Friday, March 22, 2019

WORK






Well we are VERY unhappy campers in this house.  Come to think of it, we haven’t actually ever been camping.  I mean can you IMAGINE the three of us and my human in a tent?  Just the thought.  We need our own reality TV show - and that would make an excellent episode.

But I digress.  We are bummed out because my human is going to WORK this morning.  She is “filling in” for someone who is away.  So that means we won’t get our 34 walks today.  Or all the extra treats that are doled out throughout the day.  

My human is very much enjoying retirement- but she was looking forward to a relaxing morning at the office.  She continues to argue that we are more work than work some days.  OK. Almost every day. Alright-  EVERY DAY.  

She has decided that we need to change our daily agenda.  Currently, she takes the FG for his walk first in the morning.  But it is problematic for two reasons.  First off, Einstein barks pretty much non-stop while they are gone.  His rant goes something like this: “Hurry up.  I’m hungry.  We finished the treats you left.  Did you hear me?  We finished the treats.  I want my breakfast.  I need to pee too you know. I’m hungry.  Viktor ate the last treat.  I am going to countersuurf.  Really I am.  Here I go.... Hurry up.  I’m hungry.  How far are you walking him? I hope nothing has happened to you.  Because when will I get my breakfast if anything happened.  I’m hungry.  Surely you didn’t let him off leash did you?  Are you walking with Pig Pen?  I’m hungry.  We finished the treats.  Did you hear me? We’re all done.  You can come back now.  Hurry up.”  

And so it goes.  Every day.  That is the first problem.  Then we have the FG.  He goes for a nice walk.  Probably around 45 minutes.  While the PON rant is going on.  He comes back and sees us going for our walk.  And of course he wants to go again.  My human explains that it is our turn to go.  Well.  It is like you just took away his best toy.  He sulks.  Really. He sulks.  My human has never had a dog who was such a sulker.  If there is such a word.  She puts treats on the floor and 9 days out of 10, he refuses to touch them.  And the worst part- he is STILL sulking when we come back.  

Of course, when we come back we are RARING to get in the door because we KNOW those treats that the FG didn’t eat are on the floor. We have to sit and wait while my human opens the door.  When she says “free” we explode in the door like we haven’t eaten in an hour.  We are PONs.  It is who we are.

Meanwhile the FG is pouting.  He is so temperamental.  He keeps the pout on for at least a half hour after we return. 

To stop the rant and the extended pout face, my human is thinking about switching things so we PONs go first on the walk.  I have NO idea if this will change anything- but we’ll let her think she is making a brilliant decision.  

Rumor has it that she will actually be working FULL TIME for a few weeks in April and May.  After that, she is done done with work.  The ONLY reason we are allowing her this current stint is because she promised extra special treats.  Seriously.  She did.

Well, back to sleep - er....I mean guard duty.  She’ll be home before we know it - and then we can take her for her walks.

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days:  40!

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