Taking Dog Photos. For Humans.

So some people ask my human how she manages to get good photos of me – and my brothers. I have decided to share some of her strategies.  Now keep in mind, for every GOOD photo you see posted, 4,561,328 OTHER shots were also taken.  OK.  Maybe not THAT many.  But certainly more than 10.

So the first step in getting a good dog shot is to tire us out.  Play ball.  Take us for a walk.  And whatever you do – do NOT attempt to take photos immediately BEFORE mealtime.  Especially with us PONs.  If we THINK it is near mealtime, there is NO way we can sit still.  Tired or not tired. And it is not a good idea to try immediately AFTER mealtime. At that point we are satisfied, and may not be interested in the fabulously yummy treats you have in your pocket.  Well. That may be true for some dogs.  We PONs can eat ANY time.  But fabulously yummy treats ARE a KEY ingredient in the photo shoot.  It has to be something like….cheese.  We LOVE cheese.

So after we are tired out, take us to the photo spot and position us.  It is critical that all dogs UNDERSTAND a basic “sit-stay” command.  Mind you, that does NOT ensure we will actually DO it.  Position us where you want us, and then the real fun begins – particularly if you are trying to photograph more than ONE dog at the same time.  Position us and then slowly step back to take the photo.  Now you must begin to repeat our names.  Multiple times. And you must do it while changing the pitch of your voice.  You should also make strange sounds.  If you have a whistle or some other sound making device – like a kazoo - do it quickly and be PREPARED.  It is at that INSTANT that you will get ears up and strange but adorable expressions.  But the bottom line – once you have done it, you may not get that expression again.  We QUICKLY catch on – and will begin to display picnore.  That behavior where we KNOW you are trying to get our photo and we will do everything in our power to ignore you.  We will look up.  Down.  We will sniff the ground.  We will sniff each other.

So after your weird sound strategy, I still have another option.  I might add that throughout this process, no matter if you get good photos or not, IF we stay in place, we MUST be rewarded with the yummy treats.  MULTIPLE times.

Your next option, when we are COMPLETELY exhibiting picnore, is to throw something.  Now this is an art in itself.  My human threw a rock up in the air once and narrowly missed her own head.  Did I ever mention she is not terribly coordinated?  Anyway, throw the rock/stick/ wad of dirt BEHIND you.  It is not advisable to use a fetch toy as this can result in a stampede – and you will be in the direct path of the oncoming traffic.

So after you take your 4 million plus photos – and I might add – do NOT look at the photos right away, while we wait because we will think the photo shoot is OVER, and we will run away.  Then just TRY to round us up again.

So as you finally sit down and look through the photos, you will find the following:

·      One or more dogs look happy and another looks grumpy

·      One or more dogs are NOT looking at the camera

·      One or more dogs has his eyes shut (THIS is Paxton’s forte’)

·      One or more dogs has his tongue out – but NOT in a cute gesture

But every now and then, the more you do this, the better you will get – and you will record that perfect image.   

 You CAN also get candid shots of us – when we are not aware you are taking them.  It is probably easier to get those shots with a real camera – my human just uses her phone for our portrait shots.

But the bottom line – you must have PATIENCE (a glass of wine before photo shoots can be helpful) and don’t forget – if you want US to say “cheese” – you had better have some on hand!

© Linda Wozniak