MY plan.  Dare to dream?  Right?  It's all about the journey....

Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak

Something is wrong with me. Not.

My human is worried that something is wrong with me.  Little does she know that my odd behavior is simply what one calls intermittent reinforcement.

Yesterday morning, we let her sleep in until 5:30.  And that was enough sleep as far as we were concerned.  Especially on a weekend. So just as we were getting ready to go out for our morning constitutional aka bunny hunt, my human got a text from our neighbor - Jackson's human.  Did we all want to go for a run/walk together?  Sure!  So off we went to meet Jackson.

I'm sure I've mentioned before that Jackson behaves.  Yes, he goes in EVERY puddle, pond, body of water he sees, but he's a Lab, and otherwise he is very well behaved.  So he gets to run free.  And Velcro dog got to run free.  But moi?  Well my human was hesitant as we KNOW I DO have a tendency, ON OCCASION, to go off exploring.  But my human decided to roll the dice and take a chance.  And here is where the intermittent reinforcement comes into play.  Not only did I NOT run off, I didn't want to leave her side.  It got to the point where she had to keep saying "Go - free - be free - go play." In fact, I was SO well behaved that she started to wonder if something was wrong with me.  But you see, it is all part of training.  You behave on one walk, and not only do you get extra treats, but the next time you go for a run, you are assured that you will be allowed off leash again.  Trust me- this is part of a bigger plan.  Training humans is SUCH great fun.

Have a super Monday!

Life is all about the chase.

So Velcro dog and I have new names.  Bird dogs.

The other night my human was in the house and Velcro dog had gone out on the deck.  Suddenly my human heard him bark.  And then he barked again.  And again.  Not the crazed, there is someone at the door bark but the bark that means he is drawing attention to something.  Usually he uses it if I am doing something bad.  It's kind of his tattle tale bark.  So my human went out on the deck to see what the commotion was.  And there was Velcro dog, standing and staring at the deck. And barking.  There was nothing ON the deck, so what was going on?  And THEN my human remembered. Last summer she found yours truly at the exact same spot on the deck.  Digging at the wood. Because just under the deck was a bird's nest. My human never removed it.  She figured the birds weren't hurting anything, besides driving me crazy.  Well clearly the family has returned to roost.  Or maybe the location of our place has been has been passed around in the bird community.  Anyway, Velcro dog has alerted my human to our guests. As long as we don't have to give them any of our biscuits, I'm fine with them staying.

In other nature news...well I KNOW you must be sick of hearing my bunny tales, but I really outdid myself the other night.   My human went to take us out for our pee before bedtime. She takes us out on leash - one at a time.  I got to go first while Velcro dog waited impatiently and threw in a bark or two to remind us that is was HIS turn next.  Well.  My human no sooner opened the door, and I smelled and heard the bunny.  I jerked the leash from my human's hand and I was off into the woods.  Unfortunately for me, the place I went into the woods was all evergreens.  Densely growing evergreens.  With tiny branches from bottom to top.  Just the kind of branches that catch a leash.  So I was stuck.  But is was dark out and my human couldn't see me.  She was NOT happy.  She went in the house for her trusty headlamp and a flashlight, and she let Vecdo dog out to see if he would help find me.  He just looked at my human and basically said "You can't be serious. You want ME to go in there and mess up MY coat?  I vote we let him stay there until daybreak."  So since he was not being the least bit helpful, my human put him back in the house and came back out to look for me.  She called me and called me.  But I didn't make a sound.  I KNEW I was in trouble.  After a few minutes of my human thrashing her way through the dense woods, she spotted the colour red on a tree limb.  Yup.  My leash . With me attached a few feet away.  She released me from my bondage and untangled the leash.  I sheepishly walked back to the house.

My human is not sure which is worse - bunny or fox obsession.  It seems that we must have fewer foxes around this year, because the bunnies are out in full force.  Not a day goes by that we don't see one. Or two.  But I must confess, I am starting to come to the conclusion that it is very difficult to catch one.  And even if I did, what would I do with him?   Mind you, life isn't about the end result, is it?  It's all about the chase!

Signing off from Wild Kingdom.  Have a great day!

