Picrazy

So I THINK my human may be starting to figure out the FG - and she is BEGINNING to outsmart him.  It's the battle of the smarts...

Yesterday morning she took him for his morning walk - and on the way home, he started getting Picrazy.  That's my new word for Picard crazy.  It's those moments when he completely loses his mind and there is no controlling him.  Like when he starts to pull and chew on the leash in an attempt to pull it away from my human.  He KNOWS that IF she lets go - he is F-R-E-E.  And he wants to be FREE.  So she stops.  Waits for him to stop puling.  She moves forward.  He does it again.  She stops. And the pattern repeats, making a 10 minute walk take 20 minutes.  But he eventually gives up and walks along.  Yesterday as they were finally approaching home, my human didn't pay attention and didn't notice the big ball in the driveway.  I don't know HOW she missed it on the way out - it's big and orange.  Anyway, the FG spotted it as they were coming down the driveway and he suddenly BOLTED forward.  My human knew if she held on, she was going to do a faceplant on the asphalt, so she did they only safe thing to do.  She LET go.  And of course, as SOON as he was let go, he grabbed the end of the leash so he could run faster and he bolted around to the back of the house. 

Now keep in mind that we must adhere to a strict schedule on work mornings, and there is not a lot of time built in for escapees. So my human began to panic.  She raced around to the back - and he raced on - watching her over his shoulder.  So instead of chasing him, she ran away.  He didn't care.  He figured it was a trick.  So she went out of view around the house.  And she ran to grab a fetch toy sitting by the front door.  All the time Einstein and I are barking madly in the house.  Oh - and did I mention it's only 5:30 AM?  So my human then went back, peaked around the house and saw that the FG was standing in the back.  Waiting.  She moved back out of sight and tossed the fetch toy - which to the FG, basically appeared out of thin air.  So he ran to get it.  While my human was waiting right around the corner.  And of course he had dropped the leash so he could grab the fetch toy.  Allowing my human .04 seconds to grab the leash as he was just within reach.  BINGO.  She got him.  So that ended the morning excitement.

I don't think that trick will work in the future.  The FG is pretty smart - and he doesn't FORGET.  Next time I think my human will have to flail herself on the ground.  After that, I'm out of ideas.  Perhaps he needs a 100 foot leash......and obviously MORE work on that recall...

Have a good one!

Watering....

Today is May 30 and according to the crazy calendar, it's Water a Flower Day.  My human has pretty much given up planting annual flowers.  Let's face it - we just CANNOT resist the urge to pee on anything new in the garden.  It's simply our way of watering.  So our house is surrounded by perennials - which even with our abundant watering, are usually hard to kill.  Especially hostas.  She has something like over 25 varieties and so far, we haven't killed any.  So far being the operative words.  The other thing we pee on is the barbecue cover - out on the deck.  Every time we go out.  So the other day, before we were let out on the deck, my human took us out for a pee first.  Then she turned around the cover on the BBQ- thinking we wouldn't pee on a spot that had not been peed on before.  Wrongo.  She watched us when we first went out and when I wandered by the BBQ, with an almost three legged stance - she shouted at me to "Stop."  So I did.  She turned her back for an instant, and the FG peed instead.  She shouted at the heavens - at some saints of dog pee and went in the house.  When she came back out 30 seconds later, there were now three streams of pee on the cover.

My human had gone out on the deck in the first place to see how her paint job turned out.  Every year she has to paint at least part of the deck - and she did it two weeks ago.  She was admiring her work.  She had patched a spot where the FG had dug an indentation in the wood and had painted over it - and it looked excellent.  She left us out on the deck with the door open while she went back in the house.   She still had some work to do for work (when DOES this busy time end?) and she sat down to do something at the computer.  Einstein and I were lying near the door - on the deck.  The FG could not be seen.  But suddenly my human HEARD him.  Making weird scratching sound.  BINGO - you've got it - he found the newly painted patched area that he had previously destroyed.  And he was returning the wood to its previous rugged look.  "NO!!!!!!!" she shouted.  She now had to move a cement starfish over the spot.  The starfish is not usually on the deck, but it had been placed over the spot before it was painted to prevent further damage.  Back to square one.

Sometimes my human thinks she should take a wrecking ball to the house, and start all over.  She threatens that we would have to live in a tent.  Now could you picture THAT?  The three of us and her in a tent?  Wonder who would be the first one to water it?

Have a good one!

A lesson from Maud

On April 14, in Canada, a new movie was released.  It's the story of Maud Lewis, a Nova Scotian folk artist, who lived from 1903-1970.  The film, aptly titled Maudie, tells the story of a woman who lived in poverty, but earnestly painted the world around her.  The story stars Ethan Hawke, who plays her curmudgeonly fish peddler husband, Everett, and Sally Hawkins as Maud.

Maud suffered from juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, resulting in significant physical challenges as she grew older.  Her parents died when she was young, and when she was in her twenties, answered an ad for a "housekeeper" for Everett.  The house was a tiny one room dwelling - on the outskirts of town.  She insisted that Everett marry her after she lived with him for a few years.

Maud's life was far from easy.  Everett was not exactly what one would call a loving husband.  Many would describe him as cruel.  But he did encourage Maud to pursue  her hobby of painting- especially when he realized that the sale of her work could be lucrative.
 

So what does her story have to do with dogs - you may be asking?  Well for one, it was reported that Everett had a dog who was very suspicious of strangers.  Yet when the dog met Maud for the first time, he quickly sized her up - and was fine with her.  In her paintings, she was well known for depicting cats, but some of her works DID have dogs, usually running happily along in a scene.

But the more interesting thing is the lesson to share from Maud.  You see, while her existence was very challenging, living in squalid conditions and a with a man who could be downright mean, all of her simplistic paintings are colourful and joyful.  You won't see grey skies, or dark images.  Her view of the world was one of wonder and delight - kind of how we dogs look at every day.  Maud saw the good things in life.  She used whatever paints she could find and she often painted on boards.  She used what she had - and painted the world the way SHE saw it - or maybe even the way she wished it would be.  It is colourful.  It is happy.

