Resolutions...

The last day of 2014.  New Year’s Eve.  And we are ready to parteeeee.  But honestly, every day for us dogs is like New Year’s Eve.  We don’t need a date on the calendar to celebrate. We celebrate EVERY day. 

In going along with this whole human New Year’s tradition, I thought that perhaps I should come up with some New Year’s resolutions. So here we go:

1.     Get my very own Facebook page. I have my own blog, so I think it’s time I get my own page on Facebook.  And my goal is 14 Likes by May.

2.     Stop running off into the woods.  OK.  That’s probably a bit lofty.  How about stop running off into the woods for more than 10 minutes.  Better.

3.     Stop counter surfing.  Hmmm…again maybe a bit much.  How about stop counter surfing when there is a full moon.  Better.

4.     Do not chew on the new dog bed.  When my human is watching.  Good one.

5.     Do not lick Frodo or Paxton’s face.  If it is dinner time.  Another good one.

6.     Do not steal bones or toys from Frodo or Paxton.  Especially when I have already hoarded all the other bones and toys….

7.     Do not look longingly at the garage door where the dog food is stored.  Every 10 minutes.  Try for every twenty minutes.

8.     Make every effort NOT to knock out my human when I am jumping repeatedly while waiting to go out the front door.

9.     Do not chase rabbits or foxes…. on the third Thursday of every month.

10.  Agree to poop in the rain at least once a month.

I think those ten resolutions will be a pretty good start for 2015.  If I’m like most humans, I will give them up before the end of January.  At least I didn’t say I would start going to the gym!

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

©  2014  Linda Wozniak

How to be adorable. In asking for forgiveness.

We all know that I can sometimes…er…many times….be a rather naughty dog.  And if I HAVE been naughty, it is CRITICAL to win my human’s favor back – as soon as caninely possible.  And I do it by becoming SUPER cuddly and by uttering the CUTEST sounds that are SURE to make my human laugh.  I could give lessons on this behavior.  I am THE best at doing it.  Yes, Paxton, in all his 100 lbs of love, DOES like to be cuddly – which often results in some type of bruises on our human.  And Frodo, well he is rarely naughty, so he doesn’t have need for “make-up” behavior.  He will wag his tail and he likes to be petted for about 20 seconds and then he is off to do something else.  Like read.  But me – I have a whole different technique.  I snuggle right next to my human.  Especially if she is sitting on the sofa.  OR if I sneak up on the bed.  And then I moan and groan these quiet little sounds.  Not a squeaky sound – which is like whining.  No.  I have a baritone humming sound which so just so cute – no one can resist me.  And if in a supine position, it is important to raise your paws in the air as well.  Trust me.  This cuteness routine will render forgiveness from a whole host of bad behaviors.  Some MIGHT call this manipulative.  I call it smart.  

And it really works.  Even if you pooped on the floor - when you have not done so since you were a puppy.  While your human was downstairs. And you were the ONLY one upstairs. Yup. Roll, put those feet up and moan.  Right after your human has uttered that ridiculous question "what did you do?"  Even after such a horrible mistake, your human cannot stay unhappy with you if you try this behavior.

Not to mention the fact that I am just plain adorable – if I do say so myself - so WHO can resist me?!  THANK goodness - or I would be finding myself in the Want Ads looking for a new home!  Frequently....

©  2014  Linda Wozniak

The new bed...

OK. The new dog bed has been assembled.  After much wailing and gnashing of teeth.  It’s a Kuranda bed – and it’s the one that has an aluminum frame.  And super tough fabric to lie on.  It’s like a human bed.  Well – a bed like someone might have at camp.

Assembly took about 16 hours.  Or it felt like it did.  Every time the humans got to the last piece, it wouldn’t fit.  My human was very close to putting it in the box and sending it back.  Anyway, it was finally assembled.  And my human, who CLEARLY doesn’t have a good memory, also purchased a fleece pad for the top – kind of like a mattress.  Of course as soon as I stepped on the bed, I IMMEDIATELY attempted to rip the fleece.  I mean IMMEDIATELY.  My human shouted “hey – stop it!”  I did – long enough for her to take the photo.

It doesn’t look like she will be able to leave us with the mattress pad – unattended.  And we’ll SEE if we use it without the pad.  It’s nice that our human is so happy that she got the bed –but seriously, I’m not certain it was the best money spent. 

And speaking of money spent – wait until I tell you about our OTHER new toys that we got for Christmas.  Now THAT is interesting – and definitely worth the money.  Bwhahahahahahaha. Humans.