Phone calls and beauty pageants

So last weekend, my human participated in something called a "phone seminar."  Basically, humans call a number and are able to listen to a presentation on a particular topic and they can ask questions.  And it is critical to keep your line on "mute" so the other participants can't hear your dogs barking at you while you are just sitting around.  I was hoping the topic would be "Baking for your dogs," or "How to build up your throwing arm."  But no.  It was on "Grooming your Polish Lowland Sheepdog."  Seriously.  It should have been called "How to torture defenseless animals without being arrested." Of ALL the topics on dogs, it HAD to be grooming?!  So of COURSE, my human got new ideas and found out about new instruments of torture, so you KNOW she is going to be looking for them on-line, and trying them out on us.  And if THAT wasn't bad enough, all that talk of fluff-ify-ing us inspired her to ENTER us in a BEAUTY PAGEANT in a few weeks.  Which is crazy.  Because the seminar included no information about how to make my self-trimmed back legs look good enough for a dog show.  Now THIS will be interesting.  I don't know if my human ASSUMES my hair will grow in 3 weeks, but I don't think hair extensions will really work.  Humans.

And if my human really plans to take us to a show, perhaps she should lay off the garlic tablets for a few days.  I mean if the judge gets a whiff of my breath, I don't stand a CHANCE of getting any 25 cent ribbons.  And really what makes this whole pageant thing crazy - I will be competing against Velcro dog.  And we all know that it's hard for me to beat him a beauty contest.  He wins for his coat alone.  Apparently there will ALSO be a girl dog there.  Now THAT will be interesting.  I'll have to see if I can impress her with my rugged, outdoorsy look.  If there is a prize for congeniality, I'll definitely get THAT.

Well today is Saturday, and we got my human up at 5.  No point in wasting the day.  We are just about to head out for our morning walk.  And then we will come home, have breakfast and multiple games of fetch.  I love weekends.  

Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak

A Norman Rockwell painting...

May 20.  On this day in 1916, the Saturday Evening Post paper featured it's first cover by a man by the name of Norman Rockwell.  Mr. Rockwell's art would eventually grace the cover 323 times.  His art depicted common, everyday life - and each painting could tell a story.  And the best part?  He had a HUGE affection for dogs - who frequently appeared in his paintings.  Some of my personal favorites include:

• "Breaking Home Ties" - the heartfelt painting of a boy who appears to be leaving home for school - with his hard-working father, sitting and waiting for the train.  He sits with his suitcase, and his sad looking collie type dog, is mournfully resting his head on the boy's knee...Awwwwww.
•  "Good friends" - the happy scene of a Boy Scout feeding a treasury of puppies
• "No Swimming" - the painting of three boys RACING from a spot that says "No swimming"with their trusty dog racing right along with them.
• "The Veterinarian" - the scene of a little boy holding his dog while the Vet examines him.

Rockwell had dogs himself, and they were frequently found lying next to him in his studio while he worked.  My human says THAT is why she will never be a famous artist like Rockwell - we don't lie next to her calmly - we HAVE to be on her lap.  It is difficult to paint that way... That's HER excuse.  we know she'll never be famous because she just can't paint! 

I wish Norman Rockwell could have painted a picture of me and Velcro dog. Just THINK of the stories he could have depicted with US!  The title of one would be "The bunny chase..."

Have a good one - IT'S FRIDAY!!!

©  Linda Wozniak

TIME to SHOP!!!!!!!!

May 19.  Today in 1848 the first department store in the US opened in New York City. It was called the Marble Dry Goods Palace and it was the largest department store in the world at that time.  I wonder if it had a pet department...

Today there are all kinds of stores that sell pet supplies - some large chains and of course, smaller individually operated businesses.  Once upon a time it was very common to see puppies sold in pet stores.  Thankfully, that practice has largely disappeared - and people understand where pet shop puppies come from.  If you want a purebred puppy - get it from a reputable breeder.  Or, if you prefer to adopt a forever friend, you can go to a shelter. And don't forget,  that most purebred dog clubs also have Rescue Committees - that help to re-home dogs.  But do NOT buy your puppy in a pet store.  Ever.  You might think you are helping that puppy - but you are just supporting puppy mills.  This is a topic I am passionate about!  