Maud did achieve a bit of fame in her later years - even sending her work to the White House.  But she never saw the fruits of her labor change her life. She lived in the one room house until she died - selling her paintings generally for under $10.  Many sold for $2-3.

Last week, a painting of hers which was found in a thrift store went to an auction and sold for $45,000.  Imagine what Maud would think.

Today you can see Maud's entire house which is in the Art Gallery of Nova Scotia. Yes - the whole house.  Maud painted most every surface in the tiny dwelling - and it was restored and moved to a special place in the Gallery.  The Gallery also has a large collection of her paintings.

The movie, which my human saw, is good.  Very sad but good. It will be released in the US and internationally in limited showings around June 16. Maud's life was oh-so-hard.  But the takeaway message is her resilience - and her bright view of the world, despite her immediate environment.  She always saw the sunny side of life.  Many humans could take a lesson form Maud.  Or from us canines….who see the same world that she did….

We failed.

Well we tried.  And failed.  On Friday night, at the urging of several blog readers, my human decided to try and let the FG sleep out of his crate for the night...

She opened the bedroom door, and then went to turn off the lights in the house.  Ordinarily, the FG waits by his crate - where he gets a before bed treat.  He took one look at the open bedroom door and was GONE in a shot.  When my human walked in, he and Einstein were already resting on the bed.  I was following her - because I usually get a before bed treat too - and that's all I cared about.  When I saw the FG on the bed, I didn't know what to do.  Seriously - he takes up a LOT of space.  So I walked to the other side of the bed and found a place on the floor.  When my human got into bed, the FG, who was already SO excited at the prospect of being free, just stared at her.  When she turned out the light, she actually THOUGHT this might work.  It was early - around 10:30PM.

As soon as the lights went out, the FG realized this was FOR real and he couldn't contain himself.  First he began by styling Einstein's hair.  My human sat up and told him to stop.  As soon as she was comfortable, he started again.   She turned on the light, looked at him, said to stop and he did, and repositioned himself so he wasn't facing Einstein.  She turned out the light and got comfortable again.    At which point, the FG began to lick and nibble on the comforter.  She told him to stop.  At this point, I decided to get on the bed too.  He looked at me and I basically grumbled at him that he better not even THINK about styling my hair - or try to get near MY space by the pillows.  The FG got off the bed.  And Einstein did too.  Within seconds, the FG was lying on an area rug.  And my human could hear "rip-rip."  He was trying to make the carpet in the bedroom match the one in the dining room.  She turned on the light and told him to stop.  He then got up and started to explore the room.  My human lay down, thinking he WOULD find a good spot.  He was walking around, checking out stuff on the dresser. And of course, checking out Einstein.

Long story short, by midnight, he had not settled down.  He wandered, styled the FG's hair, licked the carpet....and my human couldn't take it any more.  She took him by the collar and led him toward his crate.  He didn't resist - because he doesn't mind his crate.  In he went and was comfy within two seconds .  His brain needed a rest.  And so did all of us.

So we'll see when we try again... Maybe on his 5th birthday.  Four more years to go...

Have a good one.

Wake up stare.

It's Saturday.  And my human has been very busy lately with work.  So today we let her sleep in until 5:00.   That was unlike yesterday morning - when I had her up at 4AM.  I simply wanted to poop - but instead of squeaking to be let out, I just stared at her.  And although she was sound asleep, it's kind of uncanny how humans can wake up when one of us canines is staring at them.  At first she woke up around 3:30 and found me sitting on the floor, staring right at her next to the bed.  She told me to go to sleep.  About 30 minutes later, she woke up and I was ON the bed - sitting and staring at her.  So she got out of bed, got dressed - ready for the POURING rain, and took me out.  Once I did my thing, she figured she might as well take ALL of us out.  So by 4:30AM, all of us had been out - and had PPP.  Picture perfect poop.  By then she was so side awake, she figured she might as well stay up.  So that's why we let her sleep in today.

So I have a short blog today - just a few of my Viktionary terms.  Because I THINK after my human finishes taking us out - she MAY be taking a nap.  But we'll see....

Have a good one!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

So my human was looking at this ad by some mattress company,  talking about the fact that they had done research and designed the perfect pet bed.  They studied us dogs and our sleeping habits and supposedly came up with the ultimate solution for slumber for us canines.

In their research, they learned that we dogs often like to dig at a surface before we lie down.  This is typical of Einstein.  He will scratch and dig with all his might - on the ceramic tile.  During those times, the name Einstein does not appear to fit.  I mean I understand that we dogs do this based on centuries old behaviors - where we would scratch earth to get to cooler soil.  But seriously, scratching the tile?  It appears to be a fairly unproductive behavior.  We also DO scratch at our bed - or our human's bed - as we can adjust the surface.   The company with the perfect dog bed supposedly designed it of a tough fabric, resistant and durable enough to withstand all of our digging.  Unfortunately, we will also CHEW soft bedding if allowed to do so.

We dogs also often like to find resting spots that are in awkward places.  It is is believed we do so because we are trying to find a spot that is like a protective den.  Einstein is able to contort himself into all kinds of spots-under chairs, small tables - halfway under the bed.... The perfect bed is designed with sides  to be like a protective den.  But keep in mind that protective sides have corners too.  For chewing.  

The more my human read about the perfect bed, the more she thought it wouldn't be so perfect in our house.  Remember the ultimate bed made of a rubber-like material that we started to destroy about 10 minutes after it came in the house?  So far - the ONLY bed that has withstood the test of us three musketeers is the Kuranda bed.  The one made of steel legs.  Well maybe it's not steel - but it's tough.  We DID chew the pillow that rested on the bed - my human still thinks she can "fix" it.  It's been in the garage for like 18 months so I'm not thinking it will be happening any time soon.  But we still use the bed without the pillow.  

