OK. It must be dog show season. Why? The hacksaw has come out. Now I'm sure you are asking what do hacksaws and dog shows have to do with one another? And I ask - Doesn't everyone preparing for a dog show need a hacksaw? Well you have to know my human. She fancies herself as a bit of a "handywoman." She tries to repair things with often unsuccessful results. You may recall the time she stood on a snow bank 10 feet off the ground trying to remove snow from the roof with a kayak paddle. And it didn't work. Although she was successful in loosening some roofing shingles. Or the time she "changed" an electrical socket and blew out the motor on a brand new fancy shmancy dog blow dryer - the kind that has a jet engine. And then the time she used the hacksaw to make the table legs shorter on the grooming table. The fancy grooming table with the wheels that SHOULD make transporting things into and out of show sites easier - but in fact is more difficult because the thing weighs 150lbs. And the legs keep dragging on the ground. She cut the legs because they were too tall to use with Bernese. Then she started showing us PONs and the legs are now too short. Not to mention wobbly...
So this weekend the Halifax Kennel Club is holding their first show of the season. And rumor has it a Picard will be making his debut in the conformation ring. So my human went into the garage aka grooming torture palace aka storage room aka graveyard for old dog crates. She had to decide which crate to take. Hmmmm....Not this one. Too small. Not this one. Too heavy. Hey - how about this soft sided crate? The FANCY one. With the panels that go up and down on each side. The Canine Camper. She took it out and zipped up the sides. Unfortunately, the heavy internal wire that holds the crate up was broken on one end. So the crate would kind of stand, but was equally likely to collapse on that end. Hmmmm. She needed something to brace the end. Hey how about one of those metal poles that were SUPPOSED to be put out BEFORE the snow came? The ones that go along the sides of the driveway so the plow guy would know where to plow. Clearly that didn't happen. So one of those would work - but they were too long. So out came the hacksaw. She cut the first two too short, even though she had "measured" the size she needed. So she cut another one, braced it inside the crate and voila - a perfect new home for the FG at the show. She was all excited. So she went to get the FG to show him. He waltzed into the garage, trotted toward the crate and put the brakes on. There was NO way he was going in that thing. She threw treats in. The brakes stayed firmly locked. So only one thing to do - she went in it. Here she was sitting inside the crate while the FG raced around it outside. I'm telling you - we should be a reality TV show.
Long story short, the FG eventually tried to join her in the crate. Then she got out and he went in and lay down on his own. Perfect. Problem solved. Now to pack it up. And then, like a lightning bolt she realized something. This is the dog who, at EVERY chance he gets, tries to chew things. The carpet. The sofa. The chair rails. AND the hard sided pony-sized crate in the dining room. Does she HONESTLY think he will just lie there in his crate quietly and content and NOT chew?
The decision about which crate is going is still open to debate. There IS a huge plastic version - also found in the graveyard- (other than the pony-sized one) that she would have to assemble when she gets there because it is too big for the vehicle. But all her work with the hacksaw would have been in vain. Decisions. Decisions.
I'm telling you one thing - there is NEVER a dull moment in THIS house. We couldn't make this stuff up. Oh. And by the way - I have hidden the power tools. For her own safety.
Have a good one.
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