Nylon stockings and three crazy dogs do NOT go together. My poor human practically has to cover herself from head to toe to get out the door to go to work without ending up with FG slobber on the front of her skirt, PON hair hanging off the bottom and torn stockings to complete the ensemble. In fact, last Friday she successfully avoided hair and slobber, only to discover two holes in her stockings when she got to work. She's not even sure how it happened.
And you know, my human has to be pretty diligent with us guys. We really keep her on her toes. She has to scan the yard for roving bunnies before we go out, she can't leave any purse or knapsack on the floor if she doesn't want the contents removed, she has to be aware of open doors and she doesn't leave food unattended on the counter - especially after the banana fiasco. But sometimes she just has a lot on her plate - and she lets down her guard. Like Saturday. She had a bunch of errands in the afternoon and she visited her mother - and then was home with us for the evening. She went to make herself some dinner - and was just about to put some pasta noodles into boiling water when the FG indicated he wanted to go out. Of course he did. Perfect timing. She had some prosciutto and cheese on the counter and she didn't trust ME so she fired Einstein and I into the FG's giant crate while she took him out to pee. She was all proud of herself for being so smart. That brilliance lasted all of 10 minutes. She took the FG out, came in and let Einstein and I out of the crate. She put the noodles in the pot, and put her other ingredients in a pan on the stove. She had sliced some of the ingredients on a plate - but it was empty and left on the counter. She knew she had a few minutes for the noodles to cook, so she went into the bedroom to get her slippers. BUT - she left the bedroom door open, which was an open invitation for the FG to RACE in and play trampoline on the bed. He also raced into the bathroom and grabbed a mouthful of tissues from the garbage can. While she was chasing HIM around the bedroom, she heard a large CRASH in the kitchen. She raced in to see me amidst a broken plate on the kitchen floor. So now she had to corral all of us so no one would walk on the shattered plate. I do recall hearing some rather colorful language - and she invoked the help of some saint - to keep from murdering us. She contemplated putting us outside to be eaten alive by the black flies, but she reconsidered because she she didn't REALLY want to kill us - and besides the black flies wouldn't kill us, but COULD cause a LOT of scratching and maybe even a trip to the vet. So that was no solution. She quickly put the FG in his crate and like a banshee removed that cheap carpet in the hall way which REALLY doesn't work all that well - since it slides into a giant ball whenever some dog races on it. Oh - and by the way - she doesn't even know WHEN it happened - but it appears to have a rip on an edge. So it looks like it probably happened Friday. We're not sure who won the bet - we'll have to check. She gathered up the carpet, threw it in a heap into the garage and sequestered me and Einstein in the front hall while she cleaned up the shattered plate. By the time she was done, the saint had intervened, and she calmed down - so she let us out of our detainment facilities. We all bounded out like nothing had ever happened. And proceeded to bug her while she ate her supper.
The other day, someone read about one of our adventures and said we must be making this stuff up. No three dogs could cause this much chaos. I swear on Einstein's food bowl, all of this stuff is REAL. So now you understand why I write this blog. At least our antics have some entertainment value.
It's Monday. A new day, a new week. What kind of adventures lie ahead?
Have a good one!!
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