Rules...

Today’s topic will be rules.  Humans seem to be full of them.  No begging at the table.  No jumping on people.  No racing up and down the stairs.  When humans are on them.  Clinging to the banister.  No stealing off the counters.  No chasing the neighbor’s grandkids in circles. No chewing the carpet.  Or each other’s ears.  No sleeping on the bed…

But there are several things that come into play with rules:  

1.  We canines are more clever than humans give us credit for.  

2.  Rules are meant to be broken.

Since there are three of us boys in the household – and Paxton is so big he could almost count for two dogs…Mom says we can’t sleep on the bed.  But I have two ways around this “rule.”  Option number one is to play dead.  Sneak up on the bed when your human is not in the room – like I did the other night while Mom was brushing her teeth before bed.  And I got all comfy, cozy on the bed – in fact – here I am.

 

Then when Mom came in, I played dead.  She said I should get down.  I didn’t move.  She said “Viiiiiiiiiiiiktor” in that tone that means,  Viktor you NEED to get down.  I didn’t move.  And she then said it again, a little more loudly. I didn’t move.  So then she tried to pick me up.  And I didn’t move.  And I let myself go totally limp. Unfortunately, the dead routine did not succeed because she DID lift me up and put me on the floor.  Frodo just looked at me and rolled his eyes and said “WHEN will you learn?”

But that still left Option two.  The trick is to wait until your human is sound asleep.  And then you oh-so-gently, get up on the bed.  Which works PERFECTLY.  I waited until I was sure my Mom was asleep.  I carefully climbed up and was juuuuuuust about to fall asleep, when Bucket Head decided to join me.  So much for "oh-so-gently."  Seriously, it was like the bed was hit by an earthquake.  And then Frodo – Mr. “I follow rules” decided to join in. Well suffice to say, we were all banished back to the floor.

So now I need to come up with an Option three.  And I’m sure I will.  In the meantime, I’m looking at starting a doggie union to deal with all these rules.  I’ve already got a call in to my lawyer…

  © 2014 Linda Wozniak