And all of this bed talk got my human thinking - when will the FG be allowed out of his crate at night?  I mean I was about a year old when I was allowed night time freedom.  However - I'm not so sure there will be room for all of us on my human's bed - and let's face it - that's where Einstein and I sleep.  So I'm voting that he stays in his crate.  It can house a small pony, and he doesn't mind it - so why rock the boat? Or should I say, why rock the bed?  If my human DOES try to let him loose, I suggest she tries it on a night when she doesn't have to go to work the next day.  Because it could be a LONG night...

Anyway - sweet dreams and get ready - it's FRIDAY - so let the weekend begin!!!!

Ralph

Today is May 25th and is also the birthday of Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Mr. Emerson was an American writer, lecturer and poet who lived from 1803-1882.  He was a philosophical guy and although I can't really go into details about his beliefs and preachings, I CAN share a few of his quotes.  About dogs.  Now some I like and some....well...check them out!

"There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes."   OK - this one is a bit crazy.  Clearly he doesn't live with the FG. While the FG doesn't ATTACK my human when she gets dressed for work, he sure tries his very best to slobber her.  So he's not exactly respectful of attire....

"Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window."    OK - this analogy is kind of cute.  HOWEVER - we all know that while it might be fun to feel the wind in our faces, it's not really the BEST idea.  We could get something in our eyes - so one has to be careful.

"When a dog is chasing after you, whistle for him."    This one is a bit unusual.  If we are already coming, why bother calling?  Seems a bit redundant if you ask me.  Mind you, if a MEAN dog is chasing you, maybe you do it to confuse him?  Beats me.

But THIS is one I like - and I think you will too...
"Sitting back in the evening, stargazing and stroking your dog, is an infallible remedy."   

Now THAT is perfect.

Happy birthday Ralph.  Clearly, you liked dogs...

Have a good one.

They are BACK......

Ewwwwwwwwwww.   They are back.  And yours truly was the first to meet them.  The TICKS. 

The other morning, my human was petting my head and massaging right between my eyes.  And she THOUGHT I had some mud or bit of goober stuck near my eye.  She didn't look at it but felt it and went to pull it off and heard a "thwack" sound as she pulled off the object.  At which point she REALIZED what she had pulled off with her bare fingers - a TICK.  And she had dropped the half-pea sized thing.  She immediately spotted it on my back and grabbed a tissue to pick it up. Ewwwwwwwwww.   She panicked and took the thing outside to the green bin. She came back in and thoroughly examined me from head to tail for any other critters.  She did the same with Einstein and the FG.  No signs of any other vagabonds.

It didn't REALLY surprise my human that I got a tick - as I am the one who loves to nose around in tall grass.  And it actually had crossed her mind the other night while we we walking, and she pulled me out from the tall grass on the side of the road.

About two hours AFTER she disposed of the creature, she started thinking about it in the green bin.  And she started thinking that it would simply escape - and be free to attack again.  So she went out, dug through the bin, found the paper towel it was in and low and behold, the bugger was still there.  So she proceeded to PERMANENTLY rid us of the problem.  It involved a rock and a great deal of obsessive smashing.  That tick is with us no more....

So now the dilemma.  What to do?  Last year, we tried garlic tablets - and all summer, I was the ONLY one who had two ticks.  Wait - Einstein MIGHT have had one.  But that was it.  So I guess we'll try that  again.  That and Diatomaceous Earth.  My human KNOWS that lots of people use chemical warfare against the Lyme bearing critters - and she MAY resort to that.  But we'll TRY the natural route for NOW and keep our paws crossed that it works.  Ticks.  The main reason to love sub-freezing temperatures, ice and snow!  Ugh.

Have a bug free day....

Lucky Penny

It's May 23.  And according to the crazy calendar, it's Lucky Penny Day.  I guess it comes from that old rhyme - Find a penny, pick it up; And all day you'll have good luck.  UNLESS you are a dog and you happen to swallow a coin minted in the US after 1982.  Because after that date, pennies were no longer made mostly of copper - they were made of zinc.  And if my resources are correct, it looks like pennies minted in Canada from 1997-1999 were also made mostly of zinc.  And if a dog swallows a zinc penny, it can result in BIG problems because zinc can cause kidney failure, anemia and in some cases even death!  Signs of zinc poisoning include weakness, pale or jaundiced gums, lack of appetite, vomiting and increased heart rate.  In small dogs, a single penny could cause death.  If an x-ray revels a penny in a dog's belly, surgery will most likely be the treatment.  So clearly, that is NO lucky penny.  Unless one happens to swallow one that is not zinc.  A copper penny is not as dangerous, but still not something to ingest.  In Canada, we stopped making pennies in 2012.  So when you purchase something at a store, and you are paying in cash, the vendor rounds your total to the nearest 5 cents. I need a calculator to figure it out.  Einstein can do it in his head.

So don't eat any pennies today - but I do wish you a day full of GOOD luck!!!

Queen Victoria

I love Queen Victoria.  And not just because we share a similar name.  But because in Canada, we celebrate her birthday (on or about the actual day) AND so my human gets the day off today!  How great is THAT?!

Queen Victoria's reign was from 1837 (when she was 18) until her death in 1901.  And in case you didn't know, she was a big animal lover.  She owned a number of different breeds of dogs - including collies, a deerhound,  greyhounds,  Pomeranians,   Skye terriers,  and a King Charles Spaniel.  She owned an assortment of other pets as well, including Shetland ponies, goats, a donkey and a parrot.  But she had a special love for her dogs, and when on her deathbed, she requested that her Pomeranian, Turi be brought to bed with her.  Yup - she loved her dogs.

