Better than fiction

Sometimes my human thinks that if they did a movie about a "Day in our lives" no one would believe it.  They would say it was pure fiction.  Hardly.  Here's an example:

My human gets up at 5 AM.  She takes Jaws out as he needs to be first.  Puppy bladders are smaller than adult dog bladders.  While she does this, Frodo begins his "Good morning song."  And I join in.  

My human was concerned because she didn't like the side effects of the drug I am taking for my seizures.  It is causing me to be very wobbly in my rear end.  VERY wobbly.  Of course, she had already Googled this - AND had called the 24 hour vet clinic the night before to check on this fact - and they said it was "normal".  And it will get better in a week or two.  But she's not happy with "normal" so she wants to talk with someone about it ASAP. 

After she brings Jaws in, he immediately begins his hair stylist routine on Saint Frodo.  Pulling, biting, chewing - while Frodo intermittently tells him to stop.  My human readies our breakfasts and we dive in, giving her a chance to fill our water bowl and turn on her much needed coffee.  After we inhale our food, she takes Jaws out for his poop walk.  He complies quickly - although he does have a unique poop style.  Pardon my graphic description, but he's the kind of dog who likes to leave a poop trail.  He's too busy sniffing and looking around to stand still and leave a pile which is easy to pick up.  After he leaves his poop path, she takes him out to the road to get the paper.  Ah - but it is garbage day.  And there are garbage cans on the road.  And it is still dark out.  So garbage cans on a dark road are scary to a puppy.  Never mind that HE accompanied my human when she took the cans up last night.  He is QUITE anxious to go BACK down the driveway to the house - so for a change - quickly grabs the paper and never stops to chew it.  He just wants to be away from the ominous garbage.

Jaws is then sequestered in a run in the garage which is filled with an assortment of toys that dispense treats - while she takes Frodo and I for our walk.  She wants him occupied so he doesn't whine and bark while we are gone, waking all the neighbors within a 5km radius.  As IF the neighbors haven't already heard Frodo's "Good morning" song.  

We walk up the road in the dark, with my human wearing her head lamp.  It's hard to believe we are back to head lamp time - where did bright summer mornings go?  Anyway, I am not feeling like myself on this medication - so I am walking like a sack of potatoes.  A wet sack of potatoes.  Which concerns my human to no end - she is anxious to get home and call the clinic before she gives me another dose of this stuff.

We get home and she calls the 24 hour vet clinic and speaks to a nice vet who listens to my whole story. While she is telling the story, Jaws and Velcro dog decide is vocal play time - so they start barking at each other.  She excuses herself from the call and puts Jaws in a crate.  As IF that will stop the barking.  The vet agrees to look at my dosage level, and she will call back in 10 minutes.  Enough time to give us our banana treats.  Jaws plays with his, while Frodo and I inhale ours.  

The vet calls back and gives my human an alternative dosage level -  lower than I am on.  NOT that I am on a high dosage - but she has changed it to a very low level.  We'll see if this works. My human is still going to talk to the vet who prescribed it later today.

So remember that the water bowl is freshly filled.  Well, it's about time for our Michael Phelps wannabe to attempt a swim.  My human watches from across the room as Jaws takes a drink, stops, looks at the water in the bowl and then furiously begins to do the doggie paddle - splashing water everywhere.  "No" she shouts.  He just looks at her and dives back in.  She takes him by the collar and gives him a chew toy on the other side of the room - to occupy him while she cleans up the flood.  She grabs some paper towel and reaches for the puddle.  And from across the room comes one charging puppy who MUST get that paper towel.  She wrestles with him and he tears off a piece to savor under the dining room table.  I actually take a piece that he drops.

My human sits down to have her coffee and look at the paper.  At which point, yours truly decides I MUST have those few pieces of kibble that I KNOW are in the pocket of her ugly dog sweat pants.  The pants have only ONE pocket - as Frodo ate the other one.  She tells me "no."  I poke her again.  She says "no buddy - you had your breakfast."  I poke her again.  After about 6 pokes she says "I give up." She rips off the sweat pants, puts them in the bedroom and proceeds to eat her breakfast sitting in her underwear.  She looks at the clock.  It's not even 6:30.  And for SOME odd reason, she feels like she wants to go back to bed.  Honestly, the woman has no stamina.

And that's just how a typical day BEGINS...  I tell you - this is better than fiction.