Back in 1848, if you wanted to buy something - you went to the store.  Today though, if you want to buy something, you can just sit down in front of your computer. And there is NO shortage of places to buy things for us dogs.  And my human has  sampled MANY of them.  Here are just a FEW of her favorites - and of course, MINE as well.  Except for the places where you get grooming supplies....

This place is in the US - but it ships anywhere.  It carries EVERYTHING.  Including the dreaded grooming supplies. 
www.petedge.com

Here is another place in the US that carries everything.  They also ship to MANY countries.  But I'm not sure about Mongolia...
www.ryanspet.com/

This place is in the UK.  For North Americans bored with the usual training dumbbells, they have some cool options.  My human has purchased from them before:
www.dogstuff.co.uk/index.html

This place carries dog apparel.  Frodo has the 1970's style Lycra bodysuit and I have the more stylish Gortex coat.
www.k9topcoat.com

Here is the site of the ONLY dog bed we have NOT destroyed:
kuranda.com/

If you are into dog agility or obedience, here is a site in the US that has lots of good training information and equipment. 
www.cleanrun.com

Want some games for us?  Here is the place in Sweden that my human...errr...Santa got us some toys:
www.nina-ottosson.com/

This is a German company that has lots of cool things - including some LOVELY collars and leashes.  Guess who got one from Crufts!?  Purple.  Leather elk leather.  I love it.  It looks like you may not be able to buy from them directly but if you Google their product name, you will find other places that carry them.
 www.hunter.de/en/our-collection/unterkategorien/ext/np/4/0/16261/Dog.html

As I said, this is just a TINY, TINY sampling of the sites that sell dog stuff.  Personally, I prefer to go in the pet stores myself, as I can grab something off the shelf and then my human HAS to buy it.  Mind you, being able to shop any time of the day or night using my human's iPawd is also convenient.  As long as the place we are shopping has treats - I'm OK with whatever. Now.  If I could JUST get my own credit card....

Happy shopping!

James Taylor. You just call out my name.... and I'll KEEP running....

Y

So last night my human went to a concert.  By some guy named James Taylor.  She was all excited.  But it was funny - when she told her grad students that she was going to see James Taylor, they didn't know who he was. It made my human feel old.  REALLY old.  And so it should.  She IS old.

Reportedly it was a great concert.  I wouldn't know. We were not invited.

I understand James Taylor is a very famous singer and songwriter.  He has won loads of awards.  And it seems he is a nice guy too.  You may have heard about the awful wildfires out west in Canada.  Well it seems Mr Taylor is performing two concerts out west in June and 100% of the profits will go to the community ravaged by the fire.   Very nice.

Jim had an album called One Man Dog, so I'm assuming he likes dogs.  I know he had a pug named Ting - and maybe he still does.  I heard he sang LOTS of his famous hit songs last night- and one that was written by his friend Carole King.  I call it the canine theme song.  You've Got a Friend.  REALLY.  I think it is all about dogs.  Mind you the part about "You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I'll come running..."  well that's true - unless I am chasing a bunny.

My human came home all happy and singing.  Of course we were happy to see her - but we could have done without the singing.  She certainly isn't going to be joining a choir any time soon.  But don't tell her I said so.

So the next time you listen to the words in that song - think of your dog.  And if don't know the song - Google it.  I think you'll like it!  And if you DO know the song, well...you're not THAT old.

Have a great day.

Traumatized. By swimmers.

May 17.  THE day to celebrate my human.  Is it her birthday?  No.  Is she retiring?  No.  Fat chance.  It's not Christmas.  Or World Pet Owner day.  It is....Pack Rat Day.   And she will be SO annoyed that I am saying this.  But let's face it, she IS a pack rat.  Now don't jump to conclusions that our house could be featured on the reality TV show "Hoarders" - it is NOT THAT bad.  But she does collect things.  I've talked about it before.  And I ALSO mentioned that she was on a Spring cleaning binge - and a selling spree.  And she HAS managed to get rid of some stuff.  The dog ramp for the car that none of us ever used, the automatic dog feeder - which would have been useless with me and Velcro dog if we ever managed to a hold of it, a leather carting harness...  Hey.  All of the stuff was dog stuff so far.  What's with THAT?  How about I go in the mystery closet and pick some things to sell.  See how she likes that!