©  2014 Linda Wozniak

The Pyramid.

The Dog Pyramid.  One of our Christmas gifts.  The Pyramids in Egypt are incredible structures that have stood for eons.  We’ll see if the Dog Pyramid will similarly stand the test of time.  And the test of us.

Frodo was the first to try the Pyramid.  You put treats in it and there is a hole near the top.  Because the pyramid is bottom heavy,  it stands upright.  Making it a challenge to get those treats out.  Frodo figured out the key to getting the treats within about 2 minutes.  It was NO time before he was batting the thing around the rec room, treats were flying everywhere and he was cleaning them up like a vacuum cleaner. 

Then it was MY turn.  It took me a LITTLE longer to get the idea – but then I got so excited about knocking it around, that I didn’t even stop to eat the treats as they came out.  It was a pyramid-knocking frenzy.

Then it was Paxton’s turn.  As we know, Paxton has an even shorter attention span than I do – so my human had to show him how to get the treats out.  Several times.  But then he figured out that if he carried it around, THAT was even more fun.  My human had visions of the pyramid being destroyed on its inaugural trial – but it didn’t break.  Yet.  If this toy sees the New Year, we will be doing commercials for it.  It DOES seem well made - and it is tougher to get out the treats than the round treat balls we had in the past.

By the time each of us had our turn, we were panting and tired out.  Which IS the objective of the toy – at least from our human’s point of view!  Just make sure you use it in a room where there are no Ming vases or antique china on the tables – as it does become a bit like roller derby when we get going.  Time will tell if this pyramid will last – but so far, so good!!!

©  2014 Linda Wozniak

Presents...

So let me tell you about my presents...I guess Santa chose to ignore much of my less-than-desirable behavior this year - and I got a BUNCH of gifts. Well. I suppose they were not ALL for me - I just take them all. Maybe THAT'S why there were so many.  I am supposed to share. I'll have to work on that...

In the photos you see one of our gifts- a new set of retrieving toys!!!!  I LOVE them. But then, you could give me a rotten stick to retrieve and I'd be happy! Frodo brought it back a few times and then pretended he didn't know where my human had thrown it. When she showed him, he took it and headed for the door. Paxton brought it back a few times and then took off in the woods. So. I am officially claiming these as mine. I brought them back EVERY time.

We also got some bones to chew and this treat dispenser thing like we have never had before. That's worthy of an entire blog posting.

And THEN we got what would be the equivalent of clothes to a kid - interactive toys.  Dog Domino, Dog Casino and Dog Trubble.  They are made in Sweden.  You know these will probably be more entertaining for our human than they are for us- but as long as we get the treats, I'm ok with them.  Frodo feels like this is going to be another "intelligence test." Probably.  But we all know I can figure out a way around it. We haven't tried them yet.

The dog bed IS in the big box - but needs to be assembled. This should be good. I'll keep you posted on that one too.

The internet guy didn't come - they said my human would be on the "list" for the holiday yesterday - but she knew they said that just to keep her happy. They are supposed to come today - so I can stop sending these posts via the phone. 

We had company arrive last night - a very good friend of my human's from the United States. We love when he comes. He spoils us. Rotten. I'm hoping he helps with the dog bed assembly. I'll just look sadly at him - and he'll do it . I have his number.

Have a super day. I am going to. But then, I always do!!

Boxing Day...

Well.  Here I am. In a scene from shred fest yesterday. When my human gave us our gifts, I was the first one to grab one and run and shred. Paxton, the shredder supreme didn't know what to do. He is used to stealing and THEN shredding. Frodo had to be convinced it was OK and then he did so.  I kept stealing gifts. OK. So I guess that already puts me on the naughty list for next year!

I have so much to tell you - about all my cool gifts- but I am typing with one paw on my human's phone - because horror of horrors - our internet to the house is not working!!! And it's Boxing Day - the day after Christmas where humans return the gifts they got and they try to get them at the sale price but the items are now not available in their size or color or model. But that's actually not happening here in Nova Scotia. It's a holiday here. And everything is closed. And the Internet repair people are off. Serving leftovers to the relatives who didn't come on Christmas Day. So we will be lucky to get internet tomorrow.

Speaking of leftovers - one last thing before my paw wears out on this phone. I really WAS naughty yesterday. As my human was getting ready to put the meal on the table, her mother said "what does Viktor have?" My human had turned her back on me for 3 seconds and I saw that as a perfect opportunity to jump up and help myself to a turkey leg. But I didn't eat any of it - first off I was in shock that I actually managed to grab it and second- the thing was piping HOT! My human grabbed it and I was sequestered in the hall - watching the rest of the meal proceedings through the French doors.