Well, we have another sunny day in the forecast - which means EXTRA long walks again!   A sunny day.  A good walk.   Seriously, can life get any better?  It's the little things in life...

Happy birthday Queen V - and thanks for the day off!

Annnnnnnnnd he swims.

It's official.  The FG can swim.  AND he likes it.

As we know, up until now the FG liked to go in the water, but when he would get in over his head, he would turn around and head for high ground.  Well, no more.  Because Jackson is a good teacher. 

Jackson is one of those easy going, well behaved Labs who comes when called, fetches a toy when thrown and basically behaves.  His only vice is swampy water and mud.  If there is a stagnant stinky boggy area, Jackson will find it and will walk in.  Frodo and I just watch him - we can't IMAGINE doing that.  The FG on the other hand will follow ANYTHING Jackson does.  Walk in muck?  The FG follows.  Eat grass.  The FG is IN.  Carry a stick?  The FG has to hold on too.  And up until now, the ONLY way Jackson could rid himself of the shadow was to swim.  He would swim out to get the fetch toy and have a few seconds of respite from his overly exuberant follower.  But no more.  Yesterday morning, when the FG watched as Jackson swam for the fetch toy in the middle of the pond, he could no longer hold back.  Off he went.  The first couple of strokes resembled a broken windmill - with legs flailing.  My human didn't panic - as she KNEW if she had to rescue him the water would be cold - but not deep.  But no need to worry - after the first attempt, he literally took to the water like a duck - and then there was NO stopping him.  He waited and waited to have the fetch toy thrown into the middle of the pond, and raced in to get it.  After about his third run, he realized his success, jumped out of the water and LEAPT on my human - as if to say "DO you SEE what I can do NOW?!"  Pretty convenient - seeing as we live on a lake.  Guess he won't need that life jacket after all.

Well we have a sunny Sunday forecast today.   Paws crossed that it is breezy - so it keeps the black flies away.  Don't forget to live like a dog today - and make the MOST of your day!

Have a great one!

Oh deer.

So I'm not so sure the FG is going to be much of a herding dog.  Time will tell. 

Thursday night was warm and lovely, so before sundown, my human decided to take each of us for a good walk.  She started with the FG.  She went up to the golf course, as she figured most people would be off the course by then.  The black flies seemed to have slowed down a bit because of the hot weather - and there was a bit of a breeze - so off they went.  They were JUST starting the walk - when my human looked across the fairway and spotted two deer.  The deer spotted her and the FG and stopped dead in their tracks.  And my human braced herself as the FG spotted them too.  He has never seen creatures larger than him, so she had no idea what would happen. He likes other dogs - so she didn't know if he would think these big creatures were oversized canines.  Or whether his herding instinct would kick in and he would want to round up these farm-like creatures.   He watched and watched them.  He would look at the deer and then look at my human.  One deer kept flicking her tail at them and the other grazed while intently watching the FG. And what did the FG do next?   He started to graze too. He could not have cared less about these strange new creatures.  I guess the good news IS that he didn't try to take off after them - resulting in a human with a grass stained body.  My human REALLY wonders what he'll do when he sees sheep.  Now he IS good at herding leaves blowing in the wind....

Oh and you know the wonderful all-control harness that the FG wears?  Well my human went to put it on him, only to note that the one side is JUST about chewed right through.  He's never left with the harness on for a long time- BUT she wonders if the day he went to the Pet Store - and he was traveling in the car in his crate for 10 minutes, he decided to do some contortions and somehow managed to chew it. My human was not impressed.

Today is Saturday - and we're up BRIGHT and early.  The good news - it is now light outside by 5:30 - so not point in sleeping in.  It's a whole new day.  Who KNOWS what adventures lie ahead?!

Have a great one.

Endangered Species

May 19. And it's Endangered Species Day.  When most people hear that term, they tend to think of exotic animals like tigers or whales.   But did you know that certain dog breeds are considered "vulnerable" and could disappear, if moves are not made to save them?   In Britain, for example, the following breeds have seen dwindling numbers:  Corgi, Dandie Dinmount, Scottish Deerhound, Irish Wolfhound, Mastiff, Sealyham Terrier, Miniature Bull Terrier, Skye Terrier, Sussex Spaniel, Clumber Spaniel, the Irish Red and White Setter and THE most endangered breed - the Otterhound.  Now while some of these breeds have popularity in other countries, it is critical to ensure that good breeding practices ensure health and longevity in breeds - both in Britain and around the world.

Along with domestic dog breeds that are "vulnerable", there are a number of animals in the canidae family that are on the endangered species list, including the Ethiopian Wolf, the Red Wolf, the Mexican Grey Wolf, the Dhole ( a wild dog breed from Southeast Asia), the African Wild Dog, Darwin's Fox (native to Chile),  The Island Fox, ( from islands off the coast of California),  and the San Joaquin Kit Fox (from the Central Valley of California).  We canidae need to support each other - nobody wants to see any species on earth disappear.  Except for maybe black flies.  They can totally disappear - and we would be THRILLED.   I SUPPOSE they are good for SOMETHING - like maybe food for bats or birds or fish.  But really, in our household we would be fine without them.   My human is thinking we could be filmed for a bug repellent commercial.  If we could find  a safe one that works...

So today, check out an endangered canidae species and see what you can do to support them.  Also keep in mind that my human often threatens that there are 2 PONs and a Picard whose lives could sometimes be endangered too when we pull some of our simultaneous antics.  But she's just kidding.  We think...

It's FRIDAY.  Let the weekend begin!!!!!!

