If I was a human...

So my human took this quiz on-line the other day.  You answer like 10 questions, and at the end, it tells you what kind of DOG you would be.   See.  Humans DO want to be more like dogs. Otherwise why would they make up this kind of thing!

Anyway, she took the quiz – and GET THIS – she would be….no not a PON. Or a Lab.  Or a Bernese.  She would be a CHOW CHOW.  A Chow chow?  She doesn’t have a blue tongue! Although in China they were called the “puffy lion dog” and she IS a LEO.  That must be the connection.

Which got me thinking…if I could be a HUMAN, who would I be?  Let’s see.  I want to be a politician.  How about JFK?  No wait – that’s no good – he’s dead.  Hmmmm – I’m smart.  Albert Einstein?  We have the same kind of wild hair.  Nah.  I’m not THAT smart.  And he’s dead too…..A comedian…like…hmmmm….Steve Martin.  A “wild and crazy guy.”  That sounds like me.  That’s a possibility. But wait -he plays the banjo.  Scratch that one – I’m not a banjo fan.   A writer…JK Rowling? She wrote all that Harry Potter stuff.  Maybe I could write my own books and call them “Hairy PONter.”  Nah. That would be plagiarism – and really, I can’t be her….An athlete….Tiger Woods? Nah.  He hits the ball AWAY from himself.  I bring balls back…..hmmmm…who could I be?.....A singer.  Taylor Swift?  When I go out in the rain I like to “Shake it off.”  But no.  I really can’t sing like her.  But Frodo can…hmmmm…..An actor.  George Clooney?  I’m handsome like him.  But wait.  He just got married.  And I don’t even have a girlfriend.  A billionaire….Bill Gates?  Nah – I don't think the $20 we won in the lottery would qualify me for Bill’s group.  

Hmmmm. If I were a human, who would I be?  I’ve got it!  MY human!  THAT’S who I would be!!! I mean look who she is – a woman who lets 3 dogs RULE her life! THAT’S pretty cool – from a canine point of view.  Yeah.  I don’t even need to take the quiz.  I know who I would be! Either her.  Or Emperor of the Universe.

©  2015 Linda Wozniak