Today, May 9 is National Lost Sock Memorial
Day. Seriously. I couldn’t make this one up.
Now you humans know all about the
phenomenon of lost socks. It happens all
the time. It is kind of like magic. They just disappear. Somewhere.
You start out with a pair. You go
to do laundry. And poof. One is gone.
To sock heaven.
But in our household, lost socks could have
a much less mysterious reason for their disappearance. It's called Paxton. The Bernese Sock Monster. Any time my human does laundry, she does a
careful pre-wash and then post-wash count.
Paxton has been one of several Bernese she has owned who likes to eat
inedible objects. You may recall that
Paxton ate my human’s sling from her broken arm last winter. Another Bernese she owned ate socks. And mittens.
And one time, a BUNCH of stuff.
That time he had to have surgery.
When the Vet showed my human the bag of “stuff” after the surgery, my
human asked if it was a record. He said
“yes”. She asked if there was a prize –
of a free surgery. No such luck.
Last year, before the sling incident,
Paxton managed to get a hold of 3 pairs of leather gloves. And yours truly was with him. We broke into a closet. My human discovered the carnage quickly and
decided she could do only one thing. Get
the gloves back. The proper dosage of
hydrogen peroxide will usually help in “returning” the lost clothing. Sure enough. One dose, and Paxton became the
canine gumball machine – spitting out those gloves. Yours truly sadly suffered from guilt by association
– but the contents of MY stomach was free of any remnants. Frodo didn’t undergo the purging – he’s too
good to eat inedibles.
Given the record of eating inedibles in
this house, it sounds like my human isn’t diligent when it comes to guarding
things. Let me assure you. She IS.
And if a sock disappears, like they normally do in most households, she
will search for days. And things are NOT
routinely accessible to us. But all it
takes is a pair of gloves on a counter- left there for a minute. Or a dropped sock on the way to the laundry…
Today we take a moment to remember all
those lost items. And we hope, that if
they disappeared with the help of a canine…that they WILL one day
reappear. If you know what I mean…
©
Linda Wozniak
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