Barking...

Today, let’s talk about barking.  Humans talk.  And so do we.

A quick search of the internet reveals that dogs have a variety of barks for a variety of things.  No doubt a number of people have done PhD dissertations on the topic and spent years researching dogs.  All they needed to do was spend one day at our house and we could have saved them a whole lot of time.  And grant funding.

We have a variety of barks – as do all dogs – but what is key is WHEN we use each bark.  For example, Frodo has an incessant BrrrrrrrARK. … BrrrrrrARK…..  BrrrrrARK that he uses for a variety of things.  The first thing every morning, while my human is putting in her contact lenses - so she can see to take us on our walk – Frodo will stand outside the bathroom door and BrrrrrrARK.  To which my human will reply from within the bathroom  “Frodo BE quiet.”  Which of course he doesn’t.  She comes out and he stops and then she goes to get our food – which is stored in the garage.  As soon as she closes the garage door to get the food, Frodo starts again.  To which my human will reply from within the garage  “Frodo BE quiet.”  Which of course he doesn’t.  Sometimes she will stand on the other side of the door and wait for him to bark and throws the door open to surprise him and tells him to be quiet.  He does.  For a second.  Until she goes back in the garage.  Then he waits until he is SURE she isn’t standing on the other side of the door, and starts the BrrrrARK again.

Another kind of bark is the BARK-BARK-BARK-BARK-BAAAAAAAARRRRRK that we all do in unison to signal an intruder.  A delivery man.  The neighbor’s grandkids selling raffle tickets for school.  Friends of my human.  Rabbits.  This bark is also particularly interesting to use either at 2:30 in the morning or as soon as we hear our human step into the shower – for no REAL reason. 

Paxton also has an interesting WOOF.  WOOF.  WOOF.  He does it to get attention – and for a big guy, he does it pretty quietly.  At least that’s how it starts.  It begins with a tiny woof and proceeds to a bigger WOOF if my human doesn’t pay attention. 

As for me – well I have a crazy bark when I’m let out with the guys for a run.  It’s a borderline LOUD yappy bark in which I am telling them that if they were sheep, I would be telling them where to go.  It is also incessant.  Although, IF my human brings out the artillery (a squirt gun) I CAN control myself.

We probably have other barks – but those are the barks we use the most.  Now if there are any PhD students out there who need subjects, just give me a call.  And we’ll talk.

©  2014  Linda Wozniak