Have a wonderful Boxing Day - and I'll tell you about all my treasures tomorrow!!

PRESENTS!!!

OK. OK.  I KNOW I said that Christmas is NOT about the presents.  But CHECK. IT. OUT!!!!!!!!  These are for US.  And there is a HUGE box that isn’t in the photo – I think it’s the dog bed.  We MUST have been good this year!  So much for that "Naughty" sign!!!

Baby Jesus arrived at midnight – he’s now in the manger - and Santa must have come shortly after that.  We never heard him – we were SOUND asleep after all the talking we did at midnight after earlier sharing the oplatek.  Actually, we were whispering because our human was asleep.  We had quite the conversation - solving all the world's problems. Seriously, if dogs ruled the world - it would be a much more peaceful place.  Well. Maybe not if I was in charge...But it would certainly be interesting!

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL Christmas day – and I’ll tell you tomorrow ALL about what is inside these presents!  Gotta go and start shredding!!!!!! It just about KILLED me to sit and take this photo!

©  2014 Linda Wozniak

Traditions....Wesolych Swiat!

Christmas Eve.  It’s finally here.  I can’t believe it!  It’s a BIG day and lots of things are planned.   Since I’m a Polish Lowland Sheepdog – I thought that maybe I should share with you a few Polish Christmas traditions.  While my human is no expert because she has never lived in Poland  – and we don’t carry out all the rituals,  there ARE a few that we do in our household. 

First off, Christmas Eve dinner is called Wigilia.   And it’s a meatless meal. Fish is served, as are several vegetable dishes and mushroom or beet soup. But before the dinner begins, the humans share oplatek – which is a flat wafer that has been blessed.  Everyone shares a piece from everyone else – and they wish each other health and prosperity for the New Year.  Now my human has been doing this since she was a kid – and she did confide to me that the wafer tastes a bit like cardboard.  But the sentiment and good wishes are lovely.  AND – she also found out something this year that she didn’t know.  In the package of wafers, there is usually a colored wafer.  She always thought that was for the head of the family.  And so did her mother.  WRONGO.  The colored wafer is for the ANIMALS or PETS in the household –which corresponds to the fact that there were animals present at Jesus’ birth.  How COOL is THAT?! So guess who will be getting a piece of pink wafer this year?!!!  All of us boys!!! And we don’t care if it tastes like cardboard.  We’ll eat anything.  She read this on the internet – and we KNOW the net CAN be wrong.  But she likes the idea – so we’re sticking with it. And my human also read that if animals share the oplatek, at midnight they can speak in human voices!  Look out – we know I have a LOT to say!

Here, you see me looking at the manger.  Baby Jesus is missing – he doesn’t get here until midnight.  Atlantic time.  Christmas is HIS birthday and WE get presents because of it.  Santa is basically his delivery man and Santa also oversees quality control. 

Here I am. Knocking down shepherds.  We have a dog in our manger scene. So I had to get a closer look.

Once upon a time, my human and her family used to go to church at midnight to celebrate the arrival of Christmas.  Now everybody is about to fall asleep by 10:30 – so they now go to an earlier service.  My human can sing 1.5 Christmas carols IN Polish.  She has no idea what she is singing – but she heard them so much as a kid, that she memorized them.  The reason she only knows half of one is because all she can sing is the refrain.  Which she does quite loudly.  And of course, Frodo likes to sing along.

Traditions can be nice, even when they change a bit over time.  And making NEW traditions is also a good thing.  The main thing to remember is that Christmas is a time to share good wishes with others –family, friends, and of course canines (!) and maybe even some people you don’t know all that well.  Like some of you -who my human has never met -but who take the time to read my blog!  And Christmas is not all about the presents.  As I said yesterday -it’s all about the smiles…

So from our home to yours, I wish you Wesolych Swiat !!!!!!!!!   A VERY Merry Christmas and a day full of smiles and wags!!!!

©  2014 Linda Wozniak

The gift.

Well the preparations for the big day are almost done.  Frodo had his bath yesterday and when he came out the grooming room, Paxton and I pretended we didn’t know him. He looks amazing – and smells 100% better.  Not that he was THAT stinky – but he is definitely easier to be around.

