No ugly dogs

So.  They just had an annual contest in California.   The title?  World’s Ugliest Dog.  The winner this year is a dog named Quasi Modo – a ten-year old mixed breed dog from Florida.  Poor Quasi has a birth deformity – so she has a shortened spine.

I must confess, when I first heard about the competition, I was a bit ……hmmmmmm….miffed.  I felt sorry for those dogs who just aren’t quite as adorable as I am.  OK.  I know that sounds bad – but I AM cute sometimes.  Bad.  But cute.  And I thought it was kind of mean to make fun of those dogs.

But then I started reading more about the dogs – and about the competition.  It isn’t about making fun of the dogs – but about showing that beauty in any creature lies WITHIN.  Quasi’s bio encouraged people not to “judge a book by its cover.”  And “just because a person or animal looks different, it doesn’t mean they are less deserving of love”. Quasi really IS a beautiful dog. And she apparently has the personality to match that beauty.

So after that I felt a little better.  Although I'm thinking that perhaps they could change the contest name to “World’s Most UNIQUE Dog”.  That would sound better. When you look at the owners with their “ugly” dogs – you see how much they really love them with all their uniqueness.  And THAT made me happy. 

Now who do I call about changing the name?

©  Linda Wozniak

Hug Holiday Day

June 29.  Today is Hug Holiday Day.  Now what I am about to say, may surprise some people – but the truth is….we dogs don’t REALLY love to be hugged. Really.  Yes – some dogs DO allow humans to hug them – and it is likely they were conditioned from the time they were VERY little puppies to be hugged and squeezed.  But MANY dogs see hugging as a sign of dominance – and they may find it uncomfortable. Some dogs are able to “sense” the positive feelings that the human feels when hugging – so the dogs like that.  But truth be known, many of us would prefer a good belly rub or a scratch behind our ears – rather than a hug.  That’s why it’s important to warn kids not to run up and hug strange dogs.  It could have bad results.

When it comes to affection in our house, Paxton is fine with hugging.  You could drape three kids over him and he would be in his glory.  Frodo is probably the most independent of us.  He likes a belly rub and some good ear scratches – but only for a few minutes.  And he WILL let you hug him.  For 23.6 seconds.  That’s enough for him.  And me?  I do like to cuddle and LOVE belly rubs.  And I’ll sneak up and snuggle with my human – when she’s asleep.  And I DO enjoy a hug – but probably not as much as Pax.  Keep in mind, that to hug- you need to stand still.  And that’s the tough part for me.  I’d rather retrieve.

Now I’m not saying to NEVER hug your dog.  Just do it when we’re relaxed and comfortable.  And if we ARE the huggable type – by all means – go ahead and hug away.  I think most of us would be happy for a hug today – since it IS the holiday.  And if your dog doesn’t want to be hugged – go find a human.  But preferably one you know.  It’s not a great idea to go up and randomly hug strangers.  Without asking.  I think I read that somewhere.

Have a good one!  And big hugs to all of you!!!!

©  Linda Wozniak

The art of "picnore"

Good heavens.  She’s at it again.  The human "joy" of taking photos of us dogs in ridiculous attire.  It started with the dreaded Halloween headbands with the pumpkins.  Then there were the dreaded Christmas antlers. And then the New Years stars.   And of course we had the headbands with the Valentine hearts too.  Once we had to wear the Easter rabbit ears, I thought we were in the clear for this year.  But no.  I forgot Canada Day.  And of course, I saw my human with a big bag from the Dollar Store the other day.  Sure enough.  A “wonderful” surprise for us canines. The obligatory photo shoot was yesterday.  4,760 shots taken.  The reason for the unusually HUGE number?  I refused to look at the camera.  TOTAL picnore.  For those who don’t recall that term – it’s a Viktionary term by yours truly – and it refers to that unique canine behavior of ignoring our humans when they try to take our photo.  As you may recall, Pax and I are PROS at it.  Frodo, the “model” dog always behaves for photos.  And as expected, Frodo behaved wonderfully and stared at the camera.  Pax and I looked at trees, birds, dust particles flying in the air…We counted blades of grass and looked for shapes in the clouds passing overhead. 

