What did you do?

They have to be the top 2 silly questions that humans ask:  “What did you do?” and “Who did this?”  As puppies, we start hearing these lines when we have done something bad- that we clearly know we should not have done.  Typically, in this house, they are said when someone has destroyed something.  A toy.  Some slippers.  A rug. Mail.  Chair rails. A dog bed…

Now some would argue that we should never be given the opportunity to DO something bad.  Some say that’s what crates are for.  And when we are little – that is usually the case.  If our human can’t watch us when we are young– we are sequestered for our own protection and for the well being of the environment.  But as we get older, our human begins to “trust” us – and crates, in this house anyway, are not used so much...and THAT’S when the fun begins. 

As we know, Paxton is NOTORIOUS for stealing things.  As soon as one walks in the door, if his ears are down it is a dead giveaway that he has done SOMETHING.  Now our human is VERY, VERY diligent about not leaving anything dangerous for him to consume.  But sometimes she will let down her guard if she is stepping out for a minute – like to take out the garbage – but that’s all the time he needs.  The other day it was a paper bag on the counter.  Our human KNEW it was there, but figured he wouldn’t take it.  WRONGO.  She walked in to brown confetti.  At which point she uttered those famous words “What did you do?”

The other night while my human was doing some work on the computer she heard this tinkle tinkle sound.  Like ornaments hitting each other.  She looked and THERE in the DFZ was Frodo and ME.  And one dead dog Christmas ornament with his ears removed.  Another Christmas dog lay nearby – but he was still alive and intact.  Frodo was lying near the fireplace and yours truly was…standing between both dogs.  So what did my human say?  “Who did this?” AND “What did you do?” – which was directed at ME because I was in close proximity of the evidence.

Seriously.  Why do you ask those questions?  You KNOW the answer.  And it’s not like we can EXPLAIN or try to reason our way out of the situation.  But most importantly, we dogs are not stupid.  We would NEVER, EVER answer those questions – even if we could - without a lawyer present.  So please.  Stop asking.

Oh.  And sorry about the dead ornament.  But it was Frodo who did it.

©  2014 Linda Wozniak