Fuzzy Facial Art

So the FG has this habit - which I may have mentioned before.  It is the post-meal face rub.  When there was a carpet in the hallway -  (it has not yet been replaced) - he used to finish his meal, drop  and roll his face in the carpet.  Every time.  But with the carpet temporarily gone, he has nowhere to wipe his face.  So he searches for things to rub his face on.  The refrigerator door, the cupboards, the bedroom door, the walls, my human's pants - he wanders and wipes.  So lately my human has been grabbing a towel and wiping his face for him after he eats.  Doesn't matter.  He still wants to do it himself.  And it's only after mealtime - so according to several sources, he is simply trying to clean his face.  If a dog is constantly doing it - it could be a sign of allergies or a skin issue - but when it is tied to mealtime, it is most likely a cleanliness issue.  We watched him try to rub his face on a wooden stool the other day.  The stool kept moving - but he kept trying.  That's when my human attempted to help.   As I recall, Paxton would do that - and it makes sense that dogs with longer coats might do it.  But Einstein and I don't.  Guess we are happy to look sloppy.  Mind you, I DO clean off Einstein's face FOR him.  So who needs to rub when you have your own personal groomer.  My human even found that my licking can create dreadlocks for Einstein.  She is not impressed.   But hey - some people pay to go to salons to have this kind of styling done!

Anyway, if someone wants to see some interesting fuzzy facial art left on a variety of surfaces, feel free to come to our gallery.  It goes well with the olfactory art on the windows.

Have a good one!

Shroom Day or Fungus Followers Day

May 17.  And it's National Mushroom Hunting Day.  I've been SO waiting for this day.  Just kidding.  While there ARE truffle hunting pigs - apparently any dog CAN become a mushroom hunter - but some breeds are better than others. Who KNEW that in some places there are truffle hunting clinics?!  To train a good truffle hunting dog it reportedly takes several months.  And a breed that excels at the task is the Italian water dog - the Lagotto Romagnolo.  They are used a lot in Italy for hunting truffles.  And apparently, dogs that work in detection work, like German Shepherds and Belgian Malinois, are also good at hunting down truffles and mushrooms.  I guess if you are good at sniffing out drugs and explosives, it's not such a big deal to look for hunks of fungus.  Resources also say that other sporting breeds can truffle hunt and even beagles - who are known for following their noses, can be trained to do it too.  The key is in not eating the truffles once you find them.  That could be a problem for me.  If it's edible, it's mine.

And while hunting for truffles and morel mushrooms is not dangerous, there ARE mushrooms which can be toxic to dogs.  This link is a good review about dogs and ingesting toxic mushrooms.   Check it out...
http://www.petmd.com/dog/conditions/digestive/c_dg_mushroom_poisoning

You know, some mushrooms and truffles in particular, sell for a lot of money. In 2014, the largest white truffle in the world sold for $61,000.  But the record PRICE paid for a single white truffle was in 2007.  Get this - it sold for $330,000.  And it wasn't even Bill Gates who bought it.  It was some casino owner.  Anyway, it seems that it could be a lucrative career for me. Viktor - the Truffle Hunter.  And as far as I can tell, Nova Scotia has truffles - but I don't think they are all that common.  At least the fungus type.  I know there are places with all kinds of chocolate varieties, but that's a whole different story.  Still, I will keep my nose to the ground - because one of those truffles could sure buy a LOT of dog treats.

Anyway, happy fungus hunting!

Bill Gates

May 16.  On this day in 2013, Bill Gates resumed his position as the world's richest man - a ranking he had lost in 2008.  In 2013, the software giant's  net worth was said to be somewhere around $72.7 billion.  Today it is said to be around $87.4 billion.  Just a small jump.

In 2011, a satirical novel came out, called I AM Bill Gates' Dog.  My human didn't read it, but the reviews said the story focused in part on a group of canines vying for the role as Bill Gates' dog.

I couldn't find anything current about the real dogs in Bill's household, but I do know that as of a few years ago, he had two - that he claimed barked at night, and ate things they shouldn't.  Sounds familiar.  Which got me thinking - can you IMAGINE what it would be like to be his dog?  Here's what I envision...

• Steak for breakfast.  Lunch.  And dinner.  Or maybe salmon.
• A king-sized dog bed.  
• Kitchen counters that would go up and down at the touch of a paw.  To make stealing easier.
• A football field sized fenced backyard.  With tick-free, flea-free daily mowed grass.  Which has a removable roof over the whole thing - JUST in case it rains.
• Huge drums of waterless spray shampoo - so I never have to step into a bath again.
• Barrels and barrels of fetch toys.  With those automatic launchers so I can fetch all by myself.
• Barrels and barrels of bones.  And antlers.
• Self-serving treat jars.  They pour out treats when you bark.
• One of those driverless cars - so it can take me to the store any time I want.
• A trampoline for the dogs like the FG.  Picture THAT!
• Loads of stuffed toys.  To dissect.

Yup, I'm thinking it would be QUITE the life.  But then...I started thinking....I wouldn't have my human.  And REALLY, what fun would all that other stuff be without her? 

So I think I'll stay exactly where I am - and someone else can go to live with Bill.  Mind you....I wouldn't refuse a vacation there...

Have a good one!

•  

We could not make this stuff up.

Today is May 15 and according to the crazy calendar it's Nylon Stockings Day.  Don't you wonder sometimes who started these days?  

Nylon stockings and three crazy dogs do NOT go together.  My poor human practically has to cover herself from head to toe to get out the door to go to work without ending up with FG slobber on the front of her skirt, PON hair hanging off the bottom and torn stockings to complete the ensemble.  In fact, last Friday she successfully avoided hair and slobber, only to discover two holes in her stockings when she got to work.  She's not even sure how it happened.