I have to hand it to my human – she’s as stubborn as I am!  So she DID get one or two good shots. You’ll see the best results of the 4000+ photos on Wednesday. 

PLEASE tell me there are no more “holidays” until the fall….

©  Linda Wozniak

Sunglasses Day

June 27.  Sunglasses day.  As you might imagine, it was a bit of a circus getting this photo.  Note that my feet are green.  That's because I did a half hour of retrieving before the photo. My human figured I would then be calm enough to take the photo.  That plan didn't work.  This was one of 1328 photos - none of which she was totally happy with.  Probably because in 1326 of the photos, I refused to look at the camera.  

These glasses are obviously human glasses.  But you know, you CAN get dog sunglasses.  Seriously.  They look like goggles.  I want a pair.  I’ll put them on the Christmas list.  I also found these mesh dog glasses that are also supposed to protect your eyes.  They look a bit like those sleep masks that humans wear.  You wouldn’t catch me wearing those.

But this whole sunglass topic got me looking into whether we long-haired dogs even NEED eye protection. I always thought that our hair protected us from dust, dirt and sun.  And that’s what I’ve read in books about PONs.  Imagine my surprise when I found that there is a HUGE amount of controversy about the topic – when it comes to Old English Sheepdogs.  Some claim that having hair over the eyes is detrimental to the OES – and can cause eye damage.  A number of sources say that Sheepdogs should wear their hair in a topknot, unless they are in a dog show. Those sources claim that dogs with hair over their eyes can’t see as well – their vision is occluded by the hair.

Now being the non-confrontational, somewhat democratic PON that I am (remember, I am still thinking about running for politics), I don’t want to stir the pot on this subject.  HOWEVER…I DO wonder how anyone REALLY knows the answer to the question about whether we dogs can see as well with hair covering our eyes. Has anyone done a scientific experiment looking at this?  If not, who do I see about having it done?  I mean I WILL wear my hair up – and I have some great bars to hold up my hair, but I also like the “au naturel” look too.  So who do I see about having this research funded?  When you look at some of the stuff that gets funded – well this is CLEARLY an important issue.  Or maybe the research has been done – but I just couldn’t find it.

Anyway, in the meantime, I will still be a half and half dog.  Half the time my hair is up – and half the time I have the shaggy look.  And I WILL keep those goggles on my Christmas list!

Hope your day is sunny – so you get to wear those sunglasses!

©  Linda Wozniak

Take your dog to work. Not.

June 26.  OK.  I must confess.  I am annoyed with my human.  Do you know what day it is?  It is “Take your Dog to Work Day”.  And she won’t take me. Or any of us for that matter.

Yes.  She HAS taken me to work in the past.  Usually when she has a day off and she has to run in the office for something.  The last time she did, I acted all shy when I was meeting people.  I didn’t LOVE the elevator, but I did go on it – and I was QUITE happy to get off.  I was quiet as a mouse in her office.  Unlike Frodo – who went in once and barked whenever anyone came to the office door.  That was HIS last visit.  And Paxton got to go once too – after one of his surgeries – and he was wearing the cone of shame.  My human didn’t trust him at home the first day after surgery – so she took him to the office with her.  He was a pretty imposing creature – 100+lbs of dog wearing a lampshade.  AND he gets incredibly excited when he sees people.  Picture THAT.  That was also HIS only visit.

Right now my human is very, very busy at work.  And the idea of taking any of us in to work is just too much to imagine.  She says that we could not double as therapy dogs – anyone who spends any time with us then NEEDS therapy.   She’s lucky today is Friday – she can make it up to us on the weekend.

