I hate cellphones.

I hate cellphones.  Seriously.  Well, I guess hate is a strong word.  I REALLY dislike cellphones.  Why?  Because they have cameras.  

Once upon a time, people used to carry around a camera to take photos.  And my human even had a really nice camera.  Until WE knocked it off the tripod when my human attempted a selfie of sorts, with all of us.  After NUMEROUS attempts to get us to sit and stay, when the shutter finally clicked we got all excited – and well, the camera no longer worked when it hit the deck.  My human got a new camera.  But then - along came the iPhone.  Which meant – she could carry it with her EVERYWHERE.  And we could be subjected to pup-arazzi-like “attacks” at any time.  We’re on a nice walk – and the lighting is nice – out comes the iPhone.  We are doing something silly – out comes the iPhone.  We are forced to wear holiday attire – out comes the iPhone.  We have been groomed – out comes the iPhone.  We dig in the mud- out comes the iPhone.  You get the picture (pun intended).

Paxton and I HATE to see that phone come out.  And what is bad about digital photography is that my human will take 1000 pictures to get “the right” shot.  What the HECK did she do BEFORE digital photos?!  IMAGINE what the development costs would be! The only thing good about these “sessions” is that NUMEROUS treats are involved.  It takes FOREVER before Paxton and I will even LOOK at my human. 

And then there is Frodo.  Take out the iPhone and he TOTALLY LOVES it.  I mean REALLY REALLY LOVES it.  He will pose.  He will smile.  He looks happy. He looks serious.  He’s thinks he’s a dog model.  Honestly.  My human took some shots of him the other night.  Actually, first she tried to get shots of me.  This was a typical result.  Me sticking my tongue out.

 And THEN we have Frodo.  You see his photo above.  And here are more.  These are not the “pick” photos – our human already posted those on-line.  These are some of the “extra” shots.  And what’s even WORSE – is the fact that he poses and DOES take treats – but he doesn’t even REALLY need them.  He just loves showing off.   Maybe I should be his agent.  

Paxton and I have been plotting to steal the iPhone.   But my human guards it pretty closely.  Paxton actually DID take it off the counter once – and my human wondered what it was he had under the table.  She saved it in time.  There’s just a small dent in the case…We were THAT close.  We need a plan… But in the meantime, I need to work out a contract with Frodo.  He needs an agent.  And I need his treats...

©  Linda Wozniak