And you know, my human has to be pretty diligent with us guys.  We really keep her on her toes.  She has to scan the yard for roving bunnies before we go out, she can't leave any purse or knapsack on the floor if she doesn't want the contents removed, she has to be aware of open doors and she doesn't leave food unattended on the counter - especially after the banana fiasco.  But sometimes she just has a lot on her plate - and she lets down her guard.   Like Saturday.  She had a bunch of errands in the afternoon and she visited her mother - and then was home with us for the evening.  She went to make herself some dinner - and was just about to put some pasta noodles into boiling water when the FG indicated he wanted to go out. Of course he did.  Perfect timing. She had some prosciutto and cheese on the counter and she didn't trust ME so she fired Einstein and I into the FG's giant crate while she took him out to pee.  She was all proud of herself for being so smart.  That brilliance lasted all of 10 minutes.  She took the FG out, came in and let Einstein and I out of the crate.  She put the noodles in the pot, and put her other ingredients in a pan on the stove.  She had sliced some of the ingredients on a plate - but it was empty and left on the counter.  She knew she had a few minutes for the noodles to cook, so she went into the bedroom to get her slippers.  BUT - she left the bedroom door open, which was an open invitation for the FG to RACE in and play trampoline on the bed.   He also raced into the bathroom and grabbed a mouthful of tissues from the garbage can.  While she was chasing HIM around the bedroom, she heard a large CRASH in the kitchen.  She raced in to see me amidst a broken plate on the kitchen floor. So now she had to corral all of us so no one would walk on the shattered plate.  I do recall hearing some rather colorful language - and she invoked the help of some saint - to keep from murdering us.  She contemplated putting us outside to be eaten alive by the black flies, but she reconsidered because she she didn't REALLY want to kill us - and besides the black flies wouldn't kill us, but COULD cause a LOT of scratching and maybe even a trip to the vet.  So that was no solution.  She quickly put the FG in his crate and like a banshee removed that cheap carpet in the hall way which REALLY doesn't work all that well - since it slides into a giant ball whenever some dog races on it.  Oh - and by the way - she doesn't even know WHEN it happened - but it appears to have a rip on an edge.  So it looks like it probably happened Friday.  We're not sure who won the bet - we'll have to check.  She gathered up the carpet, threw it in a heap into the garage and sequestered me and Einstein in the front hall while she cleaned up the shattered plate.  By the time she was done, the saint had intervened, and she calmed down - so she let us out of our detainment facilities.  We all bounded out like nothing had ever happened.  And proceeded to bug her while she ate her supper.

The other day, someone read about one of our adventures and said we must be making this stuff up.  No three dogs could cause this much chaos.  I swear on Einstein's food bowl, all of this stuff is REAL.  So now you understand why I write this blog.  At least our antics have some entertainment value.

It's Monday.  A new day, a new week.  What kind of adventures lie ahead?

Have a good one!!

MothersDay

Today is a special day in over 70 countries around the globe.  It's Mother's Day. We celebrate those special humans and in our case, canines, who brought us into this world.

As you may recall, my human's mother was recently hospitalized.  She is home but continues to need your prayers. Oftentimes doctors and veterinarians can restore someone to good health.  And in some cases, a positive attitude AND prayers are the best treatment options.  In those situations, one learns to appreciate every single day.  Kind of like learning to think and live like a dog.  We dogs don't stress about tomorrow. We dogs live in the here and now.  Humans REALLY need to be more like us.  We hope to see my human's mother very soon - we miss her banana sharing. Plus did I mention, I'm her favorite.  Or I like to THINK I am. 

In other news, spring REALLY appeared yesterday and so did the dreaded black flies.  The flesh eating pin head sized cannibals were out in full force yesterday.  And they don't discriminate - they'll eat humans and canines as well. So despite the fact that it was a glorious sunny day, there was NO wind - so we were sequestered in the house.  We managed to avoid them at 5:30 AM during our morning walks - they clearly like to sleep in - and they wait until  the afternoon to emerge.  One of our neighbors is doing our lawn maintenance this year - and when my human went out to chat with him, a cloud of black flies began swarming around.  Time for my human get out her bug suit.  We couldn't understand why we couldn't stay out - we don't feel them biting.  But my human watches them follow us - so she wouldn't let us stay out.  Try and explain that to the FG.  The good news is that they are NOT a problem on windy days, and thankfully they are at their peak during this month of May. And then they seem to disappear.

My human FINALLY got the snow tires off Ludwig yesterday too, so with the way her luck has been going lately, you can expect to read about a freak spring blizzard in Nova Scotia any day now.  Maybe it would actually cut down the black fly population.  See - we dogs always DO look at the bright side.

Wishing all mothers - and especially my human's mother - a VERY Happy Mother's Day. And we MAY even behave today.  I do have to tell you about how we had a moment of EXTREME naughtiness yesterday....so we'll TRY to make up for it today....

Have a good one!

A BIRTHDAY

Well, well.  It was one year ago today on Friday the 13th (Isn't THAT ironic?) that a special treasury of puppies came into the world.  Remember, I think the word "litter" is just not appropriate when describing a group of puppies.  I prefer treasury.  Anyway, a treasury of 1girl puppy and 5 boys arrived, and WHO KNEW that my life would never be the same!

Elroy, also known as the FG (Friendly Giant) arrived in our home and Einstein and I were still bigger than him.  But not for long.

I was NOT impressed when he arrived.  And I quickly told him that I commanded respect.  And the FG avoided me for a short period.  Actually I suppose in wasn't all THAT short.  It took several months for me really to warm up to him. I have yet to allow him to style my hair the way that he does with Einstein, but he can lie within inches of me while I chew a bone and I won't take his head off.  I'd say that's progress!

We continue to learn a lot about Picards.   I don't know if they are all alike, but I can tell you that Elroy loves to leap and pounce, he doesn't avoid puddles, he is excellent at excavation work, and he pays little to no attention to bunnies or cats.  But he IS a bird watching king.  He exhibits serious namenesia if let off leash - but DOES come back when he wants to.  He takes about a tenth of the time to groom that we PONs do.  He examines treats and has to decide whether he REALLY wants them.  He will play with them and roll on them.  In FACT, last night he got to go to the PET store as a pre-birthday surprise.  He has been before so he wasn't totally shell shocked like the last time he went.  This time, he attempted to steal things from shelves and bins and when my human went to pay for some items, he put his paws on the counter as IF he was going to pay.  He showered the clerk in kisses.  So she gave him a treat.  Which he proceeded to roll on.