And speaking of not liking things.  I was traumatized last night.  It was THE first time I EVER had to stay in the house by myself.  For an HOUR and a HALF.  Velcro dog had an appointment at the Vet and my human didn't want to take both of us.  So the question: would I be more happy waiting in the vehicle, or in the house?  She opted for the house.  You see, living in the three dog household has meant that no dog has ever been left behind.  Until last night - because we are no longer a three dog household.  Well I survived.  My human loaded three treat dispensing toys with food, and honestly, I didn't even CARE that they were leaving me.  But when they got home, I acted all sheepish. My human thought it was because I was nervous being alone.  Nope.  I was sheepish because I pooped on the stairs.   One could argue that I was nervous on my own, but honestly, I was just mad because they left me.  

I have NO idea why Velcro dog went to the Vet.  I heard something about good swimmers.  Velcro dog doesn't even LIKE the water so WHAT was going on?  All I know is that he came home with a smile on his face. And I was traumatized.  Or I pretended to be.

No Vet appointments for today.  THANK goodness.  I'm sure I'll get over this traumatic experience.  Just give me 15 more biscuits, and I'll forget it ever happened.  Maybe.

 Now.  When do I get to go swimming?

©  Linda Wozniak

Wanted. Dog sitter.

So.  I have a sore on my nose.  The question is - how did I get it?  Was it when I was roughhousing  with Velcro dog?  Or in my exuberance trying to chase the ball?  Or did I scrape it when I went on my short bunny chase?  It is kind of pink and raw - at least that's what my human tells me - I didn't look in the mirror.  And she can't really put any cream on it - I'll just lick it off.  It's a dilemma.  Good thing I'm not booked for any beauty pageants in the near future.

And speaking of the future - we have had some sad news.  Our wonderful dog sitter will no longer be able to look after us.  She has some health problems - and she's OK - but no more dog sitting for her.  My human hopes we didn't drive her over the edge.  Nah.  She loved us.  She was very sad when she heard about Paxton.  Anyway, we have to start looking for a new sitter.  Which will be no easy task.  I mean if anyone reads this blog - let's face it - they would not take the job! My human has no imminent trips planned - but we will have to start looking.  We have never been in a kennel.  Probably because my human fears that Pondini would be able to escape.  So for us - a sitter is REALLY the best option. I have my interview questions all written:

How do you feel about dogs sleeping on the bed with you?

Do you like bananas?  If yes, will you share them?
Do you allow dogs to lick your yogurt container?

How do you feel about going on 16 walks a day? ( OK, we don't really do that, but how will they know?)

Do you have a good throwing arm?

Do you mind incessant barking just before meal time? (That one is for Velcro dog).

Are you willing to provide extra food and treats when requested?

If you prefer NOT to groom dogs, that will be considered an asset. 

So we'll see who we can find.  My human says we will probably have to offer danger pay.  I say my human should just take us with her when she goes on trips.  Especially if she is going to a conference.  We could certainly provide entertainment during boring meetings.  Just another option.

Well excuse me while I start working on my ad for a sitter.  I just thought of another requirement - if they have a cat, they should bring it along....

Have a good one!

A horrid day. In my opinion.

We had a horrible Saturday.  OK - maybe in human terms it was far from horrible, but Velcro dog and I were NOT happy.  First off, it was RAINING when we went for our morning walk.  And we KNOW that we usually get an extra long walk on Saturdays - but no such luck in the rain.  And we are talking the dreaded raincoat rain.  My human had to haul Velcro dog out the door.

And then if THAT wasn't bad enough, my human decided that the house really needed cleaning - the full vacuum/dust/scrub the floors cleaning.  Seriously.  What's the point?   I say life is too short to vacuum - but humans are insistent. When a human goes on a cleaning binge, it is CRITICAL to follow her - actually walk in FRONT of her as she goes from room to room. Especially with the vacuum cleaner.  And stare at her mournfully.  

