Dear Santa.
Time is running out and you will soon be here. We are almost ready for your arrival - my human has purchased the turkey and she just ordered some kind of fancy Yule Log from the bakery. It's a bit of a tradition here.
In this section, I would like to outline my requests for everyone ELSE in the household. I'll get to my personal requests in the end. My human wanted to dictate the requests - including mine. I think that it is interesting that when parents help their kids write their letters to you, parents suggest certain items. And there seems to be a direct co-relation with what you bring. You must work closely with parents...
Anyway - here are MY requests for everyone else:
Frodo:
1. A recording contract. Might as well put those vocal cords to good use. He is particularly enjoying singing along with my human to Christmas carols. Perhaps that could be his first album...
2. A bungee cord cutter. Would make it easier on his teeth.
3. Ear muffs. To protect his ears from all the licking that I do to them. And actually, the FG does too.
4. Tail protector. To protect his tail from the FG. I'm not sure what it would look like - maybe a sock-type thing. You'll think of something.
5. Treats. He lives for them.
6. A step stool so he wouldn't have to do a balancing act while trying to counter surf.
7. A bigger dinner dish. For larger portions.
Elroy:
1. Balls. Lots and lots of balls.
2. His own carpet. So he can do whatever he wants with it - and he'll leave my human's carpet alone. (see my requests for my human).
3. More chew toys. Although his insatiable chewing has slowed down - he still does get spurts where the legs to the table look appetizing.
4. More treat dispensing toys. He uses 6 different versions but might as well add to his collection.
5. Boots. That's a must.
6. Treats. It should be on every dog's list.
7. Obedience classes. No need to elaborate...
My human:
1. Pharmaceuticals. She needs them because of us... stomach medicine, migraine pills. Might as well stock her up.
2. Alcohol. Yes - we sometimes drive her to drink. Wine is number one here.
3. A new carpet for the dining room. The FG has created his own "hole" pattern by pulling out circular spots in various places. Time for a new one.
4. French doors to the DFZ. So she can take down the unsightly gate and bungee cords. It will be great fun to remove our olfactory art from the glass panes...
5. GPS tracking collars for each of us. So she can keep track of us whenever we go out.
6. One of those poop vacuum things. Or some other device. So her fingers won't freeze.
7. A tripod for her iPhone. Since she takes SO many photos of us, she might as well try to get IN some of them with us. Now wouldn't THAT be a circus...
In my last section, I'll outline my requests for ME....
Stay tuned....
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