The Dog Show. Part 3. "Behind the scenes"

I know everyone was awaiting my dog show results and I shared them yesterday.  I won. Velcro dog won.  All was right with the world.  And it WAS a good day...but there were some "behind the scenes" details that I left out. So allow me to share them today...

So we know how my human agonized over grooming us.  All day Saturday.  And on Sunday, she made us wear  ridiculous suits to keep us clean while out on our morning walk.  We didn't get to walk the trail - for fear our FEET would get muddy.  Here I am - looking less than impressed.

She had boots ready for us too - but both of us gave her SUCH a look when she put the coats on that she didn't DARE attempt to put the boots on.  After our walk she still insisted on fluffing and puffing us on the grooming table AGAIN before we left for the show.  

We KNEW something was up - and we couldn't WAIT to get in the vehicle.  But BIG mistake.  My human took me out first and told me to go and pee, before I could get in my crate.  Big BIG mistake.  In my over-exuberance about getting in the car,  I RACED around in circles on the front lawn.  The wet front lawn.  Which now made my overly-groomed feet turn green.   My human attempted to kick herself for letting me off leash.  

When we arrived at the show, we had to wait until my human unloaded the vehicle.  Honestly.  The STUFF  she takes.  There were numerous bags of heaven knows what, a grooming table on wheels that weighs 400 lbs, a special box filled with the instruments of torture (aka grooming tools), a change of clothing for her (including an extra pair of shoes - I guess in case she wore the first pair out), 32 different leashes and collars (in the event that 30 of them broke, I guess) and a soft-sided crate.  

On our way into the arena, who did we see but our treasurer?!!!!  Some would call her our breeder, but since I don't like the term "litter" of puppies, and I call them a treasury of puppies, I call her our treasurer.  It has been a long time since I have seen her, but I practically did back flips when I realized who it was.  She thought we both looked great.

When we went into the arena, our heads exploded.  Unlike humans who socialize at these events, we dogs are not REALLY allowed to socialize.  And peeing on every vertical surface once we are IN the building is frowned upon.  We found the real estate that had been claimed for us earlier in the day by Auntie Glenda - and there was our soft-sided crate.  All set up.  Velcro dog knows the drill at these beauty pageants and he SAW the grooming table so he immediately made a beeline for the crate.  Which meant I would be the first victim.  Which as I mentioned yesterday, was quite necessary.  Especially with my lovely emerald feet.  When Velcro dog went in the crate, my human went to zip him in.  And she immediately broke the zipper on the crate door.  Seriously.  If I could make a business selling broken soft-sided crates, I would be one rich dog.  So now with the entry no longer secure, my human had to keep her eye on Velcro dog while I was undergoing torture.  And Velcro dog was good - UNTIL he saw the bag where the treats were held.   Sure.  TRY and keep him in  a crate when he KNOWS there is food.  Did he want to escape and see other dogs?  No.  Did he want to get out of the building?  No.  Did he WANT THOSE TREATS?!  YES!!!!!  My human had to practically stand on the bag to keep him away from them.

About an hour before our debut, my human decided to take each of us out for a pee.  And in her mind, a poop as well.  Seems she still has nightmares about the first time Frodo was in a Group ring and he pooped.  So now she BEGS us to poop BEFORE we go in the ring.  We both obliged.  And remember this was AFTER we were completely groomed.  Unfortunately...not only did I poop, but unbeknownst to me,  I had some cling-ons on my fluffy clean butt.  So BACK on the grooming table.  And out came the dryer.  Again.  And a fluffy clean butt.  Again. 

And lastly, did I mention how NERVOUS my human gets at these things?!  Honestly.  The woman can do a speech in front of 500 people, can do a live TV or radio interview, and totally freaks out running around in a circle for 24.6 seconds with one of us on a leash.  Frodo just stares at her as if she is someone he doesn't know.  And that's part of the reason she doesn't take ME in the ring - two crazy beings attached to the same piece of leather would NOT be good.  On the other hand...it COULD be entertaining.

After our debut in the ring was over, we saw two competitors get into a big argument.  Not the dogs.  The humans.  Something about someone not giving the other person enough space in the ring.  Really?   It was like watching a political debate.  Holy moly, humans really ARE weird.  

So those are some of the "behind the scenes" adventures at the show.  And to think some people do this almost every weekend!  Heaven help them.  I wonder if cat shows are equally exciting....

©  Linda Wozniak