My human wondered when Paxton left us if cleaning would be different.  Let's face it - Bernese are walking shedding machines.  And while our house does have less dog hair, as we PONs don't shed - what she DID find yesterday was a whole assortment of "nature" souvenirs that Velcro dog and I brought inside.  Leaves, sticks, grass, mud, tiny stones - it's our collection! Some people collect stamps - we collect "nature."   And it's really not new - it was just hidden by the Bernese hair in the past.

So besides the mournful vacuum march, I also have a new little habit - which drives my human crazy.   I have decided that I LOVE lint from the dryer.  And I KNOW that I can always find some in the garbage can in the laundry room.  And I go in there causally, if my human is folding laundry.  And I slowly walk in, simply sniffing the floor, trying not to look conspicuous as I make my way to the garbage can.  But my human is on to me.  She watches me and as I quicken my pace as I reach the can, she yells "no."   I was caught yesterday.  

We DID play find the bunny indoors and we DID get lots of snuggles - so I guess in retrospect, the day wasn't THAT horrible.  But after a long work week, I think we deserve more attention than the vacuum cleaner.  Maybe Velcro dog and I will have to cut down on our collecting.  Or just get a puppy who sheds a lot....now there's an idea!   

Have a good one!

Ball vs bunny

So we know that I am OBSESSED with retrieving.  Balls, bumpers - anything that can be thrown.  I STARE at the garage door.  That's where all the toys are.  And of course the dog food as well.  But if truth be known, I would probably pick a toy over food.  And we KNOW how much I love my food.  But I am absolutely CRAZY when it comes to retrieving.  Velcro dog likes to retrieve too - but he would definitely pick food first.  No question.

But the question - what would I pick if given the choice between retrieving and chasing a bunny....

The other night, my human took us out in the yard to do some retrieving.  I was madly jumping around her and barking as we went in the backyard to play.  I could not WAIT to start.  And as we came around the corner of the house, WHAT did we see but a BUNNY!  There he was.  On OUR lawn. Well, that was it - Velcro dog and I BOTH ran after him.   But of course Velcro dog didn't want to crash through the woods, so he stopped.  But not me. I was barking like crazy, and running through the woods and my human figured that would be the END of the retrieving game.  She didn't know when I would return.  BUT, miracle of miracles, I came RIGHT back.  I mean I was ready to start the retrieving game within 30 seconds.  I let Mr. Bunny go off on his terrified not-so-merry way.  Had I known that the game was only going to last 10 minutes because my human was being eaten alive by the dreaded black flies who have made their unwelcome spring appearance, I might have kept chasing the bunny.  But I guess the point is - I DID choose the ball over the bunny.

So ball wins over food.  Ball wins over bunny.  FINALLY my human has figured out that if she wants me to behave, all she has to do is carry the ball with her.  All the time.  24 hours a day.  Let's see if I can train her to do that...

©  Linda Wozniak

The Chaos Room

So we are renaming one of the rooms in the house.  Some humans call it the bathroom, or the washroom, or the restroom or the loo!  I am renaming it the "chaos" room.  And not because chaos happens IN the room - but because it happens OUTSIDE the room when humans are in there.  At least in our house.

You see, when my human goes in there, to use the toilet (sorry for being blunt, but if you can talk about our daily peeing and pooping I think it's only fair to address human behavior), or to shower or to wash her hands, we find that it is THE perfect opportunity to DO something undesirable.  Chaos.  And we simply do it so our human will come out.  Faster.

For example,  when my human is in the chaos room:  

• It is the PERFECT time to lick and style Frodo's hair.  And I will do it right outside the chaos room door - so my human can be sure to hear me.  She cannot STAND when I do that so she must come out to stop me.
• Or - I will go in her walk-in closet.  The door doesn't quite latch - and it creaks when it opens.  We are not supposed to go in the closet as it holds a treasure trove of items...shoes, slippers, purses and assorted other things that don't fit in dresser drawers. Almost EVERY time my human is in the chaos room, I try to wander into the mystery closet.  And my human HEARS me go in, because of the creaky door.  At which point she shouts "Viktor get out of there."  She doesn't even need to see who it is.  She knows the "good dog" wouldn't wander in.
• It is also great fun to simply start barking when she is in the chaos room. For no reason.  It makes our human WONDER if someone is at the door.  The good dog is great at this.