My human did some last minute running around and I saw her helping Santa with some wrapping.  We watched from the other room – because as we know, we DO like to shred things – at least Pax and I do – so my human didn’t want to be battling our stealing behavior while she was doing what she calls “ her least favorite task in the world” – gift wrapping.  She LOVES to buy presents – and LOVES to surprise people with presents – but the wrapping part – well….it’s not pretty.  Which suddenly got me to thinking – WHAT CAN WE GET OUR HUMAN FOR CHRISTMAS???!!!!!!

Holy moly.  I spent all this time working out MY list…and WHAT am I going to get her????  I don’t have any cash – and the credit card hasn’t come in yet. So- what to do????  I discussed it with Pax and Fro – and we figure there are LOTS of dogs in our situation.  So what to do….

And then I came up with an idea – and YOU and your dogs can do it too!!!  I’m calling it “paw it forward for Christmas.”  We canines don’t have the money to buy gifts – but instead – we CAN give you something that costs NOTHING – and that YOU can pass on too!  Smiles.  It’s all about smiles.  For us canines,  and you can quote me... ”a wag is a smile turned sideways”.  Despite our sometimes naughty behavior, we DO adore you humans.  And we can show it by a big WAG.  A huge wag.  Which is our smile -turned sideways.  That’s our gift.  And then you humans can paw it forward  - by smiling at someone else.  Someone you don’t know.  Someone on the street.  In a store.  On the bus.  At the doctor’s office.  Just smile.  And think how great it is that your dog started this chain of happiness.  And that, besides our never-ending devotion and our steadfast admiration – would be the PERFECT Christmas gift.  Think about it…And if anyone asks why are you smiling – tell them your dog told you to.  And so did Viktor.  Viktor the PON.

©  2014  Linda Wozniak

The Christmas bath.

It was inevitable.  I knew it was coming. I just didn’t know when.  The Christmas bath.

As you may recall, Paxton had his a few weeks ago.  His was early because of the swamp encounter. I was starting to think that perhaps Frodo and I had escaped the customary cleansing of the canines, because time was running short.  You know Christmas is a BIG deal when a bath is in the schedule.  I guess we need to smell nice when Santa arrives – if we even let him in. 

My human was kind of tricky yesterday – throwing me off the plan.  We had a great run in the morning and then we had to be sequestered while she scrubbed the kitchen floor.  Now THAT is a futile endeavor.  I give it until Tuesday before you won’t even be able to tell that she painstakingly scrubbed all the grout on her hands and knees.  Let’s see what it looks like after the big guy runs through the garden beds.  It’s kind of sad to watch a grown woman cry.

But anyway, after the marathon floor cleaning, I NEVER dreamed that a bath would be on the agenda.  I mean, who would THINK that our human would still have the energy after the floor to tackle ME.  I had a feeling something was up when I saw her stacking up some towels.  We have a grooming station in our garage – including our very own tub.  When she opened the door for me to go in, at first I thought I was just going to get a brushing.  When I realized the REAL plan, I made a dash for it.  Running around the room.  Our human tried to call me and even tried to entice me with a treat – but I KNEW what was coming.  She finally managed to catch me on one of my run-bys and that was it – in the tub I went.

To tell you the truth…I actually don’t MIND a bath.  Frodo told me NOT to like it – so I pretend it’s awful, but it’s not ALL that bad.  At first I don’t like the supersonic jet engine dryer that is strong enough to blow a Papillon off the table, but after attempting to eat it for the first 10 seconds, I then sit back and enjoy the pampering.  Here are some shots of me at various stages of beautification.

 So now you KNOW my human is going to limit my walks to “on leash” exercise.  Not a CHANCE she wants to bathe me again.  And besides – she still has Frodo, the drama king left.  There will be much complaining from him – although he WILL settle down.  He just likes to put on a show.

3 more sleeps until Santa arrives!  I’m all ready.  And I SMELL marvelous!

©  2014 Linda Wozniak

Can you dig it?

My brother Frodo is smart.  Most of the time.  Now mind you, we DID see the video of him barking at the scary black dog – and he didn’t look like a rocket scientist in THAT scene.  And I KNOW he is going to be annoyed – but I have to share another non-brilliant Frodo moment…

You see, Frodo has this thing about digging.  If he finds a muddy spot outside, he will dig.  Which is kind of ironic because he doesn’t REALLY like getting dirty or wet.  He ALSO likes to dig in carpet.  So much so that our human had to replace the carpeting on the stairs because Frodo dug up a corner of the carpet on the landing.  Our human didn’t REALLY like the carpeting on the stairs all that much and she HAD been thinking about replacing it.  I say that Frodo figured that out – and just wanted to help with the process.