Have fun all you dogs who go to work today.  I am so jealous…

©  Linda Wozniak

June 25

June 25.  You know what day this is?!  6 months until Christmas!!   Yipppppeeeeeee.  I have to start my list.  It will be here before you know it!  How many of you groaned when you read that?  We haven’t REALLY even started summer yet!  Someone pointed out that the temperature last December 25 was warmer than we had two days ago.  The weather is crazy.  Is it my imagination, or is there something about bad weather on the news EVERY night?  We had very bad rain the other night – so much that the next morning, Frodo was again in NO hurry to go out.  Even though it wasn’t even raining – puddle jumping was necessary.

So.  For that Christmas list….  GoPro camera.  GoPro camera.  GoPro camera.  I think if I keep saying it – it will happen.  And I want my human to get that Dog TV channel.   Really.  That or Animal Planet.  I keep trying to get my human to upgrade from Basic Cable.  We need more options to watch when she goes to work.  I will continue to add things to my list.  Although time is running out.  I only have 6 months left…..

Happy holidays!

©  Linda Wozniak

Senses.

June 25.  Celebration of the Senses Day.  We dogs have great senses.  We can smell things better than humans, and hear more frequencies than humans. We don’t see quite as well.  But still well enough to spot those pesky squirrels! 

But besides the “regular” senses – we dogs also have some amazing “other” senses.   For example, we dogs know when our humans are sad, when you are angry and we know when you are scared.  We can also sense your “intentions” – like when you are planning to give us a bath. We even know when you are taking us to the Vet.  Seriously. 

We can sense all kinds of medical conditions – from predicting seizures, to identifying cancers – and we can even sense when a woman is pregnant.  

We know not to steal things when you are watching, and can sense when your back is turned.  Mind you, I will steal food right in front of you.  Why wait until you turn your back? 

We also know if you are being unfair!  Really.  I know if Frodo or Paxton got a reward, and I didn’t.  But researchers claim that we don’t pay attention to WHAT the reward is – so you could give them cheese and I could get a biscuit – and that would be fine.  Just don’t forget to reward one of us.  We dogs have a strong sense of fairness.  Mind you, personally I think it’s fine to give ME more treats because I’m the baby in the family.  I deserve more…

We dogs can also sense people who don’t like us – and we know who YOU don’t like. And we’ll let you know it.

So today we celebrate the sensitive creatures we dogs are!  We really ARE amazing – and aren’t you lucky we keep you?!

©  Linda Wozniak

More Physical Therapy

Physical therapy for different muscles.  That’s what we did yesterday.  Remember how I talked the other day about how we do adjustments to our human’s spine each morning when we bolt out the door for our walk?  We help her stretch her muscles EVERY morning – in her efforts to resist our pulling.  And in an effort to stay upright.  Well yesterday we decided to have her work on some different muscles.  The kind you use when dogs are walking 10 feet behind you instead of 10 feet in front of you.  Yes.  A morning of Polish Water Torture.  My human KNEW it was going to be great fun when Frodo didn’t get up – even when she put a leash on him.  He’s not stupid – he HEARD the rain.  He wasn’t going anywhere.  And because I have learned to do what HE does – well you can picture the somber procession up the long driveway and down the road.  It wasn’t REALLY raining ALL that hard – but you would think we were walking through fire. My human trudged forward – pulling probably close to 90 lbs of wet dogs behind her.  And to top it off, Frodo did the ultimate “refuse-a-poop”.    He was NOT happy out there – and to demonstrate his displeasure, he REFUSED to poop.  I went quickly as I figured we could go back.  But NO – I was stuck with “Mr. I-will-hold-it”.

After what seemed like 4 days, Frodo FINALLY made a deposit and we went home.  He remained rather cranky the rest of the morning.  But he got over it.  And the good news – my human had a different work out.  We really WERE just thinking of her…

Thank GOODNESS we have sun in the forecast for the rest of the week!  Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak

And in the news...