And speaking of the good dog, he DID demonstrate some chaos the other night. Earlier in the evening we were playing with one of those incredibly expensive dog board games.  The ones my human...er...Santa brought for Christmas two years ago.   Dogs are supposed to figure out how to open little drawers to get  a treat.  We were playing - and I FINALLY figured out the two step version - you have to pull out a peg which THEN opens the treat drawer.  And of course you have to select the right drawer.  Frodo just scratches uncontrollably at the whole game board.  My human can't leave the pegs in for him - he has no patience.  Anyway, I was wonderful the other night.  I played great.  And after we were done, my human put the game with the other boring...er...exciting games on a side table in the bedroom.  

So as my human was getting ready for bed, and she was in the chaos room brushing her teeth, she heard a loud crash in the bedroom.  She rushed out to see what the commotion was.  The "good dog" THOUGHT there MIGHT be treats left over in the game board, so he pulled it and all the games came crashing down.  Score one for Velcro dog.

So I think we have been successful in renaming most of the rooms in the house:  the living room or Dog Free Zone is now known as the Dog Comfort Zone, the kitchen is the Canine Buffet, the garage or grooming room is called the Torture chamber and the bathroom is the Chaos room.  

And who says humans are in charge?

Have a good one.  I know I will!   It's Friday!

©  Linda Wozniak

Who needs sheep?!

So my human has decided that there is no point in getting sheep to graze our property.   Or goats.   Not that I could ever REALLY convince her to get them.  We are quite enough work.  Two PONs and my puppy.  Whoever he will be.  Can you tell I am not giving up on this puppy idea?  Anyway, back to the sheep.  The reason we don't need grazing animals is because we have two.  Me.  And Velcro dog.  What is it with us and fresh green grass growing down near the lake?   I think we got the idea from Paxton.  He used to gorge himself on the tall grass by the water.  And now Frodo and I are at it.  Big time.  We never attempt to eat the grass on the lawn.  JUST the wild grass by the lake.  Here's a shot of the two of us having some salad before dinner.  

My human calls us and calls us, and she finally just continues on the trail back to the house.  We wolf down (or should I say we sheep down) several mouthfuls and race back along the trail - to get our next course in the meal.  

Don't you just LOVE spring?!

 ©  Linda Wozniak

We stink. Seriously.

OK.  So in her desperate quest to keep us flea and tick-free without the use of chemicals, my human has made us human-free. Well not really human-free - but just a bit unappealing to humans.  Our breath stinks.  And why?  She started us on these dog garlic tablets that are supposed to repel ticks and fleas. No wonder.  They would repel just about any living organism, except perhaps a skunk.  We just started them recently so we'll let you know if they actually work on the insects.  Especially the dreaded ticks.  So far so good - but the season is early. 

I know she just wants us to be safe - but this stuff is potent.  Now I suppose she'll be on the hunt for some organic dog breath mints. And if it's not the garlic tablets, she sprays this all-natural stuff on us that makes us smell like walking citronella candles.  Honestly.  The stuff we must endure...

Have a good one.  Said the stinky dog.

©   Linda Wozniak

Training humans. There is hope.

This is a shout out to all you canines who think that humans are not trainable.  I present my evidence that with careful planning, and consistence, you CAN train a human.

Case in point.  When I started my blog, I wrote about the DFZ (Dog Free Zone).  The ONE room in the house that is "technically" off limits to us canines.  It houses the "good" furniture and an assortment of antique rugs.  And other old, non-chewable items.  A dog gate rests against the entry and it is sometimes secured with bungee cords.  Now here comes my technique to train humans to allow you access into dog-free zones.  If you persist at bugging your human while she is in the DFZ - by pacing around other rooms, attempting to knock down the gate - or simply by incessantly squeaking, she will eventually let you in.  This is perfect.  She has now let down her guard.  This is your first step in training. Take advantage of this situation - and BEHAVE.  No roughhousing and NO attempting to get on the furniture.  For now.  And eventually, after that, she will let down her guard even MORE and not ONLY will you be carelessly waltzing in to the DFZ- but you will find that the dog-free furniture is VERY comfy.  As you see in my photo.

