Monday, August 7, 2017

Training. Picard 1. Human 0.



So you know how humans use this system of intermittent reinforcement to train us canines.  Or they THINK they are training us – but we know better.  Well let me tell you – we dogs do the same thing.  We give you a behaviour.  Like a good behaviour.  And so you humans THINK we will continue to give you that good behaviour.  Yeah – well don’t count on it…

So my human has been training the FG to fetch those orange bumpers – while on a long line.  And for quite a few nights now, he has been great at retrieving.  Well…maybe the word “great” is a stretch.  Pretty good is more like it.  He doesn’t ALWAYS bring it right back, but for the past little while he has not run off with it.  No disappearing act in the woods. No dashing down to the lake.  No escaping to the neighbours’ place.  He has been  good.  So Saturday night, he was watching me play fetch in the backyard.  He and Einstein were on the deck and watched as I crazily ran out and back NUMEROUS times to bring back the bumper.  I will play fetch until I am ready to drop from exhaustion.  My human has to be careful with me if it is warm out – we can’t play for very long.  But Saturday night it had begun to cool off, and it was perfect fetch weather.  The FG watched me and squeaked for his turn.  So after I was done, my human took me inside and took the FG out.  But this time, she decided NOT to put on the long line.  He’s been so well- behaved.  She figured she had “trained” him.  So she threw the toy.  And he ran out to get it.  And raced around to the backyard.  My human followed him and tossed the other toy.  ( We have two the same, so the game is continuous – bring one back and the other is thrown). And the FG raced off to get it.  And then,  something happened.  I honestly think he realized he was completely FREE.  No long line. And within .063 seconds, he headed for the trail to the lake.  My human futilely called his name, in that fake sweet voice that attempts to hide the the panic she is really feeling.  But no point – he was G-O-N-E.   With my human in hot pursuit.  She saw him stop to poop so she ran faster to try to catch up to him.  He started running mid-poop. There was no way he was going to be caught.  So down he raced to the lake.  And on the way, my human picked up some rocks.  As he approached the water, she tossed one in, thinking he would stop to look at what it was, and she could grab him. Wrongo.  She made a big splash with the rock and instead of him standing on shore to look at it, he went in the water to get a closer look. And that was it.  No getting him out.  Every time he got within reach of my human, he would back up in the water.  At one point he came out – but wet dogs have an unusual “super speed” that is extra hard to control.  He dashed. And darted.  And she could not get near him.  And when she almost did, he ran back into the water.  And then he decided to wade in the water along the shore. Further along, past our place, the shoreline grasses are pretty tall, and my human had visions of ticks waiting to jump onto her legs. Not that she has seen any – but one never knows.  So at that point she stomped back to the house – to get rubber boots and a leash.  She no sooner came out the door with leash in hand, and around the corner of the house came a wet, scary looking creature, who had clearly run through a swampy area.  He immediately changed direction as soon as he saw her. This time he was headed up toward the neighbors’.  She opened the garage door and jumped in the car. And she wasn’t forty feet from the door when she saw him hiding in the bushes.  She stopped the car and he ran around it.  She got out and calmly opened the rear hatch, and he raced around to get in.  Busted.  She grabbed his collar and matched him back to the garage where he was put in the tub and the swamp remnants were thoroughly rinsed off.. And then he faced the airplane jet engine dryer.  He didn’t care – he loves the thing.  He stands there with his hair blowing and his head held high – like he’s in some kind of shampoo commercial.  In his mind, it was a GREAT time all around.  

For my human, this is not exactly the relaxing evening she had planned.   I’m thinking that the FG will once again be playing fetch on the long line.  Until he again trains my human to let him loose….
Have a good one!  Peace and paws up!

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