Look out Hillary

April 30.  On this day in 1789, George Washington was inaugurated as the first President of the United States. Shouldn’t it be a US holiday?  I guess the US gets his birthday off, or a combo day to mark his birthday and Lincoln’s birthday.  But this whole first inauguration thing seems like a bigger day to me.  But what do I know.  I’m a dog.

And speaking of dogs, on this historic day, I did a little research about Presidents and their dogs.  Most people remember dogs like Clinton’s Buddy ( a Lab) and George Bush Sr.’s Millie (a Springer Spaniel) and of course Obama’s current dogs Bo and Sunny who are Portuguese Water Dogs.  And if my stats are correct, 32 out of 44 Presidents owned dogs.  I’m not certain they all actually lived in the White House but 32 Presidents had dogs as pets at some point in their lives. But not John Quincy Adams.  He had silkworms.  Talk about boring.  Try and make those things retrieve. I bet they would be worse than Paxton. 

George Washington himself had American staghounds and Black and Tan Coonhounds.  He obviously liked the Hound Group.  And having a drink.  Two of his dogs were named Drunkard and Tipsy.  Seriously. 

And lots of other breeds were owned by Presidents – Newfoundlands,  a Siberian Husky, an Italian Greyhound, Spaniels, Scottish Terriers, Briards, Bouviers, Goldens, an Irish Setter, a Sheltie, Beagles, German Shepherds, a Great Dane, Bullmastiff – the list goes on.  And Franklin D. Roosevelt even had an Old English Sheepdog.  But guess what?  NO President has owned a PON.  Not one. 

I suppose I could wait for whoever next gets into office and see if they would like to adopt me.  But that would mean giving up my human – and I’m not keen on that idea.  So I guess I just need to go back to my original plan – and run for politics myself.  Picture me doing zoomies on the White House lawn – with the Secret Service in hot pursuit…

OK.  How do I go about getting my name on the ticket? Look out Hillary…

©  Linda Wozniak

World Wish Day

April 29. World Wish Day.  Another interesting human “holiday.”  So let’s think about this one.  As a PON,  I would wish…

·      That I could open the garage door where our dog food is stored.  And that I could REACH the shelf on which it is stored…and… the rest is obvious.

·      That I was taller so I could reach the treat jar on the counter. 

·      That the iPhone which has the camera – which takes 1,000,0000 pictures of us a week – would disappear

·      That  all brushes, combs and assorted tools for grooming – would disappear

·      That I could walk OFF leash all the time – so that I could chase rabbits, birds, foxes, leaves…whenever I wanted

·      That my human would win the lottery so she wouldn’t have to go to work – and she could stay home and play with us all day.  But I guess she has to play the lottery first…

·      That I could have all of Frodo’s food and Paxton’s food.  Even for a week.

·      That I would never, ever have to have a bath.

·      That I had my very own driverless car.  To take me to the pet store. Oh. And that I had my own credit card…

·      That I had my own indoor toilet.  So I didn’t have to go out in the rain.

·      That I could travel to Poland to see the home of my ancestors.  15 times removed.

·      That I could lick whatever I wanted without hearing my human say “Viktor – stop it.”

·      That dog food came in kielbasa flavor.

So those are my wishes.  Hmmmm….they sound a bit selfish.  I suppose I SHOULD be wishing for things like no more dog fighting, or an end to canine disease, or world peace.  But those are REALLY big.  How about this one…that everyone reading my blog smiles once – and has a great day?  OK.  That’s my wish…And I hope it comes true!

©  Linda Wozniak

The mud miracle

SPRING has sprung!  Although all the snow is STILL not gone in our yard – we ARE beginning to see grass – and we even got to try out our new retrieving toys on the weekend.  As you can see from the photo – I LOVED it.  I kept retrieving and retrieving – like 100 times.  Frodo did it about 12 times and then said, “That’s quite enough.  Thank you.”  Paxton brought it back 4 times and then went to lie down on a snowbank – and he attempted to destroy it. Typical.

With the spring, and the melting snow, we were FINALLY able to take a walk on the trail near our house.  The only problem?  Mud.  LOTS of mud.  And puddles.  My human took Frodo and I first.  I had to stay on a leash – because…well it’s spring.  And we never quite know when I might take off.  Frodo on the other hand was let off the leash.  So my human and I maneuvered the puddles and muddy ground, while Frodo walked behind us.  Several times my human turned around and implored Frodo to come along with us.  At one point we turned a bend in the trail and he was out of sight.  At this point, my human’s shoes were muddy, and I was also sporting a brown undercoat.  We got to a dry area and waited for Frodo.  And waited.  My human called.  And called.  She was JUST about to go back and find him – and he appeared.  We watched as he was carefully and slowly treading around the last few puddles.   And guess what?  He reached us and was completely dry.  AND no mud.   When he got up to us – he just looked at us as if to say “What’s your problem?”  It was a mud miracle.  Seriously.  I don’t know HOW he did it.  I don’t think I’ll ever have THAT kind of patience! It's hard sometimes to believe we are related.

