The Oscars

So the other night my human watched something on TV called the Oscars.  Well – she watched PART of the Oscars – it goes on TV way too late to stay up for the whole thing.  It was past my bedtime – but I watched a few minutes with her.  I wasn’t all that excited about it – it’s not like there were ANY movies that starred a dog.  No Lassie.  No Rin Tin Tin.  No Marley.  No Dalmations.  No Shaggy DA - one of my favorites – for obvious reasons.  No Benji. No Beethoven. Just a bunch of humans.  With some Bird Guy thrown in for good measure.

And this whole “fashion” thing before the show even starts.  Seriously.  It’s OBVIOUS none of those people have dogs.  Their attire was DEFINITELY NOT dog friendly. We canines would be stepping all over those gowns.  And the materials they were made of – lace and silk and stuff with beads.  That stuff is NOT something you play fetch in – and it definitely would not stand up to Paxton’s slobber after he has a drink.  Nope.  Not at all dog friendly.

Which got me to thinking – maybe I could be a dog-friendly fashion designer.  Really…

Color wise, I would match people’s attire to their dogs – so you couldn’t see the dog hair.  But I wouldn’t use too much white – even IF their dog was white, because it shows paw prints too well.  And the material has to be sturdy so it can hold up to jumping dogs.  And it really shouldn’t collect dog hair – so velvet is OUT.  I’m thinking something in canvas would be nice.  Or Gor-Tex.  A grey Gor-Tex gown.  With canvas accents on the belt.  And deep pockets.  To hold treats. 

And when the stars would come down the Red Carpet, and they would be asked “and who are you wearing?” ...They would say Viktor.  Viktor the PON.  Hmmm….I’m liking it... 

Although…I AM still leaning toward politics…

©  2015  Linda Wozniak