Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Vote for Viktor


September 23.  National Dogs in Politics Day.  I kid you not.  It’s about time.  I’ve been saying for MONTHS that I need to run for political office.  I just need to decide which one…

In the US, there is the Presidential election.  It is in the news EVERY SINGLE day.  And the WORST part – the election isn’t even until NEXT November.  Yes. November 2016!!!!!!!!  So these things that they call debates – where a bunch of adult humans stand up and argue with each other like a bunch of 3 year old humans who have been told that the one who shouts the loudest will get the last cookie – will CONTINUE to go on for MONTHS. It’s hard to believe it is real. 

Oh and the same thing is going on in Canada too.  The election is for the Prime Minister.  The only difference with this circus is that it will be OVER on October 19, 2015. 

I guess no matter what office I am planning to run for, I need a party. How about Canines Around the World. CAW.  Nah – sounds like a bunch of crows…Canine Reformist Autonomy Party? CRAP.  Nah – that’s not very nice sounding. The Canine Reform Party? CARP.  Nah – sounds fishy to me.  Dogs Really Are Best.  DRAB.  That doesn’t work either.  Canine Liberty Independence Party.  CLIP.  Hmmmmm…  I’m not loving it – since it does have grooming connotations, but it does have a catchy ring.  I’ll have to keep working on it.

And my campaign promises.  Every candidate has to promise things – most of which they never actually deliver.  Let’s see….

I will:
·      Help to shut down puppy mills
·      Support research for canine health problems
·      Focus on the environment by willingly shredding all papers for easier recycling
·      Ensure that all dogs can obtain veterinary care through affordable insurance
·      Increase taxes to grooming supply companies
·      Reduce taxes to companies that produce dog food, dog treats, and dog toys

I think that’s a great start.  Want to join my party?  Free treats for joining…

Oh - and Happy First Official Day of Fall!!! Let the colors begin!

©  Linda Wozniak

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