Friday, October 7, 2016

How do you spell crazy? E-L-R-O-Y



He's crazy.  Elroy IS crazy. I am convinced of it.  He gets these "spurts" when he just goes flat out, looney-tunes-squirrel-nutso-Hannibal-Lecter-Johnny-from-the-Shining, C-R-A-Z-Y.  And LOOK OUT when that Tasmanian devil appears. It is like a combination of a cyclone and a shark feeding frenzy.

The other day my human came home from work and we all went for a run down to the lake.  Me with my bell and Jaws with his Dollar Store long line.  He rips through the woods and along the trail and has a care-free speed demon race.  We returned back to the house huffing and puffing and anxious for our supper.  All three accounted for. 

We ate our meals, my human made some food for herself and we sat around her waiting to see if there would be any leftovers.   No such luck.  She ate all her pasta. 

She cleaned up the dishes and then she told us it was play time.  First she took Jaws out and played ball with him until he decided the Jolly Ball was more tasty than retrieveable.  So she put Jaws in the dog run, and brought Frodo and I out for a game of fetch.  And Jaws watched us.  Actually, Frodo didn't feel like retrieving - so every time my human would throw the bumper a long distance for me, she would do obedience work with Frodo while I went to get it.  This woman knows how to multi-task.  Heave bumper, get other dog to do a recall, take bumper, heave bumper, ask other dog to heel, take bumper, heave bumper, practice signals with other dog....You get the idea.  And Jaws was watching all the proceedings.  With GREAT interest.

So when I was finally starting to slow down after about 400 retrieves, and Frodo didn't feel like doing any more obedience work, my human put the two of us PONs in the house.  And she went to let Jaws out of the run.  Now. Ordinarily she immediately attaches his long line. And he sits and waits. But he was pretty keyed up after watching Frodo and I.   So as she went to open the door to the run and bent down to get the line, he burst out and OFF he went.  It was like the helium balloon with a pin in it scenario. He raced past her, grabbed his Jolly Ball, and he was GONE. G-O-N-E.  Into the woods.  With my human in hot pursuit.  But the area of woods that he entered is VERY dense.  She couldn't even walk through it without potentially putting out an eye.  So she decided to go another direction to a path where she could cut him off.  She could hear him crashing about through the woods and sure enough, she caught him as he came out where she had anticipated.  Minus one Jolly Ball.

So she attached the long line while he snapped at her like a piranha on speed.  He was clearly OUT-OF-CONTROL.  I call it a puppy brain-fart meltdown.  She somehow managed to wrestle him and get the line on him and he ran to the end of it.  Then he raced toward her and catapulted off her leg.  He raced out and ran back at her.  She dodged as he raced by. She then began to reel him in like some kind of sport fisherman landing a 1000 lb tuna.  She kept shouting "Just be calm."  FINALLY he settled down.  Now.  Where was the Jolly Ball?  Clearly the name needs to be changed.  She decided to tie Jaws to the tree on the lawn - the one with the 2 foot hole underneath it that he likes to dig.  He has never actually been tied to the tree, but my human figured it would be fine while she went into the woods.  He sat and watched her as she made her way into the woods and through the dense brush - breaking branches as she went.  Where was that blasted ball?  Ah.  She could see it ahead.  She was crouched over trying to make her way through the maze of branches and just as she went to pick up the ball, she felt a tug at her jacket from behind.  She thought she had caught it on a branch.  Nope.  Guess who?  The piranha.  Here's the deal - those clips on the Dollar Store long lines cannot be trusted. 

She spun around and took him by the collar.  She had to get back through the brush holding onto a now bucking bronco.  While also holding onto the oh-so-not-Jolly-ball. She managed to make her way out of the woods and onto the lawn.  And there she released her death grip and heaved the ball as hard as she could.  He raced out for it, grabbed it, headed for her and at the last second veered around her as if he was going to go back in the woods.  "STOP" she cried.  And miracle of miracles, he did.  She struggled to loop the broken-clip long line around his collar, while he was licking her face.  Then they trotted back into the house.  Well - he did.  Hers was more like a trudge.

And by the time they got back in the house, Frodo and I were all ready and raring for another game of fetch!  While my human continued to mutter "Just be calm" as she collapsed on the couch. 

He's crazy I tell ya.  Totally crazy!

Never EVER a dull moment in OUR house!
Happy Friday!



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