So time for a review of the news.  The first item is a BIT of an embarrassment for us canines.  It seems a CAT in California won the annual “Hero Dog” award.  Yes – you are reading that correctly.  A CAT won the award – for protecting a little boy from a not-so-nice dog.  Kudos to the cat – but come ON canine brothers and sisters– we need to get on the ball and win back the title.  Get out there – watch for damsels in distress, little boys trapped in wells,  baby birds that have fallen from their nests…we need to get back in the game!!

Wait!  I just found the story of the seeing eye dog who jumped in front of a bus to protect his owner.  Although both the dog and the owner were injured, the dog stayed with his owner until help arrived.  And the good news – they are both going to be OK.  Phew.  Well done fellow canine!

On a serious note – a retired school teacher in China paid over $1000 to save 100 dogs from the annual dog meat festival in southern China.  Yes.  Gulp.  You read that correctly.  The dog meat festival. Yang Xiaoyun traveled over 1500 miles to save the dogs – and to take them to a sanctuary she established in 1999.  Her shelter houses almost 1500 dogs.  The conditions in which she and the dogs live are sad to say the least.  But she is trying her best…   Boy. We dogs in the Western world sure don’t know how GOOD we have it…

On a good news note – a family in North Carolina was reunited with their dog who went missing.  6 years ago!  The dog was found and animal control was able to track the family down because the dog had a microchip.  IMAGINE the stories that dog has to tell.  Wonder what happened?  Did someone steal him?  Did he just decide to go on a road trip on his own?  Did he just get lost?  Yesterday I did my own "road trip" into the woods – while Paxton and Frodo just watched.  Paxton couldn’t join me – because he was on a leash – but Frodo didn’t want to get full of sticks and mud.  I just had a WONDERFUL carefree RACE through the woods.  But no worries about me disappearing – I hadn’t had my dinner yet – so I didn’t stray for long.  Paxton and Frodo tried to attack me as I raced back to the front door - after they had waited about 10 minutes for me to return. What can I say? Sometimes a guy just has to run.

So that’s the news for today.  Some good.  Some not so good.  How about we all try and make some good news today?  I'll try MY best. And as we know - for me, that can be a challenge!  Happy Monday...

© Linda Wozniak

Fathers and suns

June 21.  The longest day of the year.  The Summer solstice. And it’s Father’s Day.  Lots to celebrate!

Since it’s the longest day, there is more time to play, more time for walks and more time for eating.  I understand that in Sweden, it is a tradition to eat your way through the day – with lots of feasts.  My kind of place!!

We’ll be sure to get our human up as soon as the sun begins to rise and we will keep her up until sunset.  Might as well enjoy every moment of sunlight.  It sure beats December 21 – when we have lots of hours of darkness.

I didn’t send a card to my canine father – but I’ll pass on my licks and hugs in this blog.  He no doubt reads this.

My human’s father is at the Rainbow Bridge – with a bunch of canine pals – Mickey, the Irish Setter, Midas, the Golden Retriever,  Barney, the wild dog, Schubert, Guinness and Harper, the Bernese, and Beamish the Lab.  No doubt, Guinness is chewing his arm, and he is smiling as he watches our antics.  He would have loved us – he liked all dogs – and he would have especially loved us Polish boys - given that he was Polish himself!  I bet he would have even shared some kielbasa with us. He was a VERY artistic man – he could draw, and paint and carve things. He carved many things – beautiful ducks and birds – and LOTS of special Santas for my human and her sister.  Here was one he carved the year Guinness was born.  The other is a dog that he just made one day - and it bears some resemblance to a PON – although neither Frodo or I were even alive yet!  We know he was a great man – who is sadly missed but lovingly remembered...

 So today we celebrate Fathers and suns!  I wish all Fathers – either here or no longer with us - a very special greeting, and I hope everyone is able to get out today and enjoy the daylight hours!  Happy official beginning to summer!!!!

© Linda Wozniak

New breeds.

I was reading in the paper that the AKC has just recognized three new breeds.  I don’t get that word “recognized”.  Could the AKC not see them before?  Did the AKC have amnesia before? 

