An unplanned bath.

A weekend morning.  That generally signals an EXTRA long morning walk.  And sometimes a run on the golf course.  And yesterday was no exception.  It was clear – no rain or snow and just a PERFECT morning for a walk.

In our usual morning routine, our human feeds us before we go out.  But yesterday, she decided she would feed us when we got home –  she figured it would be incentive for us to WANT to return home.

It was dark when we got her up – so she did a few things around the house to wait until it was light out.  We were patiently waiting.  Well two of us were patient.  While our human was unloading the dishwasher, she heard what sounded like chewing.  Chewing something hard.  She looked, and saw Paxton chewing a Sharpie pen under the dining room table.  She had NO idea how he got it.  Little does she know, I gave it to him.

Anyway, while cleaning up the pen pieces,  our human made a big decision – she was going to take ALL three of us for a run on the golf course.  Which is no small fete.  Usually we go two and one – but she was feeling “lucky” so she figured what the heck.

If we are going for a run – which means no leash – we all have to wear bells.  So that she can hear us if we take off in the woods.  And once WE hear those bells come out – all heck breaks loose.  I mean we go CRAZY.  Absolutely CRAZY.  I’m sure you think you have a picture of the insanity – but trust me – it’s 100 times worse…  I’m jumping straight up and down.  And barking.  And of COURSE, Frodo is non-stop barking.  And we now have Paxton trained to bark too.  And just TRY to get those bells on us.  We also DO walk on leashes TO the course – so we also have to get those leashes on.  Our human puts me and Frodo on a coupler – so she has one less leash to hold onto.  By the time our human gets to the door to take us out, she is already exhausted.

So off we go.  We are headed to the golf course.  Which is NOT far.  But of course, I’m dragging Frodo along all the way. 

We reach the course and head down the first fairway.  And our human stops to let us off leash.  That again is a moment of insanity – because it’s like letting the bulls loose in Pamplona.  LOOK out.  Off we go.  Yeeehaw. 

We all take off.  And we race around the first pond we come to.  We all stop to sniff and race back around the pond to the route our human is taking.  Well not all of us go around.  Paxton seemed to think it would be faster to go THROUGH the pond.  Which at this time of the year, is a muddy stagnant swamp.  And down he goes.  And he gets stuck down in the mud.  And as our human goes to get him, he leaps out.  His white ruff is now a dark brown.  And he is wet.  And as he runs past, our human can smell him.  Even WE didn’t want to get near him!

So we continue our run.  We raced along – having a blast.  It was a PERFECT morning.  We ran and ran. I just LOVE doing zoomies.  The sun was completely coming up and the sky was a brilliant red.  So our human went to take a picture with her phone.  Which was NOT in her pocket. OK.  She remembered putting it on the counter to take with us…BUT did she put it in her pocket?  In the PONdemonium before we left, did she forget it?

So back we go along the same route we had taken – trying to retrace our path – in the event that the phone WAS lying somewhere in the grass. 

Leashes went back on, but we were tired and HUNGRY enough that we were happy to go home.  We pulled all the way home.

We got home, but before we could eat, our human wanted to quickly rinse Paxton off in the “dog tub”.  She rinsed.  And rinsed.  And RINSED.  And more and more brown gunk came off of him.  She took him out of the tub and went to wipe him – and the towel was  brown.  Back he went in the tub.  At which point, she figured she might as well give him his Christmas bath- a little early.  The only problem – before he has a bath, it is important to brush him FIRST.  But she couldn’t because he was already half WET.  Long story short, his hair kept clogging the brown murky water in the tub – and what would normally be a quick bath turned into a marathon bath.  And when she went to dry him with the jet engine dryer, hair went flying EVERYWHERE.  All the time Frodo and I were rather impatiently waiting for our breakfast - watching the nuclear hair fallout.

So by 8:15 AM, we had all had a GREAT run, we had one clean Berner, a FILTHY tub and a garage/grooming area covered in dog hair and two PONs who were quite happy that THEY went AROUND the pond.  Oh – and the phone was on the counter.  A super start to the day- from our point of view!

©  2014 Linda Wozniak