Monday, March 18, 2019

Awkward moments.




According to the crazy calendar, March 18 is Awkward Moments Day.  A day to laugh at those strange things that happen (in day to day life) and let them go.  For example, walking us two PONs down the road and encountering other walkers (most likely neighbors) is ALWAYS an awkward moment.  Like last week...

It was a nice day so my human decided that we should go for a walk.  Or should I say WE decided that we should go for a walk.  Another walk.  We are still ensuring that my human gets lots of exercise.

The FG did his first and then it was time for me and Einstein.  We marched up our long driveway, and my human hesitated a bit as we neared the road , because she heard voices.  And so did Einstein.  Before I continue I should let you know that Einstein is the self-appointed guardian of the road.  Oh.  And he owns it.  The WHOLE road.  Not just our property.  EVERY property on the road.  And in his role as self-appointed guardian, he must announce his presence whenever he sees ANYONE.  Well anyone except Pig Pen and his humans.  He’s used to them.  And they carry treats.  So announcements are not necessary.  Begging is.

Anyway, Einstein heard the voices and assumed his “puffed up” trot.  He literally tries to make himself look bigger.  I just keep on walking silently.  

Up the road is a very nice family - which includes Mom and Dad, two year-old twin boys and their 5 year old big sister.  Dad and the two boys were out at the end of their driveway surveying the snow situation.  The boys had their own little shovel. Of course as SOON as Einstein spotted them, the barking began.  The typical “awkward” moment where my human laughs and says “oh he’s just saying hello” yet a slew of other words - directed at Einstein,  are pouring through her brain like Niagara Falls.  You can also see the stunned, cautious faces of the two sweet boys and Dad as the incessant canine rant continues. 

My human tries to carry on an awkward conversation from across the road - shouting over Einstein’s rant.  My human knows that if we would just go up to the kids and Dad, that the rant would stop.  But she can also see the understandable concern in their eyes.  So she moves up two feet at a time and stops, attempting to carry on a conversation- but not really sure what she is saying because she’s monitoring the approach.  And Einstein is being quiet. On and off.  As we juuuuuust about make it across the street, the boys’ sister comes down the driveway, setting the rant machine back on high volume and steady speed.  By now we have made our way across the street. Luckily big sister is totally interested in the two shaggy beasts and not the least bit worried.  My human gives her a kibble and tells her to open her hand wide, to give it to the rant machine.  Einstein immediately stops barking and gently takes the treat.  He decides that these three kids are fine, but he’s actually a tad bit shy of Dad, but thankfully doesn’t begin his barking.  Meanwhile I was quietly walking around and observing, being neither sociable nor worried.  I was just basically hanging out. FINALLY my human could carry on a conversation.

No sooner does everything settle down than Einstein spots another neighbor and a friend out for a walk- approaching our direction.  She warns the family that the rant machine is about to again begin and as if on cue, Einstein starts up again.  This neighbor is used to Einstein so they just march right up to Cujo and say “hey buddy, how’s it going?”  His puffiness deflated and he just started wagging his tail.  I went over and followed his lead.

My human thinks she is just going to buy everybody on the road a box of biscuits.  Maybe it will curb the guardian rant.  Then again, he may be more likely to take off and go to visit all the neighbors if he thinks they have food.  He’s no fool.

So awkward moments abound around here- if it’s not the guardian alert system, it the crazy Picard who, if allowed would use humans as a springboard.  I provide the least awkward moments of all three of us.  Unless you happen to leave me with the neighbors’ pillowcases....

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 36

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