Anyway, the Berger Picard comes from France.  So it’s in the Herding Group.  More competition for us PONS.  They were actually in three movies: Because of Winn Dixie, Daniel and the Superdogs and Are We Done Yet?  They have pointy ears and look kind of scruffy.  They are supposed to be smart – but then most herding breeds are.  Of course, I am biased.  They supposedly don’t require a lot of grooming.  I think I want one.

The Miniature American Shepherd is another herding dog.  MORE competition.  To me, they look like little Australian Shepherds.   But I will no doubt get in trouble for saying that – no humans want anyone to mistake THEIR breed for another.  When my human first got Bernese Mountain Dogs, and they were not yet popular, people thought her dogs were Saint Bernards.  Seriously. My human would just roll her eyes and explain that they were very different.  So maybe the people who own these Miniature American Shepherds will roll THEIR eyes if people think they are little Australians.  Kind of like Miniature Pinschers and Dobermans.  They are NOT the same.  And then you have the confusing Poodles.  They have big ones - standard, smaller ones- miniature and the micro-mini ones - the toys.  It is all so confusing.  But it IS interesting that the home of Australian Shepherds is America. Clever name.  You humans.  You do such strange things.

The last breed is the Lagotto Romagnolo - from Italy. This breed is a sporting breed.  They look KIND of like Portuguese Water Dogs. (I’m sure I’ll get in trouble for THAT comparison too.  But remember – I’m just a dog – what do I know?)  And their sport? They hunt truffles.  Not foxes.  Truffles.  Seems like a pretty easy prey.  Although apparently truffles are not ALL that easy to find.  They are basically mushrooms.  That grow underground.  And they are a bit of a delicacy. They usually cost anywhere from $95-$165 an OUNCE.  In 2014, what was supposed to be the worlds’s largest white truffle at 4.16 lbs sold to someone in China for over $61,000!  Seriously?  I think I have found a new job!!! IMAGINE all the treats I could buy with THAT money.

So welcome to the new breeds. And now excuse me while I go mushroom hunting.  I was sure I saw some in the back yard…

© Linda Wozniak

Sauntering.

June 19. Today is World Sauntering Day.  Suantering is walking in a slow, unhurried manner.  That is NOT a word that would be used to describe me.  I do NOT saunter.  EVER.  The best word to describe MY walking would be frenetic.  I am FAST.  Energetic.  I am the opposite of a saunterer.  And the COMPLETE opposite of Frodo.  Frodo is the KING of Sauntering.  He has this easy, lovely way of walking – our neighbor described him as “gliding”.  He ambles and strolls along.  Me?  The Hurricane Kid.  Sniff here.  Race there.  Chase birds.  Retrieve 1000 times and never stop.  Frodo?  He glides along peacefully.  When he retrieves, he runs out to get the toy and casually lops along as he comes back. 

Paxton is neither frenetic nor saunterer.  He is somewhere in between.  Kind of like freight train meets molasses.  With legs flying every which way.  I love the big guy, but graceful is NOT his middle name.

So today is Frodo’s Day.  King Saunter.  

I hope you all have time to try some sauntering of your own today!  Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak

Splurge

June 18.  Today is National Splurge Day. If I could – what would I buy?  Dog food.  Of course.  That really goes without saying.  And treats.  Lots of treats.  Since I would be splurging, I would even go to the Doggie Bakery and buy those treats that cost like $100 each.  Well – maybe not THAT much.  But enough that my human doesn’t buy them because she says we eat too quickly – and we don’t really appreciate them.  But since I’m splurging, I’ll get some and throw in a dozen pupcakes too.

What else? I would buy another one of the Kuranda dog beds.  Remember our history in destroying every dog bed known to mankind?  Until we got the Kuranda?  Well – it is STILL in one piece – and each of us uses it.  Frodo tries in vain to ball up the fleece cover that is attached to the four legs.  Until my human shouts “Stop it.” And NO one has chewed any part of it.  Mind you, the legs ARE made of metal.  But as I said – the fleece is still intact.  So I would get two more of those beds – so that we can EACH have one.  And then we don’t have to share.

