Thursday, December 1, 2016

Dear Santa. Part 2.





This is Part 2 in my continuing correspondence with the Jolly guy. Today is December 1 - so I really need to get working on this thing...

Dear Santa,

So I have introduced myself to you, and I think it only proper that I ask you a few questions.  I hope you don't mind.

Of course, the most pressing question that would come to my mind:    Are you owned by a dog?  I figure a guy as nice as you MUST have a dog but I've never seen a dog or a crate in your sleigh - so I'm just wondering.  I know that you are a busy guy during the holidays, which would mean your dog wouldn't get lots of walks - but mind you - you DO have lots of elves to help out.  We need an elf sometimes.  But not that creepy guy who sits on the shelf - I'm afraid if given the chance, one of us would rip the limbs off him...

Anyway, back to your dog.  I'm guessing you would have something like a Siberian Husky or Alaskan Malamute.  For obvious reasons.  I'm not seeing a Mexican hairless trudging through the snow at the North pole.

And speaking of Poles...I have another question, and it's about your background.  Now I know Saint Nicholas - your predecessor- was a bishop from Asia Minor (which is now Turkey)- but given the attire you wear, I'm wondering if there is some Polish in you. The red and white is a dead giveaway.  You don't have to tell me your nationality - I suppose you have LOTS of different backgrounds - but you can give me a hint - tell me - do you like Kielbasa?  I'll leave a plate for you.  But keep an eye on your weight Santa - it sometimes looks like you've had a one too many pieces of Babka.  Keep an eye on that cholesterol....

Oh...and sorry about those cookies I left last year.  We ate them before you got here.  But it's the thought that counts, right? 

So tell me, what exactly do you do in the "off season?"  Golf?  Hike?  Go to dog shows?

And Santa - I know you cover the whole world on Christmas eve night.  That's a lot of territory.  And a long ride.  I just have to know - where do you stop for "rest stops?"....

And one more for today - exactly how long before Christmas does someone have to get OFF the naughty list and ONTO the nice list?  Just looking at my timeline...

To be continued... 

 

  

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