The Chaos Room

So we are renaming one of the rooms in the house.  Some humans call it the bathroom, or the washroom, or the restroom or the loo!  I am renaming it the "chaos" room.  And not because chaos happens IN the room - but because it happens OUTSIDE the room when humans are in there.  At least in our house.

You see, when my human goes in there, to use the toilet (sorry for being blunt, but if you can talk about our daily peeing and pooping I think it's only fair to address human behavior), or to shower or to wash her hands, we find that it is THE perfect opportunity to DO something undesirable.  Chaos.  And we simply do it so our human will come out.  Faster.

For example,  when my human is in the chaos room:  

• It is the PERFECT time to lick and style Frodo's hair.  And I will do it right outside the chaos room door - so my human can be sure to hear me.  She cannot STAND when I do that so she must come out to stop me.
• Or - I will go in her walk-in closet.  The door doesn't quite latch - and it creaks when it opens.  We are not supposed to go in the closet as it holds a treasure trove of items...shoes, slippers, purses and assorted other things that don't fit in dresser drawers. Almost EVERY time my human is in the chaos room, I try to wander into the mystery closet.  And my human HEARS me go in, because of the creaky door.  At which point she shouts "Viktor get out of there."  She doesn't even need to see who it is.  She knows the "good dog" wouldn't wander in.
• It is also great fun to simply start barking when she is in the chaos room. For no reason.  It makes our human WONDER if someone is at the door.  The good dog is great at this.

And speaking of the good dog, he DID demonstrate some chaos the other night. Earlier in the evening we were playing with one of those incredibly expensive dog board games.  The ones my human...er...Santa brought for Christmas two years ago.   Dogs are supposed to figure out how to open little drawers to get  a treat.  We were playing - and I FINALLY figured out the two step version - you have to pull out a peg which THEN opens the treat drawer.  And of course you have to select the right drawer.  Frodo just scratches uncontrollably at the whole game board.  My human can't leave the pegs in for him - he has no patience.  Anyway, I was wonderful the other night.  I played great.  And after we were done, my human put the game with the other boring...er...exciting games on a side table in the bedroom.  

So as my human was getting ready for bed, and she was in the chaos room brushing her teeth, she heard a loud crash in the bedroom.  She rushed out to see what the commotion was.  The "good dog" THOUGHT there MIGHT be treats left over in the game board, so he pulled it and all the games came crashing down.  Score one for Velcro dog.

So I think we have been successful in renaming most of the rooms in the house:  the living room or Dog Free Zone is now known as the Dog Comfort Zone, the kitchen is the Canine Buffet, the garage or grooming room is called the Torture chamber and the bathroom is the Chaos room.  

And who says humans are in charge?

Have a good one.  I know I will!   It's Friday!

©  Linda Wozniak