So the other night, while our human was sitting at the dining room table, Frodo started to dig – in the corner under a table (the one where he tries rather unsuccessfully to hide).  But the floor is made of tile.  My human watched him for a bit and then grabbed her camera.  He had already been digging for a while.  In the foreground, you can see one of our toy containers – and the fact that it has just been emptied.  That's my handiwork.  The best toys and bones are ALWAYS at the bottom.  And you can see ME in the video – just watching Frodo.  And then look at how he squeezes himself in that spot!!!  I must say, I just don’t get it.  He SEEMS like such a smart guy.  But I guess even geniuses have their funny quirks…I just hope I don’t get in trouble with Santa for sharing this…

©  2014 Linda Wozniak

Naughty.

OK.  Funny.  Very funny.  ANOTHER Christmas photo.  My human thought this was a cute idea.  Getting us to pose for these things may SEEM like a simple task…but guess again.  And you can see that yours truly even tried to eat his sign. Frodo and I were both vying for the NICE seat on the bench – but Frodo obviously won. ..

To make up for this photo, my human took ME with her to run some errands yesterday.  First we had to pick up a HUGE box at the courier office – I THINK it’s the indestructible dog bed!!! When my human opened the car door to load it, I decided I should check out the territory.  I’m usually very good at staying in the vehicle, until I am allowed out. But yesterday,  I just tried to sneak right by my human.  But don’t worry that I would EVER get out – my human IS smarter than I think.  One of the problems of having long hair is that your human can grab you quite easily as she is reaching for your collar.  I did not attempt to go exploring on subsequent stops – unless invited!

Next stop was my human’s office.  She is technically “off” for the holidays, but she still had to go in to do a bit of work and to pick something up.  It’s been a while since I was in the office – and taking the elevator WAS a surprise.  But it was fine.  Then I got to meet some of her colleagues.  For SOME reason, some of them knew MY name – but I didn’t know theirs.  How embarrassing.  I was so embarrassed that I even ducked away when they tried to pet me.  I do that the first 5 minutes after I meet someone.  After that, we’re generally good.  Especially if they give me treats that somehow my human always carries.  Anyway, it was nice to meet them and to put faces to the names…

I was quite comfortable in the office while my human did some work on her computer...

Next stop. The pharmacy.  I couldn’t go in there, so watched the traffic from the car.  Last stop the VET.  My human needed to pick up something for Paxton – and I got to go in and be weighed.  I sat on the scale like a statue.  My human thought I was being good – but I was actually FROZEN because I was wondering what I was doing there!  I was THRILLED to go back to the car afterwards.  Our regular Vet wasn’t in.  Probably still on the Round-the-World tour paid for by Paxton’s surgery.  The new wing on the Vet clinic that Paxton built is really quite nice too.  JUST JOKING.  Sort of. 

When I got home, the other boys were totally jealous.  Sometimes being NAUGHTY pays off!

©  2014  Linda Wozniak

The elf.

More attempts at Christmas photos.  Will my human NEVER stop?!  This time it was a shot with me and an elf.  Kind of like the Elf on the Shelf. 

That shelf elf guy is a big deal in the past few years.  He is supposed to come out every day and watch kids – to be sure they are behaving.  And he moves around each night.  And kids can’t touch him.  He’s kind of spooky – but basically harmless.  Although some academics are complaining that the elf is evil – and it prepares kids for life in a “police state.”  It also doesn’t allow conventional “play” as the kids can’t touch it.  COME ON humans – it’s a TOY elf.  My goodness, humans really can be crazy sometimes.  Sometimes humans forget what the word FUN is.  They overanalyze things.  Not us canines – we love fun! Mind you – our idea of elf fun would be ripping his head off.

Anyway, for SOME reason my human thought I should take an elf photo.  There was NO WAY she could take a picture with all three of us and the elf.  I DID agree to let the elf near me for 30 seconds to get a few shots – but then, well…the elf ALMOST went to elf heaven before his time.

 

 How many more days of these photos?  WOW – only 6!!!!!!!!!  My list was completed.  I faxed a copy and also e-mailed a copy to the North Pole.  I wanted to be sure it was there on time.  In the meantime, I DO have to behave as I am mindful that Santa can change his mind.  So I DO have to tolerate a FEW more Christmas photos….What scares me is that my human went to the Dollar Store yesterday.  Remember last time?  She came back with antlers.  This isn't going to be good....

©  2014  Linda Wozniak