Saturday, July 30, 2016

Getting ready...


Well my human is on her way.  And we will wait in anticipation.   While we party all weekend long.  Drinking beer.  Chasing rabbits.  Playing cards.  Eating treats.  Chasing rabbits.  Eating treats. Hanging out on the sofa in the former DFZ.  And planning how I am going to train my puppy.

I am starting to write his training manual.
Lesson 1- When humans are training you to do something - like sit, they will give you lots of treats.  Pretend you do not know what they want you to do - because the longer you hold out, the more treats you get. Finally, give in and start doing what they want.  They will be so happy because they will think they have trained you.  But we know the truth.

Lesson 2 - Learn the Stare Down.  I wrote about this is one of my earliest blogs.  There are numerous variations of this behavior - but the introductory level is simply staring at a human when she is eating.  And look as if you haven't eaten in several weeks.  Even if you just had your dinner. And even let out a mournful tiny little squeak.  But not too loudly as that can be annoying.  If you do this well, you are guaranteed to get some little leftover morsel of human food.  And if the human food is not fit for canine consumption, you will get a dog treat.  The very best time to do this, though, is when you have guests.  

Lesson 3 - Rabbits are meant to be chased.  And so are birds.  But not ducks.  And watch out for porcupines too.

That's just the beginning of my manual.  I have a lot of work to do before he gets here....

Have a great day!

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