With persistence, you can teach your human OTHER things as well. Humans set up "rules" BUT by using a sad face, and simply DOING the canine-desired behavior when the human is not present,  your training will usually work.  Remember the "rule" about "no dogs" on the bed?  Here is the evidence that we have not only been able to train her to allow us on the bed - but this is doubly remarkable - as you will see -Frodo is on the bed and is WET too.  After a walk.  In the rain.  And we have trained our human not to react to this behavior.  A simple throwing up of her hands and shaking her head is a perfect response. We have trained her well - although it HAS taken repeated attempts and trials.  And now, she is a pleasure to live with.

I will probably be putting these and other training tips into a manual for dogs.  The moral of the story - never think of abandoning a good human - and running away from home.  With persistence and love, they CAN be trained.  Never give up hope.  If OURS could be trained, ANY one can be trained.  Happy training and good luck!

©  Linda Wozniak

Someone is on a diet. Someone is on a diet.

Well it appears that SOMEONE in this house is going on a diet.  My human thinks that Velcro dog could take off a pound or two.  NOT that he is obese - by any means - but she noted while lifting him into the tub the other day, that he seemed to be a BIT heavier than normal. And I think we know why.  As you may recall, during the last week or so that Paxton was sick, he didn't have much of an appetite.  So my human was trying EVERYTHING and ANYTHING to get him to eat.  Our kitchen counter looked like a cross between a kitchen in a HUGE restaurant and a science lab - with a VARIETY of food items and supplements.  Not to mention that delicacy - the canned tripe.

Unfortunately, despite her best canine culinary skills, Paxton often refused her efforts.  So.  What to do with the leftovers?  Quite a bit was thrown out.  BUT - we PONs sometimes got a sample of the finished products.  I think that my metabolism must be higher than Frodo's - because I didn't gain weight - but he appears to be sporting just a BIT extra weight.  Kind of like my human - she's still paying for the Halloween leftovers...But don't say I mentioned it.

So how to get the weight off Velcro dog?  I think my human will try her old method - that worked brilliantly when she got her very first Bernese - and had to help him take off extra pounds.  Canned pumpkin.  NOT the pumpkin pie filling stuff.  Just PLAIN canned pumpkin.   By adding a few tablespoons to Frodo's food, and reducing his other calories JUST a bit, he will still feel full but it will help to get that weight down.  Better him than me.

Well it's Monday.  The start of a new week - and all new adventures.   And I hope yours is brilliant! And you don't need to add pumpkin to your food.  Have a great one!

©  Linda Wozniak

Happy Mother's Day!

May 8.  Today is a very special day in more than 75 countries around the world.  It is Mother's Day.  A day to celebrate mothers and motherhood. 

Frodo and I have the same mother (and father too!).  Here's a picture of our mother - doesn't Frodo look like her?!

In Frodo's treasury (remember I don't like using the word "litter" to describe a bunch of puppies.  We are NOT garbage!  I prefer a treasury of puppies.) - there were 6 puppies.  Here they are at about 2 weeks old:

And in MY treasury....drum roll...there were 10 puppies!  CAN YOU IMAGINE 10 PON PUPPIES?! Imagine the stampede to get to the milk bar all the time.  My poor mother.  Here we are at 2 weeks:

Mother dogs usually look after us puppies VERY closely the first few weeks.  I bet MY mother was VERY anxious for us puppies to be eating solid food.  And when we do that, we become more independent.  Unlike humans. Some of them NEVER become independent!  My human STILL depends on her 87 year old mother! Her mother is a special lady and as we know, I'm her favorite grand dog.  Or I like to think I am.

Today is a day to pamper moms and to think of those moms who may no longer be with us.  If it weren't for them, we wouldn't be here!  And all you dogs - don't forget to give your "human mom" a big lick today too.

So Happy Mother's Day to all moms - whether you are celebrating in your country today, or if you celebrate at another time. Thanks for ALL you do!

