Xmas Wardrobe Malfunction.

Well. Here we go again. My human managed to dig out those brutal red antler photos from last year and they are again circulating the internet. Ha Ha. Humbug. And of COURSE, she had to attempt a similar shot THIS year. I KNEW it when I saw the bag from the dreaded Dollar Store last week. But this year, I am calling the photos the “Xmas wardrobe malfunction.”

You see, everything at the Emporium for Torturous Canine Holiday Attire was made for LITTLE dogs this year. The size dogs you carry around in your purse. CLEARLY that doesn’t describe ANYONE in THIS household. There were TINY Santa hats – none of which would work for us. Yes, she COULD have purchased a human version – but let’s face it –without any strap to hold the things on our heads, that was not going to work. And while she delights in outfitting us, she is not prepared to take time to actually SEW outfits for us. Thank GOD for small miracles.

Anyway, she did manage to find a red and white colored bomber hat that she thought might work for Paxton. And she also found these brown antler things with a matching collar for Frodo. And for me. While she was a bit skeptical about the size, for some godforsaken reason she THOUGHT they would stretch.

As soon as we saw the Dollar Store bag AND the extra yummy treats ,which accompany these photo shoots, we KNEW what was coming next. Which sends ALL of us into a FRENZY. Paxton tries to run away, and I become like a wild snapping turtle – grabbing at any attire I can get my teeth on. Want to get that collar thingy with the bells on it over my head – GOOD LUCK. Frodo is a BIT more compliant and his barking decreased somewhat after the collar was on – probably because the stupid thing was choking him. OK. It wasn’t THAT bad – I shouldn’t say that - before someone reports my human to Animal Control. Mind you the ridiculous attire IS reason to report her…let alone the choking.

Once the collars were on, we were all let loose outside. And then the enticement to come and sit began – while she waved the yummy treats in front of us. So we sat. But then came the final step – putting on the head gear. Paxton didn’t seem to care – he thought he was cool because he didn’t have antlers this year. Lucky him. Our antlers had a strap with velcro that had to be STRETCHED to fit under our chin. Clearly these antlers were made for dogs with smaller heads. Hence the squished faces. And the floppy antlers....

So what you see are the best of the 1,298 shots taken. In some, Paxton is without his attire. Because I kept pulling it off. That fuzzy red hat was just TOO much for me to ignore.

My human is not TOTALLY pleased with these results – but even SHE admits that the attire wasn’t great. I’m just hoping she doesn’t think about visiting a DIFFERENT Dollar Store…

Enjoy. I'm sure you will!


Paxton: When I open my eyes, maybe those two things behind me with the antlers will have disappeared.

Paxton: Thanks Viktor for pulling off my hat! Viktor: Yeah - and it would be nice if you returned the favor. Frodo: My field of vision is decreasing.....