He has grown into quite the strapping lad - and whenever he goes out, people ask what he is.  If he's not behaving, she says he is a Coy-wolf or a wolfhoundoodle.  If he is behaving, she tells the truth.  She does the same thing with us PONs.  We have been called Polish Highland Doodles a number of times.

But back to my French brother. Today we celebrate his birth, his entertaining ways and his ability to create his own brand of naughty - which takes the pressure off me!!!  Happy birthday bro - cheers to many more!!!!

Limerick Day

OK.  It's May 12 - and it's Limerick Day. I must confess, I am stealing one that I wrote in my blog two years ago.  But I also have a few NEW works...

PONs

There once was a Polish breed

You cannot forget to feed

PONs will bark to remind you

To eat and to go poo

And will tell you JUST what they need.

 

PICARDS

There is a very special French breed 

The Picard is made for herding and speed

They love to leap and to run

Their middle name is "fun"

Look out when they are off leash and freed.

OUR HOUSE

There once were two PONs and a Picard

Who LOVED to race round the yard

They would run and bark

Stop sometimes  to mark

Against bunnies and birds they would guard.

ELROY

There was a Picard named Elroy

Every carpet he worked to destroy

He would pull and tug

Every corner of rug

A habit he did thoroughly enjoy.

DOGS

God created a unique creature

With many a wonderful feature

A dog is loyal, fun and smart

And will steal a human's heart

Add to that he is an incredible teacher.

 

That's it for limericks.  I started another one with:  There once was a crazy household, with three dogs who could not be controlled....but then I hit the Limerick wall.   Feel free to finish it for me!

Have a VERY happy Friday and get ready for the WEEKEND!!!!  

And from Texas...

So hot off the press has come a new survey from dog owners in Texas.  And it includes some interesting stats:

• 49% of people owned by dogs sing to their dogs and 28% make up songs for their canine kids.  We don't live in Texas - but I'm here to report that my human sings to us AND makes up little songs for us.  They usually usually include one of our many nicknames.  Like this weird little song about Trino Be-dino.  Which in some strange way comes from my nickname Trino which comes from Viktor-ino which comes from Viktor.  Frod-dee-o-do has a ditty too and Baby-Schmaby (Elroy's REALLY weird nickname) also has a song.  None of which will EVER win a Grammy award.
• 27% of people in Texas post more pictures of their dogs on social media than pictures of friends or family.  Ever see my human's Facebook page?  There MUST be 500 pictures of us on there.  People must think my human is crazy.  And that of course includes the dreaded holiday shots wearing Dollar Store attire. I can't IMAGINE a week going by without her taking a photo of us.  Heck, I can't imagine two DAYS going by.  She's a caninographoholic.   She's addicted.
• More than 50% of people say they celebrate their dog's birthday.  Proper thing.  I think mine should be a national holiday. 

So there you have the news from the Lone Star state.  But something tells me Texans aren't ALL that different from most humans owned by dogs. Same behaviors - just different accents.

Have a HUGE day.

CLEAN up

May 10 and it's National Clean Up Your Room Day.  We're not big into clean up. Unless it is cleaning up something edible that hits the floor.  Then we are vacuum cleaners.  But as for cleaning up our toys or antlers- as soon as my human puts them in the big bin when she is vacuuming, we promptly pull them out.  They are spread out all over the kitchen and dining room. We like the look.

Well the rug in the hallway is still intact.  So far.  But don't kid yourself, if left to his own devices, it would be shredded quickly.  We'll see who wins the bet...

My human has noticed another interesting FG trait.   Besides rug shredding.   As we know, she takes him for a walk every morning around 5 AM, wearing her trusty headlamp, which remains less-than-trusty right now because she STILL needs batteries.  Anyway, she has noticed that on some mornings, the FG bounds ahead of her on the leash, with little care.   He walks along sniffing and snarking - and she has to watch him closely because,  speaking of cleaning skills, he CAN be a vacuum cleaner who picks up garbage along the road.   He is STARTING to learn the command "drop it."  So that's a typical morning.  But every now and then, and it appears to be on particularly foggy and dark mornings, he will NOT leave my human's side. He is like GLUE attached to her.  And every couple of minutes, he'll stop and stare off behind them on the dark road.  Or off into the bushes.  It's kind of spooky - and my human wonders if he picks up the scent of something.  She would like to THINK he is protecting her - but I actually think he is looking for her to protect HIM.  He's a not a huge guard dog - I mean he doesn't bark if someone comes to the door - and he does not practice rabbilert.   But that being said, the other day he was on the deck with me and Einstein and my human was in the house.  And he let out such a BIG dog bark that my human had to come and see if another dog had joined the party!  We have NEVER heard that bark before.  It was a first.  So maybe he is starting to mature - and his close walking IS a protective stance.   That or he has figured out yet another way to drive my human crazy....

It's Wednesday - and only TWO more work days after today.  We are counting down the minutes!

Have a good one - and don't forget to clean up!

Mattress Labels. Really.

Today is May 9 and it is also Tear the Tags off the Mattress Day.  You know how it says that it is illegal to remove the mattress tag?  Did you know that became law back in the early 20th century - and was aimed at sellers of mattresses - and not the consumer?  It seems that some mattress makers would put "recycled" contents in their products - which could harbor things like bugs or lice.  So the products had to be clearly labeled as to the contents so consumers could make an educated choice about which mattress they wanted - knowing what the contents were.  Sellers could not change the label to mislead the consumer.  It actually says nowadays "do not remove under penalty of law except by the consumer"  but some people don't read the fine print.  And we dogs certainly don't read the print.  We LOVE to tear off labels.  On toys, beds - and if we could, the mattress.  And speaking of sleeping, my human had to investigate our pillowcase chewing hobby. And low and behold - it appears we are not unique.  Other dogs do it too.  Some speculate we are bored and do it for attention. Others suggest that the hair products you humans use may smell yummy - so we just like to eat the pillowcases because they smell like your hair.  As for us, we do it simply because we can!

