Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The scoop. On poop.


Our topic today is…poop.  OK.  What is it with you humans and your obsession with poop?  I mean, seriously – you take us out to poop, you make sure we poop, you look at our poop, you even PICK UP our poop.  Yet another indicator that we canines are smarter than humans.  You don’t see us doing that for YOU, do you?!

Pooping, like barking and retrieving is a very individual thing.  We live on a dead end country road.  When we go for a walk, we all have different pooping routines.  I walk along the side of the road.  Quickly.  And then, I will, without warning or slowing down, suddenly stop and poop.  Simple. 

Paxton likes to go down into the ditch – or off in the woods.  And he is what my human calls her “Power Pooper”.  All she has to do is say “Hurry up” and Paxton will go.  Immediately.  I can’t figure out how the guy does it.  That’s control.

And then we have Conrad, er Frodo.  Frodo does everything with flair and drama.  Frodo walks slowly….very slowly – in the middle of the road or a path – and poops right smack dab in the MIDDLE.  And if he is on a path – and there is a rock in the middle of the path, he is sure to go right on the rock. Right ON the rock.  He takes the concept of “leaving monuments” to a whole new level.

And then there is the whole poop bag thing.  You humans pick up our poop so it can go into a landfill site in plastic bags that won’t break down for like 1 million years.  If ya just left it there – it would disappear!  Oh – but my human gets those flimsy “biodegradable” bags.  We haven’t yet tried to see if they DO break down.  We can only hope so.  The challenge is that those bags come as “one size fits all” .  Bwhahahahahaha.  Did you ever see Paxton’s poop?  You need a GARBAGE bag to pick up that stuff.  A HEFTY garbage bag.

OK, so that’s my scoop on poop.  I think I have covered enough on the topic for today - especially if you are reading this at breakfast.  Have a good one!


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