Anyway, I'm just happy that SPRING IS HERE!!!!!!  Have a fabulous SPRING day – wherever you are!

©  Linda Wozniak

Bloopers

A short blog for a Monday morning.  But hopefully it will give you a chuckle...

As you know, my human takes LOTS of photos of us....And while she DOES manage to get some good shots…some of the Blooper shots are even MORE fun.  Here are a few of our favorites.  The Blooper - and the result.  Enjoy!!!!

 

 

 

So I guess the moral of the blog?  Life will throw you plenty of bloopers.  Might as well try to learn from them and maybe even enjoy them - kind of like a "lemons and lemonade" thing!

Have a great day!!!!!

© Linda Wozniak

I hate cellphones.

I hate cellphones.  Seriously.  Well, I guess hate is a strong word.  I REALLY dislike cellphones.  Why?  Because they have cameras.  

Once upon a time, people used to carry around a camera to take photos.  And my human even had a really nice camera.  Until WE knocked it off the tripod when my human attempted a selfie of sorts, with all of us.  After NUMEROUS attempts to get us to sit and stay, when the shutter finally clicked we got all excited – and well, the camera no longer worked when it hit the deck.  My human got a new camera.  But then - along came the iPhone.  Which meant – she could carry it with her EVERYWHERE.  And we could be subjected to pup-arazzi-like “attacks” at any time.  We’re on a nice walk – and the lighting is nice – out comes the iPhone.  We are doing something silly – out comes the iPhone.  We are forced to wear holiday attire – out comes the iPhone.  We have been groomed – out comes the iPhone.  We dig in the mud- out comes the iPhone.  You get the picture (pun intended).

Paxton and I HATE to see that phone come out.  And what is bad about digital photography is that my human will take 1000 pictures to get “the right” shot.  What the HECK did she do BEFORE digital photos?!  IMAGINE what the development costs would be! The only thing good about these “sessions” is that NUMEROUS treats are involved.  It takes FOREVER before Paxton and I will even LOOK at my human. 

And then there is Frodo.  Take out the iPhone and he TOTALLY LOVES it.  I mean REALLY REALLY LOVES it.  He will pose.  He will smile.  He looks happy. He looks serious.  He’s thinks he’s a dog model.  Honestly.  My human took some shots of him the other night.  Actually, first she tried to get shots of me.  This was a typical result.  Me sticking my tongue out.

 And THEN we have Frodo.  You see his photo above.  And here are more.  These are not the “pick” photos – our human already posted those on-line.  These are some of the “extra” shots.  And what’s even WORSE – is the fact that he poses and DOES take treats – but he doesn’t even REALLY need them.  He just loves showing off.   Maybe I should be his agent.  

Paxton and I have been plotting to steal the iPhone.   But my human guards it pretty closely.  Paxton actually DID take it off the counter once – and my human wondered what it was he had under the table.  She saved it in time.  There’s just a small dent in the case…We were THAT close.  We need a plan… But in the meantime, I need to work out a contract with Frodo.  He needs an agent.  And I need his treats...

©  Linda Wozniak

Ghosts.

Our topic today is spooky stuff. …

So.  The latest viral photo circulating the net is of a little girl – who apparently has some mysterious boots behind her in a photo.  Supposedly, there was no one behind her when the photo was taken– and some are suspecting that it is the ghost of a Samurai warrior because the photo was taken in Japan.  Her family attests that the photo is not edited.

Here is the OTHER photo.  

Yup.  It’s me again. You can see me peeking out over her shoulder.  The boots?  Those are my human’s rubber boots.  Everybody in Nova Scotia owns rubber boots.  Or they should.  Another mystery solved. No warrior ghost after all. 

 But speaking of spooky things – the other day, Paxton and I got really spooked out.   We were having breakfast with our human and we heard this strange rat-a-tat-tat noise.  So we started running around and barking.  Then it stopped.  Then it happened again.  So we AGAIN raced around the room and to the front door.  All the time – Frodo was looking at our human and rolling his eyes. 

It seems we have some rather strange birds in our neck of the woods.  Woodpeckers to be exact.  And the strange sound HAS happened before – but Paxton and I forgot.  The not-too-bright woodpecker likes to peck away at the metal flashing on our chimney.  So the sound comes right down the fireplace and reverberates in the house.  Frodo remembered the sound, so he didn’t care – and neither did our human.  Paxton and I on the other hand thought it was either a ghost or a burglar. Wrongo.

