Viktor. Financial Planner.

So the other day, my human went to see her “Financial Planner” at the bank.  These are the people who supposedly know how to make money.  But I don’t get it.  If they are SO good at making money, why do they have to work?

Anyway it got me thinking that I could be a good financial planner.  And frankly, I think I have a number of ways that humans COULD save money.  There are LOADS of things that honestly, you humans just don’t need to spend money on.  Here are a few:

Teeth whitening strips. Seriously people.  You stick cellophane on your teeth and think it is doing something.  It’s not.  Trust me.  But you THINK it works – so you do it.  My advice?  Save your money and chew a bone.  Works for us dogs.

Jewelry.  Another money waster.  Buy ONE nice collar – something neutral so it goes with a lot of apparel – and that’s good enough.

Blow dryers.  Well you KNOW my opinion about baths in general.  I’m all about saving water.  But if you MUST take a bath or shower, do like Taylor Swift says and “Shake it off.”  That’s what we canines do.

Forks.  OK humans.  You have an advantage over us.  You have hands.  So just PICK UP your food.  Why bother with the whole fork thing?   Now I understand the spoons for things like soup – but really - you COULD just tip the bowl.

Dishwashers.  Just give the dirty plates to us.  We will be QUITE happy to clean them for you.  Another cost cutter.

Paper shredders.  Honestly this is ANOTHER one to get rid of.  Give the papers to us.  We will make mincemeat of them.  Easy.

Toilet paper.  Why do you think God made leaves?  THINK of the money you will save on this one!

These are just a FEW I have quickly observed.  Stay tuned for more cost saving tips from your new Financial Planner. Viktor.  The PON.

©  Linda Wozniak