Icky bum

OK.  Warning.  This story is a bit graphic.  So if you are eating, read it later…It’s a poopy tale.  Or is it a poopy tail?   I guess it is both.  Literally.

So on Saturday AND Sunday I got to go for a run with my buddy Jackson, from up the road. And yes, I took off on Saturday.  And guess what?!  I did it again on Sunday.  In the same area.  Shoulda put me on a leash.  But I DID eventually come back again.

So on Monday morning, my human agreed to meet our neighbor again – before work, for another run.  Her schedule was flexible on Monday – but that’s the LAST flexible day for a few weeks.  She’s entering a “busy” time at work.  Or so she tells me.  Suuuuuure she is.  Anyway, since my human knew she didn’t have a lot of time to chase me IF I took off, she decided to take the “good” dog.  Yup.  She took FRODO.  Paxton and I had a long walk first, and then FRODO got to meet MY buddy.

So off they go.  My human, the neighbor, Jackson and Frodo.  Just as they are about to start their run – and my human is about to take Frodo off his leash, he decides to poop.  And Jackson decides he needs to check it out.  At which point, Mr. Modesty – who usually poops in the MIDDLE of the road, stops pooping.  But it’s clear he needs to go.  So when Jackson walks away, he attempts again.  But, for SOME reason, he can’t go.  Probably with everyone watching him,  he can’t poop.  And he won’t walk.  And he’s squatting.  And squeaking.  At which point, my human decides to take a look to see what’s going on.  Let’s just say, he needed some help.  Which rarely happens to him.  And my human’s “help” resulted in what we call “icky bum.”  After the assistance, he was ready and raring to run.  Icky bum and all.  But now my human figured she would have to cut the hour-long walk short – as Mr. Icky Bum was going to require some bathing when he got home. They agree to cut the route short.  So they are racing around and then – are you ready for this – Mr. “Good Dog Icky Bum” TOOK off – in the SAME area I had disappeared.  Seriously.  He had not been there in MONTHS – but he remembered.  And when he emerged, he not only had an icky bum, but it was now full of dirt and sticks too!!!  Lovely.  And the sun was shining.  And the birds were chirping. And he was happy.  But my human?  Not so much.

So “poor” Frodo needed a bath when he got home.  Tee-hee.  And my human had to rush like CRAZY to get ready for work. 

That’s what she gets for taking Frodo instead of me.  Just sayin’.

©  Linda Wozniak