So that’s my ghost story for today.  Not all that scary.  My human figures any ghost would be totally scared off by the three of us – and frankly, I agree.  Hey.  I wonder if there are any stories of ghost dogs…I have to Google it…

©  Linda Wozniak

Double trouble

On this day, ten years ago,  Snuppy was born.  No.  Not Snoopy.  Snuppy.  The first dog who was cloned.  Snuppy was an Afghan Hound – and he was born in South Korea. Snuppy was even named by Time Magazine as the Most Amazing Invention of 2005.

Since then people have paid MEGA dollars to clone their pets.  One man paid over $100,000 to clone his dog.  I’m thinking my human is probably NOT going to clone me.  Can you IMAGINE a duplicate of me??!!  Pretty scary!  Actually - the thing about cloning – the animals may LOOK alike – but can act very differently.  Kind of like me and Frodo.  We’re brothers.  We look similar – but boy are we DIFFERENT.  That would be the pits to spend all that money to clone me – and get a quiet, well-behaved dog.  I mean what’s the fun in that?  I would MUCH rather my human take the $100,000 and buy a LOAD of biscuits.  If we had a spare $100,000…

Plus I don’t think we need another dog in our household.   Maybe some fish….

©   Linda Wozniak

St. George's Day...

Today is Saint George’s Day.  Well.  Not in Nova Scotia – but in England and in many European countries.  I also understand that in Newfoundland it is a holiday.  It's the next province over.  Well -across some water.  I think I am going to move there.  They get Saint Patrick’s Day AND Saint George’s Day as a holiday.  Those Newfies know how to do it right. 

Saint George supposedly slayed a dragon.  And like many saints, he was a martyr.  You do good things.  And they kill ya.  Go figure.  He’s the patron saint of England – AND the patron saint of Scouts.  My human was a Scout 100 years ago.  She still has the badges to prove it.  I notice that she didn’t get the badge for dog care back then.  Obviously it would have served her well.

Now they have badges for things like computers.  Computers didn’t exist in my human’s scouting days.  She really IS old.

So there are Boy Scouts.  And Girl Scouts.  What about Dog Scouts?  I am going to start a chapter.  And the merit badges?  Barker.  Counter surfer.  Sock stealer.  Hider.  Escapee.  Wait.  Those all sound kind of negative.  Let’s give them a better slant…  Barker will be Vocalist.  Counter Surfer -Kitchen helper.  Sock stealer - Collector.  Hider - Camouflage artist.  Escapee - Long Distance Runner.  And I want one of those sashes like my human had. 

Oh.  And I suppose I need a pledge or oath…

On my honor.  I will try.  To be a good dog.  Especially when there are treats.

Perfect.

Happy Saint Georges Day!

©  Linda Wozniak

Earth Day!!

April 22.  Earth Day!  Today is the day we should take extra time to appreciate the world we live in.  Right now, it’s the only one we have – so we SHOULD be working hard to make sure we keep it clean.  There are lots of things that humans can do to help the earth – like recycle, don’t use too much water, don’t litter, conserve energy….

We canines love the Earth.  We love to sniff it.  We love to explore it.  And we love to roll on it.  We don’t litter – I mean when we poop, we ARE basically fertilizing and recycling.  Although I’m not so sure that neighbors would agree when we do it on their lawn. 

I am QUITE happy to do my part to save water.  I don’t need that bath.  And look at the energy you save if you don’t have to use a blow dryer to dry me off!  I must remind my human that NOT grooming me HELPS the Earth!

So since today is Earth Day, go out and enjoy your environment. Take a minute to marvel at the wonderful world around you.  Smell the flowers.  Look at the clouds.  Listen to the birds.  Walk your dog.  And hug a tree.  But before your dog pees on it.

©  Linda Wozniak

She's baaaaaaaaaaack!

She’s back!  Our human has returned.  The joyful reunion included me leaping up and down – 5 feet in the air, Paxton almost knocking her over, and Frodo standing and barking at her.  Non-stop. For 5 minutes.  Now don’t get me wrong – we DO love our sitter.  But our human IS Number One!

She was supposed to get home mid-afternoon.  But she said something about weather and delayed flights and a VERY bumpy ride and so she didn’t get home until last night.  I’m not sure everything she said.  Who could hear her over Frodo’s barking.

We were VERY good while she was away!  Yes – you read that correctly.  No stolen cell phones.  No ripped dog beds.  No destroyed screen door.  Well – the door hasn’t actually been fixed yet since that last travel episode.  But we didn’t make it any worse.  Not that it could be…

Today she sadly has to go to work.  So we won’t get t play with our guilt gift until she gets home.  More NEW retrieving toys!!!  Mind you – we also do still have to wait for the snow to disappear!

Have a great day.  And don’t forget to hug your human!

©  Linda Wozniak