Friday, September 9, 2016

Inside the brain...



So what EXACTLY goes on in the brain of Jaws?  I mean we KNOW he has the attention span of a gnat.  Training sessions with him can only last about 3.7 minutes.  Otherwise he just walks away.  And that nail trimming exercise?  That is THE ultimate test in patience for my human.  Let's just say those nails are getting longer each day. She manages to MAYBE trim 1/1,000 of an inch off a couple of nails.  Progress is very, VERY slow.

Unlike the thoughts in Jaws' brain.  Which are FAR from slow.  If one were to see what his mind is thinking, it would look something like this...

"That's a cool bone.  I must chew on it.  Chew. Chew. Chew.  Wait.  The big fuzzy white one is walking by.  Must chew his tail.  Must bite his ears.  Must bark.  Must chew.  Must bark.  Must chew.  Wait.  I never noticed THAT bone before.  Must chew.  Wait.  I'm thirsty.  Must drink. Must drink.  Stop.  Is there something in the water?  Must stare.  Must stare.  Muuuuust put foot in the water.  Must splash.  Drat.  The human stopped me.  Must chew bone she gave me.  Wait.  I wonder how the outside of my plastic kennel tastes.  Must chew.  Must chew.  Wait.  I never noticed THAT bone before.  Must chew.  Wait.  These table legs are made of wood.  Must chew.  Must take the bone the human has given me.  Wait.  Those socks the human is wearing sure look tasty.  Must chew.  Wait.  Why are the other two canines running to the kitchen.  Must line up.  But  don't know why.  What's this yellow stuff called banana?  Must chew.  Must spit.  Must chew.  Must spit.  Must roll.  Must chew before other canine steals this thing. Hmmm.  Feeling tired.  Must lie down.  OK.  Enough of that.  Must explore.  Hmm...the gate to the DFZ has been secured.  Must try to figure out how to get in.  Wait.  I'm thirsty.  Must drink.  I need to pee.  Must stand and stare at door.  Must sit while leash is being put on.  Wait.  I don't think I really need to pee.  Wait - what's that on the sidewalk?  A rock.  Must chew.  Must trade for something my human has pulled from her pocket.  Must walk on wet lawn.  Must pull to go BACK in the house.  Must find the big fuzzy white one.  Must bark.  Must pull clumps of hair.  Must chew hair.  Wait.  I never noticed THAT bone before.  Wait.  This carpet is so chewable.  Wait.  Here she comes with that Bitter Apple stuff.  Must grab human pant leg as she turns to walk away. Wait.  Must look at that other grey fuzzy one.  Must play bow and bark.  Wait.  I never noticed THAT bone before.  Wait.  Must nudge human while she if attempting to eat.  Must look adorable so she will pet me.  Must chew her sleeve while she pets me.  Must continue to look adorable while doing so."

Yes.  That's a look at 15 minutes in the brain of Elroy.  If you're just tired reading this - IMAGINE living with him.  AND us PONs!

As I always say, NEVER a dull moment!

Hope YOUR day isn't dull!

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