What else?  How about a new cart for Paxton?  A wagon.  So he can pull Frodo and I around.  The cart he has right now is too small for both of us.

Oh.  And some new chew bones.  Forget the fact that we have a huge container with more bones than we could chew in a year.  We might as well get just a couple more.  So we have more to spread out all over the house immediately after my human puts them away.

What else?  Some new collars.  A dog can never have too many collars.  But skip the raincoats.  And the boots.

More retrieving toys.  I LOVE to retrieve.  The more toys, the better.

Oh – and of course – the GoPro camera!!!!!! I almost forgot that one!!!!  I also still want an iPawd so I can watch doggie YouTube videos.   Or I could just get an iPhone.  No – I’ll get both.

So that’s the splurge plan.  ONE small problem.  I don’t EXACTLY have the cash.  Maybe my human will give me a loan. Or she'll let me use her credit card.   Then again.  She already buys most the stuff I listed.  OK – maybe SHE should go out and splurge…I bet she’ll like THAT idea! And I give her my permission.

©  Linda Wozniak

Physical therapy. PON style.

Today I would like to share information about the new services I am offering.  Well – Frodo and I are offering.  PON Physical Therapy.  Or Physiotherapy as we call it in Canada.  I suppose I should be careful as neither of us is actually a licensed “therapist”.  But we definitely offer treatment.  Every day…

When my ancient human gets up at 5AM each day to take us for our morning constitutional, she SOMETIMES feels a bit hmmmmmmm….achy.  She gets dressed and then promptly takes Frodo and I out.  And then Paxton gets his walk.  As SOON as Frodo and I walk out the door – we sit.  I should note that 3 seconds earlier – inside- we were leaping and barking and screaming.  Go figure.  We CAN behave.  Because our human gives us a treat when we walk out the door.

But once we HAVE that treat, we go full throttle.  And my human has to hold on for dear life.  She leans back as we bolt forward.  And the motion and resistance, cause an IMMEDIATE manipulation of my human’s back.  And her arms and legs and torso.  Instant physical therapy. And it REALLY wakes her up!  As we drag her up the hill and she continues to resist the strain, she feels better and better.  Seriously.  She no longer feels aches and pains.  Probably because her mind is on staying upright.  She doesn’t have time to think of the aches!

So anyone who needs a full body manipulation – we are offering services.  The fee?  Treats.  Lots of good treats. 

Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak

Late night stampede

So yesterday my human had a RARE day off.  She has a crazy schedule all summer – but did have a day off in between the craziness – so she had plans to relax.  And get a good night’s sleep the night before.  But we canines had other plans in mind.

We started around midnight.  The weather is finally nice enough to leave some windows open – which means we can hear the sounds of nature around us.  The birds in the trees.  The peepers (which are little frogs).  And the sound of the wind.  But of course, having the super acute hearing that we canines have – we can hear OTHER things.  And if one of us hears something, or THINKS he hears something, it results in a raucous STAMPEDE from the bedroom, down the hall and into the kitchen.  I started the first round. I gave the signal, stared the barking and running, and the other two followed and joined in the chorus.  Seriously – I THOUGHT I heard something.  I should note that we were being SUPER vigilant because the other night SOMETHING knocked over our garbage can outside and made a mess.  Mind you - NONE of us made a sound THAT night. 

So we needed to make up for our poor guarding duties the night before.  The first round woke my human up – and she told us to go back to sleep.  Which we did.  Only to have another stampede a half hour later.  And then another one.  And another.  And ANOTHER.  At which point, my human, the party pooper said “ENOUGH!” and blocked us IN the bedroom with one of the dreaded baby gates.  That put a prompt end to the stampede game.

Yesterday morning, there were no signs of any mysterious creatures in our yard.  The garbage was intact and the only thing looking ragged was my human. What a super way to start a day off!

But at least she knew she was safe all night!

©  Linda Wozniak