YOU poop in the snow!

So Mother Nature played a really good joke on us with that snow yesterday.  It was wet snow.  Heavy snow.  And if there were humans who were not impressed with the white stuff, I can tell you - there was one Polish Lowland Sheepdog who was BEYOND unimpresssed...

Every day you humans take stock of our bodily functions - and you KNOW when we need to pee and poop.  And we have a pretty good routine in our house.  Every morning, we go out for our walk.  And every morning, we pee and poop.  Usually, my human takes both of us out at the same time in the morning, but if the weather is not nice, we get the "one at a time" instruction at the door.  Which usually means a shorter walk.  So yesterday, when my human saw the snow, and the fact that the plow guy hadn't come, she decided we would go for walks on our property.  One at a time.  With Velcro dog first.  My human should have KNOWN it was going to be a bad walk when Velcro dog put the brakes on when he walked out the door.  You see, wet snow equals sticky snow which equals snow balls.  On our feet.  And Velcro dog KNOWS that.  My human coaxed him onto the lawn and told him to "hurry up" - which is the instruction to poop.  Velcro dog just stood there.  So my human walked him into the backyard.  And she told Velcro dog to "hurry up."  He stood and looked at her.  So they walked down our trail.  Well, I should say my human walked and Velcro dog trudged down our trail.  And my human now PLEADED, "hurry up."  And Velcro dog LOOKED like he was about to poop and then decided not to.  He couldn't.  Seriously.  His feet were wet.  So they walked a bit further.  At which point snowballs were starting to form on Velcro dog's feet.  So my human broke them up.  And she told Velcro dog to "hurry up."  He looked at her as if to say - YOU try and poop when your feet are wet and weigh 100 lbs.  So they trudged on, stopping every few feet to break up the snowballs.  FINALLY, after 45 minutes of walking, breaking up snowballs and continual pleading by my human, my human was pooped out (pun intended) and she conceded defeat.  And Velcro dog trotted happily back to the house with 100 lb feet.  Little did he know, that NOW he had to go in a warm tub to remove the giant snowballs.  

Then it was MY turn.  I had watched some of the antics of Velcro dog out the back window- and although I don't really dislike wet snow like he does, I figured my human would REALLY appreciate it if I pooped quickly.  So I did.  Score one for the bad dog.  I was showered with treats and praise.  You would have thought I just won some big obedience championship.  Or the lottery.

Today the forecast is calling for temperatures above freezing.  And no signs of snow in the long range forecast.  So this PONcast is for a warm spring ahead - and a return to a positive poop routine.  Unless of course, it rains....

©  Linda Wozniak