©  Linda Wozniak

Monkey see...

 So my human finds it fascinating how much we dogs learn from one another.  She was thinking about this a LOT in the past week, as we have been having a LOT of rain.  You see, when I was in my younger years (like when I was a year old), I didn't care at ALL about the rain.  Paxton didn't either - so I followed his lead.  But over the last two or so years, I have REALLY started to follow Frodo's lead.  Case in point...it was raining yesterday morning at 5AM when my human took us out for our morning walk.  Once upon a time, I would not have cared about the weather.  At all.  Frodo, on the other hand, as we know, despises the rain.  And now I have decided to TOTALLY follow HIS lead.  I mean TOTALLY.  My human found herself walking down a dark road, in the rain, with TWO shaggy canines towing WELL behind her.  It was like walking TWO forty lb bags of potatoes.  She actually had to laugh at one point - the sight is SO pitiful.  Someone should video the death march.  

And then when she gets home from work, and we run down our trail to the lake, if there are ANY puddles, we BOTH plot our route so to avoid them.  Frodo started this circuitous water hopping - and now I do it too!

I have also started to run and hide if I think that I am about to be groomed.  Now I NEVER used to avoid grooming - I mean all you have to do is lie there and you get treats - it's a pretty easy job.  But Mr. Grooming Drama King has taught me well - so now I hide when it's my turn.

My human is praying that I don't start Frodo's incessant morning singing routine.  Or his less-than-hospitable barking when he sees a neighbor.  She WOULD like me to follow some of his obedience heel work, but she figures that is not likely.  He's too slow for me.  And it is unlikely he will EVER follow ME in my bunny chasing routine - it would mean getting dirty and wet in the woods.  

So you humans - remember we dogs are NOT monkeys but we DO follow the adage - Monkey see, monkey do. And although we DO have our OWN personalities, we DO learn from one another.    Just IMAGINE what a new puppy would learn from me... It's actually a bit scary, isn't it?  But no - my human hasn't even decided on a puppy yet - but when we DO get one - just THINK - it will be a CLONE of me- behavior-wise!!!  

Now.  I just need to get my human moving on this puppy thing...And I wonder if the puppy will have his own blog...

©  Linda Wozniak



 

Viktor's Adventure Tours

May 6.  Today is National Tourist Appreciation Day.  And living in a place where we get LOTS of tourists – I can DEFINITELY send out thanks to all those people who come to visit Nova Scotia.  Here's a small sample of what tourists see:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTbJhNuCLR8

 And I invite others to come! I will be your tour guide.  Viktor’s Adventure Tours.  With a stop at the Viksonian.

So why come to Nova Scotia?  Well – we have Peggy’s Cove – a landmark fishing village with its iconic lighthouse, not a 30 minute drive from us!  Here I am at Peggy’s Cove:

Nova Scotia has so many lovely spots – from the farming area of the Valley, with its orchards and vineyards – to the ship building towns of the South Shore.  We also have the highest tides in the world.  And one of THE most picturesque drives in the world – the famous Cabot Trail.  Where mountains meet the sea. 

Nova Scotia means New Scotland in Latin – and we sure have lots of Scottish history and culture here.  Want to see some Highland Games?  We have them.  The games include something called the caber toss – which would be VERY hard for a dog to retrieve.  But still fun to watch!

Now if that isn’t enough reason to visit – we also have LOTS of dog shows and events.  Every month from February to November, there is a show going on somewhere in Nova Scotia!  http://www.canuckdogs.com/index.php?PageKey=b23395bf-4d4b-102d-aef9-80d29b930d88&RegionKey=e4c2e472-0b66-11df-b8b7-8ac0277f09ae

And of course, Nova Scotia has LOTS of beautiful parks and trails where you can walk your dog.  There are loads of dog friendly accommodations around the province too – you shouldn’t have trouble finding a place to stay. 

So have I convinced you to come and visit?  Remember, I’ll be here waiting.  And don't forget to bring the treats!  And if you contact the tourism people, remember to tell them that Viktor sent you.  Viktor the PON!

Have a happy Friday!

©  Linda Wozniak