Have a good one!

Taking bets

So we are taking bets here.  And anyone can join in the fun.

We know that the FG has an affinity for chewing carpets.  The area carpet in the dining room is TRASHED.  It is BEYOND repair.  And my human bought a cheap replacement, but hasn't put it out yet - she's waiting for a nice day when she can open the windows, roll up the old carpet, scrub the floor and and put out the new replacement.  She also figures that if she waits a BIT longer, maybe he will get out of the habit.  Bwhahahahahaha.

Anyway, in the meantime, we ALSO had a carpet in the entry hall.  One of those heavy duty water hugger mats that absorbs water, snow and keeps us from tracking mud and leaves into the house.  Well the FG enjoyed the corners of that carpet as well.  AND then I had that bout of digestive problems, and well, that water hugger mat hugs everything.  So my human dragged it outdoors, put shampoo on it, scrubbed it with a bristle brush and hosed it down.  BUT - she forgot to bring it in the first day.  And then it RAINED the next day.  So now the water hugger has been hugging rain, dirt, leaves, bugs and who knows what for about a week.  So there is NO way that thing is coming back in the house.  Not having a rug in the entry IS a problem - because we ARE tracking in all kinds of dirt.  So she opted for a cheap replacement.  Again.  She should REALLY be thinking about the words her father always said "you get what you pay for."  But no - she didn't have time to go searching for another water hugger - so she got an indoor/outdoor mat for the time being - the kind you can put on a deck or patio.  Well.  When she first rolled it out, you KNOW who had to first check it out.  The carpet king.  The FG walked on it, sniffed it, and then proceeded to scrape his face on it.  That must be a Picard thing - he does it after every meal.  And then of course, he decided to see how it would come apart.  But my human was watching so she yelled "stop." And he did.  And she's been watching him like a hawk since she put it down.  Every time he goes in the hall.  But we are taking bets.  How long before she doesn't pay attention for a minute, and he starts unraveling the thing?  I'm giving it four days.  I figure by the end of the week.  Einstein says a week from today.  Please feel free to join in the betting.  Winner gets....hmmmm.....I have to think about that.  Leave it with me. Maybe a pawtographed photo of the FG.

Anyway, hope your day is awesome!

Rotational badness and bad hair days

We all know that the FG and I are often, how should I say this...a bit naughty at times.  And TYPICALLY, Einstein, except for his incessant barking and ability to escape any enclosed area, is PRETTY well behaved.  But yesterday, he showed HIS naughty side - and I think I know why.

At 4AM, yesterday, I decided my human had had enough rest.  I mean how many hours does the woman need?  Besides, I was hungry.  So I kept staring at her.  And jumping on and off the bed.  But she could hear it pouring outside - and after all it WAS Saturday, so she didn't want to get up.  I FINALLY managed to move her at 5:45.  She went into the bathroom to wash her face and she was not in there for a minute when she heard a sound.  Riiiiiiiiiiiiip.  She immediately figured it was ME tearing another pillowcase - so she started shouting "VIKTOR stop it!"  Without even seeing me.  She threw the bathroom door open - and there was EINSTEIN - on the bed - destroying her pillowcase.  She's starting to wonder what it is with us and pillowcases.  She evicted him from the bed and went back to brush her teeth.  

As she went to take us out - she noticed that I was limping.  Clearly, during one of my numerous bed jumps I landed awkwardly.  She decided to ignore it - and just as well - within minutes I was fine.  She took the FG out first - during a break in the torrential rains. He did his thing and she then went to walk me and Einstein.  Well, walk is not exactly the correct term.  More like drag.  It was WET out.  And while I'm not THAT bad about damp conditions, Einstein could NOT have looked more grumpy. He was furious.  He sees NO point in going out in wet weather, AND as he often does, he protests by refusing to poop.  One would THINK he would go quickly to get back in the house  and sometimes he does.  But yesterday was an APP - an anti-poop protest.  He walked or rather plodded along the road with total disgust on his face.  Now because humans KNOW our metabolism and pay close attention to our bodily functions - and they KNOW our routine, my human KNEW he needed to poop.  I mean he hadn't pooped in 24 hours.  And after all, we HAD dragged her out of bed - so she was NOT going back in the house without results.  I did my thing.  Twice.  But Einstein kept walking sullenly.  We went ALL the way down the road, and all the way back home.  And as we approached the house, Einstein's happy gait returned.  Little did he know my human wasn't finished walking him.  She left him outside, put me in the house and proceeded to walk around the house to the trail.  OOOOOOOO-EEEEEEE.  He was REALLY not happy.  I mean walking on the wet road is bad enough - but walking through the wet lawn and puddles on the trail - he was NOT a happy camper.  They walked down - or trudged down to the lake and on the way back, he stopped to poop.  Not once.  Twice.  My human had that look of accomplishment and glee - and Einstein just shook himself off, ignored her smile and trotted back to the house.

So why the bad behavior from Einstein?  I think it may be my fault.  And the FG's.  We have been doing a LOT of hair styling with Einstein lately - and he is not always pleased with the results.  Personally, I think we give him a distinctive look.  He thinks we are responsible for bad hair days.  And for him, bad hair days result in bad behavior.  Simple.

So it looks like our salon skills will have to be put on hold for a while - two bad dogs at a time are quite enough for my human.   Mind you - I HAVE been better behaved lately- remember the bunny story  - so maybe we should simply consider this a case of rotational badness.  Yup.  That's what we are calling it. Rotational badness.  So it was the FG on Thursday...  Einstein on Saturday... Looks like I'm up!  Let's see what I can get into today.

Have a good one!