Steps to Rousing

So yesterday, my human had a day off.   And she thought MAYBE she could sleep in a bit.  But not in this household.  Allow me to provide canines with some suggestions on how to get humans out of bed.  I call them my Steps to Rousing Humans.
Step 1.  Jump on the bed.  Jump off the bed.  Jump on again.  If that doesn't work, go to Step 2.
Step 2.  Begin scratching your ear.  And make noises like you are in extreme discomfort.  Most humans will get up to examine your ear.  If there is nothing wrong with it, they MAY go back to bed.  If so, go to Step 3.
Step 3.  Begin licking yourself.  This often drives humans crazy - so they will sit up and tell you to stop.  Stop when they say so.  But then begin again when they lie down.  If this doesn't get them up, go to Step 4.
Step 4.  After licking yourself - go to lick THEM.  Preferably on their face.  This will USUALLY work.  BUT if they STILL are not up - resort to Step 5.  Which is not always easy to perform.
Step 5.  Begin the urky gurkies.  That telltale sound we dogs make JUST before we throw up.  GUARANTEED to get ANY human to BOLT out of bed. 

We resorted to ALL five steps yesterday.  I performed Steps 1 through 4 and called on Einstein for number 5.  He even went so far as to throw up.  But don't worry - he is fine.  I think we have come to the conclusion that marrow bones (even when chewed on for JUST 10 minutes) are a bit too much for his delicate constitution. 

Thank goodness today is Friday.  My human has to work today but tomorrow we can again engage in my Steps again...Who needs alarm clocks?!

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.