So today let’s talk about routines…
For the past few days our human has been
gone – and there have been some changes in our routines. Our sitter doesn’t KNOW our routines – like
our human does and while it IS our job to teach her, and she HAS been here before,
it isn’t always the same as when our
human is here. It’s fine. But it’s different. And WE have to adapt. Which makes me just a little bit
annoyed. Because frankly, when our human
returns, SHE expects US to return to our routines. Well, yesterday I decided I
wasn’t haven’t any of it. I was going to
be a rebel and break a routine. And to
tell the truth, I WAS just a little bit mad that we didn’t get to go on the
trip. But before I tell you about what I
did, let me give you some examples of the routines in our day.
1. WE wake up our human. Usually around 6 AM, but with this time
change thing, we were shooting for 5 AM for a few weeks.
2. Frodo begins his morning
barking. Which, as I have described
before, takes place whenever our human is not within squirt gun range.
3. We sit obediently (sometimes)
and wait while our human puts our food bowls down.
4. We eat – during which Frodo is
silent – and then we go for our morning walks.
5. We pee and poop. Every morning. Even in the rain – although as we know – that
IS a challenge…
6. We yogibeg (v. the act of longingly staring at our human in the
hopes that she will allow us to lick her yoghurt container) while our human has
her breakfast and then we allow her to finish her breakfast once she has
complied with our request.
7. We allow her to
shower – although as we have discussed, Frodo does, at times, continue his
morning bark-a-long.
8. We prepare to begin
our duties as guard dogs – which really means we get ready to sleep!
We have other routines – like Frodo INSISTING
on springboarding off our human’s stomach whenever she is carrying our food
dishes. He and our human have this dance
routine – she steps back when he is about to launch himself, and tells him no. He steps back and then steps forward to
launch himself. It’s a wonder we ever
eat at all. Oh, and he succeeds 75% of
the time. At springing off her stomach.
And we still have MANY other routines – but
these give you a picture of how our day begins.
Well yesterday, our human took us out for our morning walk. But what she didn’t know, is that I had
convinced the guys to break the poop routine – kind of as a statement and protest about our
human not taking us to the conference.
We ALL agreed we would NOT do our morning poop. So our human took Frodo and me first for our
walk. We walked ALL the way down the
road. And ALL the way back home. Frodo kept looking at me, as if to indicate
that this REALLY wasn’t such a good idea.
But I gave him the stare. So we
walked ALL the way back down the road again.
And ALL the way back home. At
this point, our human must have said “hurry up” about 4 million times. But I think she was on to us. I figured we would get another long walk –
but she pulled our bluff and headed for the house. And at the LAST minute, Frodo bailed on the
plan – and gave in. Or out. Anyway, he pooped. And got LOTS of treats.
She put us in the house, and took Paxton
out, who IMMEDIATELY bailed on the plan.
Which left yours truly as the last dog standing.
I finally DID poop in the afternoon and in
retrospect, I’m not sure that this was the best radical plan for
breaking routines and making a statement.
I mean, my stomach was a bit queasy by the afternoon. But I held my poop, er my ground, and I made
my point. Which I’m not really sure what
the point was any more. But anyway, I made it.
Literally. And figuratively. And
today, well…I’m thinking that I won’t do that again. I think that going back to our regular routine is a good idea. And while I WAS annoyed with our human for going away, I really
am glad that she is home. Very glad. But don’t tell
her. It will be our little secret. Gotta go - Frodo is barking. Time for some breakfast!
©
2014 Linda Wozniak
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